2017 – Week 12

What a week. It rained pretty much all day long and it wasn’t looking too promising at tee time but it turned out to be a decent evening. Attendance continues to suffer this season as our subs just aren’t as available as they’ve been in past years. Either the subs are too busy or they aren’t getting asked to sub. If it is the latter, then members may want to think twice about chancing your round with your card in the future. There were four rounds played against the card this past week and two of the four were close to getting SKUNKED! That’s right, two of the cards almost lost 10-0. For those of you who may not know this, there has never been a match play shutout in the 22-year history of the GCCGL. NOT ONE! So the next time you are in need of a sub, think twice about playing your card. Subs are people too. They have feelings just like regular GCCGL members. If you prick them, do they not bleed? If you poison them, do they not perish? If you beat them in match play, do they not crawl under their golf cart and cry like a whimpering little sissy girl? Of course, they do. So next time, have some compassion and some sense and find a sub to fill in for you. I promise, you won’t regret it.

The 19th hole was extra lively this week. A lot of members stayed around and enjoyed the libations and camaraderie. By the way, we’ve noticed the last few weeks that the first couple of groups are getting a little stingy on the draft beer lately. Two pitchers of cold beer is just not enough for 20 to 24 hot, sweaty and thirsty golfers. Look, I don’t mind buying beer for my GCCGL members and I’m not saying that I ALWAYS buy beer. God knows there are others, but the concession stand has started a running tab under my name. And don’t be afraid to mix it up a bit. For the first time this year, I bought a pitcher of Leinenkugel’s Summer Shandy instead of that beer-flavored water they call Miller Lite and Bud Light. You know what, the Summer Shandy pitcher was the first to go. The Miller and Bud pitchers were practically still full by the time the last drop of Leinenkugel’s was finished. Glad to see there are some craft beer enthusiasts still in this league.   

With just two weeks left to the trading deadline, there was A LOT of trade talk swirling around. Although a lot of people stayed after the round, the names of those who left or weren’t there to begin with, were immediately being thrown out like a used tissue. Some of the trade proposals included

Syndrome (STC) for PW (DD) – this proposal was shot down immediately by my teammates.

Meat (STC) for Lip Gloss (DD) – this one was also not taken seriously. Why would DD trade for another “B” player? Zing! You see, that’s funny because LG is officially our “A” player but we call him our B player. Anyway, The Portuguese Warrior did not consent to this deal but I’m telling you now LG, Cletus and Cupcake were on board and trying to figure out how they could squeeze a few bottles of bourbon as part of the deal!

Scratch (YG) for Lip gloss (DD) – now this one got interesting. The reasoning behind this deal was that YG has the championship sewn up so why not trade Scratch and help DD finish in the money? The funny thing about this proposal was that it came from Big Donkey (I think) who is on team STC. As much as everyone tried to convince Squirts to pull the trigger, he wouldn’t budge so the deal died on the vine.

Meat (STC) for Potter (JETS) – out of all the talk, this is the one that got the most play. Believe it or not, the rules for making a trade in the GCCGL are very complicated and quite ridiculous. Considering that it was former co-commissioner Cletus who drafted the rule several years ago, it makes sense as to why it’s this way. You can read all about it in Section11A-1 in the GCCGL Rules if you feel like it. The moment was captured on video for your entertainment. You’re about to get a rare glimpse of what it’s like to try and pull off a deal in the GCCGL.

There you have it, quite possibly the worst deal ever to be made….. ANYWHERE. Worse than John Elway to Denver for Mark Herrmann, worst then Kobe Bryant to the Lakers for Vlade Divac and finally YES…..worse than Babe Ruth for $100,000 and another $300,000 loan to finance the movie, My Lady Friends which eventually became the basis for the musical, No, No, Nanette.  Like I’ve stated many times, we here at the GCCGL commissioner’s office, strive to provide our members with culture and sophistication outside of the everyday bathroom humor normally found on this crazy blog. Nothing against Mike “Money” Meat Morrell. He’s putting together a very nice season (6 wins and only 2 losses while racking up 45 points). However, Nick “Potter” Duer is playing out of his mind and single handedly carried the JETS (8 wins, 0 losses and a tie with 55.5 points). Meat goes from 2nd place to 4th place as STC makes a final push to catch the Young Guns. Although the consensus amongst the ranks is that the GCCGL Championship race is all but over, but stranger things have happened.  Poor Meat, he actually hung around for most of the evening but still got traded. Who knows, if he would have just stayed another few minutes, everyone most likely would have gotten bored and headed to Barleycorn’s. If the above isn’t incentive for everyone to stick around after golf on Thursday evenings, then I don’t know what is. You know what the sad thing about this is? The biggest losers in this whole deal aren’t the JETS or STC. Nope, the biggest losers are Cupcake and PW! We are the ones who have to make the necessary adjustments to the GCCGL results spreadsheet and blog to somehow figure out how to make this work! Seriously, as I’m writing this blog right now, I have no idea how this is going to work under the new blog platform. And as Lip Gloss will tell you, I don’t have time for this nonsense!

Anyway, the big winners this week were Strait to Church who destroyed Birdies, Eagles and a Crowe (28 – 12). They were led by Cuzin’ Joe who almost pulled off the first 10-0 skunking in GCCGL history by beating Robinson’s card (9.5 – .5). The Young Guns beat up on Rover (25 – 15). They were led by Scratch who took 8.5 points against Boot Boy’s card. Rounding up match play, Dropping Deuces defeated the JETS (24 – 16). They were led by the scrappy one, Cletus, who took 7.5 points.

Profile Spotlight
Today’s player profile spotlight is Potter. Potter is a GCCGL veteran who was almost kicked out and banned from the GCCGL before he even started! Nick never paid his dues back at the beginning of 2009. As a matter of fact, despite several emails and requests throughout the season, the dues were never paid even after the season ended. The commissioner’s office wound up calling an emergency meeting to discuss this terrible infraction. None of the commissioners really knew who this Nick Duer character was. He had just moved to the area from Willimantic and played one week the entire 2009 season. I guess he felt like he didn’t owe anyone any money since he hardly played. WRONG! It doesn’t work that way Potter. At any rate, Potter paid his dues without incident and apparently is was all just some sort of miscommunication. Or maybe it had something to so with league enforcer/co-commissioner Cupcake pinning up a picture of Derek Jeter with his head cut off and $50 written in red lipstick at his cubicle. Either way, we’re happy that it all worked out. What would this league be without Potter anyway?

History Lesson
This week’s history lesson was a no brainer. Seven years ago, the first trade in the GCCGL was made at the trade deadline. Big Donkey was also the catalyst for this three-way deal, traded Syndrome to Ken Bailey’s team for two cases of beer (one to Ken “Hump” Bailey and one to Jason “Cupcake” Nill) and a frisbee for Nate “Moon Boy” Berkley. This turned out to be a critical trade as Big Donkey’s team wound up winning the championship by 4.5 points and Moon Boy had a lot to do with that. Moon Boy made a long putt during the final scramble that propelled Big Donkey’s team one place ahead of the 2nd place team (a 5 point difference). You can read all about it if you wish right HERE.

The low net winners this week were Cuzin’ Joe (A/B) with a low net of 28! Holy schnikes! And co-commissioner Cupcake, (C/D) with a low net round of 31. Another great round! Congratulations to the winners. We move to the Willows front for the next two weeks and continue with match play. We hope to see you on the course and as always, hit ‘em straight!

George Almeida – GCCGL Co-Commissioner