Sorry about last week dawgs!  Work man…can’t wait to retire.  #23yearsleft. 

THE LIPSMACKER MATCH OF THE WEEK

4-3 on the season because Roller takes the L against Bedell in US Open week.  The “stats” made that pick a no brainer…and it blows up in my face.

WEEK 14 MOW – Allen “Cletus” Bloomhuff vs. Ben “Dahm” Leininger

Love this match-up this week.  Not a ton of history from these two, as Leininger owns a W in the only match-up they have had back in 2021.  Make no mistake about it though, these two annoy the shit out of each other.  Well maybe that’s a bit harsh, but I think it’s fair to say Dahm hasn’t quite figured out how to deal with the old man.  So Dahm, I’m going to give you a little advice as it relates to Cletus antics.  I met Allen way back in 2010 and soon after I started at General Cable, he offloaded some ABL reporting that was pure, crap, busy work.  He saw new blood and pounced at the opportunity.  It took me about 6 months to realize what Allen had done.  I was diligently working and worried about making a good impression on my bosses I didn’t pull my head out of the sand.  When I did, I instantly respected Bloomhuff for the fast one the old prick had pulled. 

It wasn’t long after that we started playing golf together.  Needless to say, Allen was loud, crude and owned one of the worst reverse pivots in a golf swing I had ever seen.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen Allen hit a ball over 220 yards, he has terrible touch around the greens, and his putting is average at best.  But you know what, it didn’t stop that asshole from betting me $5 every week on low-net.  And for the first few years in the league, I paid him a decent amount of money.  I couldn’t beat the guy. 

So what changed…I started ignoring him.  You have to put on “Cletus Blinders.”  Or maybe “Cletus Earplugs” is better.  Talking in your backswing?  Change your focus to assume there will always be noise and assume there will NEVER be quiet.  Hit one in the woods?  Accept that he will tell you how bad of a shot that was.  Just make sure you let him know how bad his shot is when he tops one of the tee.  Both of you guys in the middle of the fairway?  Bring the heat to him.  Challenge HIM to a dollar bet for closest to the pin…but make sure you win.

GLOSSY PREDICTION – Allen’s giving Ben 2 strokes tonight and that’s not a situation Cletus is in much.  Lifetime averages, Ben shoots a net of 37.7; Cletus a 38.5.  Now normally I would stop there and pick Ben based on the scores, but I want to look at one more thing.  Cletus’ record this year versus the league: 118-56-12.  That’s 68.3 win percentage so far in 2023, which is pretty damn impressive.  Specifically against Dahm, Cletus is 5-3.  Based on THOSE stats and because I know better than to bet against Allen, Cletus wins tonight 6.5-3.5.

Kreyling Korner

Random Twitter Video

Some of you know this, but I played soccer way back in the day.  Before you start launching the derogatory comments against soccer, let me defend myself.  I played goalie, and as everyone knows, goalies are the true athletes on a soccer field.  Just ask cupcake…he played and was NOT a goalie.  Anyway, a friend of mine sent me this over the weekend and it made me laugh.  File this under random stuff I like to share with the league.

https://twitter.com/thebestfigen/status/1678086815935258625?s=43&t=P_hq7ThHD6vXkts3Md6O8A

#sweetbutterycrumpets

Open Championship Week

The Open Championship at Royal Liverpool is off and running.  You know what the Open Championship makes me think of…playing golf in crappy weather (although it’s crystal clear there right now).  Almost every year when I watch its windy, rainy and generally just looks miserable to be in (which they are predicting for later in the week).  So tonight, if everyone gets to the course and there is a little bit of rain and a couple blobs on the radar, just chill and have a beer.  Remind yourselves that the best players in the world will be playing in crappy weather at some point this week.  And if we know anything about the GCCGL, it’s that we are very comparable to pros.  Like George said last week, the days of playing in tornado conditions is over (I miss those days), but at least give the weather a chance to break up.  Last week ended up being perfect! 

#idon’tthinktheheavystuffisgoingtocomedownforquiteawhile

Until next week – fairways and greens my friends.