THE LIPSMACKER MATCH OF THE WEEK

Don’t look now, but LipGloss is on a heater.  And to quote the dad from the Hangover, “you never walk away from the table when you are on a heater.”    3-0 and on to week 5!

WEEK 5 MOW – Brady “Welcher” Gosney vs. Richard “Merlin” Parvesse

Maybe being 3-0 has me getting a little cocky, because I’m going of script and actually putting a sub, Brady Gosney, in the MOW.  Another lesson for your newbies, I don’t usually put subs in the MOW.  Why you ask?  Because subs aren’t really people.  However, this week I’m breaking my rule for two reasons.  One, Brady has subbed so consistently over the last two years I feel he deserves a MOW.  Two, it fits in with my story in Kreyling Korner, which will also explain his new nick name – Welcher.  Lifetime, Welcher and Merlin have matched up twice, both in 2022.  The overall match is even at 1-1.  Interesting note, Parvesse’s win over Brady was on the Pioneer Front.   

GLOSSY PREDICTION – so last week my assumptions on Grainger (using statistics) shooting a net 43 was off.  However, it wasn’t a terrible guess, so I’m sticking with my strategy in week 5.  Here’s the problem, I don’t have the lifetime averages for subs (Brady) because Cupcake doesn’t track it.  Why?  Everyone say it with me…subs aren’t really people.  So here we go with my first “gut” pick in 2023.  Now, I did go back and check Rich’s net score on the Pioneer Front and he shoots a net 35.  Brady is giving up 1 stroke, but I’m not sure it’s enough.  Here’s what I think (*cough* foreshadowing *cough*), if Brady focuses more on playing golf than talking shit, he wins this one.  Gosney with the W, 6-4.   

KREYLING KORNER

Brady is a Welcher

Alright, I’m going to start this story with this caveat.  I fully recognize that I have a platform to share my views on certain stories and antics in the league.  I understand that other members and subs could view my interpretations of stories and antics differently.  That being said, if Brady, the subject of this story, would like to type up his own version, I will post it, unedited assuming it is written in a PG-13 format.

Now that I got that out of the way, I want to explain to the members of the GCCGL that Brady Gosney owes me $20.  Brady and I played in the same group last week, and it was a wonderful round but we ran into a little controversy on the 18^th hole.  On the 18^th, I hit a drive that was a cross between a top and a duck hook.  This drive was so bad, it ended up on the front of the ladies tee box.  Naturally the group made fun of me to which I said, “I’ll par from there.”  Brady teed off after me and laced a drive right down the middle.

As we walked to our ball, Brady was giving me all kinds of shit saying how pathetic my drive was.  I repeated, “Brady, I’m going to par from here.”  And of course he says, “I bet I beat you on this hole.” 

Now I’m pausing here as I want some of the members of the league to back me up on this – when have I EVER backed off of a bet on a golf course?  I said to him, “look at you making a bet when you outdrive someone by 75 yards…but I’ll take your bet.  I know how I can hit recovery shots, and I’ve seen how you hit shots from the middle of the fairway.” 

Now in Brady’s defense, I never actually heard him acknowledge me saying – I’ll take that bet.  But he knows I said it, because he continued to talk trash!

What happens after that: Lipgloss hits 3-wood, 6 iron to about 15 feet. 

Brady hits a shot to the left rough.  Then leaves his third shot short of the green.  He hits a chip with about a 15-footer left for par.  Needless to say, he missed that and left himself about a 5-footer for bogey. 

I hit a terrible birdie putt and I have about a 5-footer for par.  We then both agreed to hit our putts at the same time to see what happens….  Mine goes in; his does not.  Kurt with a par and Brady with a double. 

As soon as we left the green Brady starts telling me how I did not take the bet and how he does not owe me $20.  Again, I ask the GCCGL members, when has Lip-Gloss ever passed up a bet on a golf course?  That brings me to my nickname for Brady – Welcher.  According to my google search, a welcher is defined as someone who swindles you by not repaying a debt or a wager. #showmethemoney

New Addition to the Kreyling Family

One last thing on Kreyling Korner this week!  Welcome the newest addition to the Kreyling family – Hank the Bulldog.  He’s 9 weeks old and a bad ass. #hankthetank

Until next week – fairways and greens my friends.