Kreyling Korner – Week 17 – 080918

THE LIP-SMACKER MATCH OF THE WEEK  

A Goldie win and a BT no decision takes my overall record to 8-16.  The standings are close the matches are hot and there is only 3 weeks left.  Let’s get to week #17.

A/B Group – Jason “Cupcake” Nill vs. Nick “Potter” Duer – I know what you are thinking, Lip-Gloss – you just said the standings are close and there are only 3 weeks left in the season!  Why in the hell would you pick a match between two people whose team are irrelevant?  Good point, and I really don’t have a reason for picking these two other than the fact that I live by a few general rules when picking a MOW.  Gather round kids, it’s time for uncle Lip-Gloss to let you in on yet another secret of the GCCGL.  When picking a MOW, two things generally get you tossed automatically.  First, being on my team is usually an automatic disqualification.  The MOW jinx is real, and I don’t eff with it!  Second, if there is a sub playing in a match, they are out.  Although very valuable to the GCCGL, and hard to come by, we all know subs aren’t really people.  After these two factors, I generally try to determine if there is a long rivalry or if the people picked have a chance to win anything.  Of course, the last factor is if I can come up with anything to write about outside of golf and relate it back to the match.  Kind of like what I’m going here with Cupcake and Potter.  Oh yeah, who to pick?  I don’t care these two teams aren’t winning anything in 2018.  I’ll go with Jason since he gets pissed when I put him in the MOW. GLOSSY PREDICTION – Cupcake wins 6.5-3.5.

C/D Group – Andy “Russel” Crowe vs. Matt “The Politician” Bedell –  In an unprecedented trend, Andy “Russel” Crowe has been picked for the MOW a THIRD week in a row.  Crowe represents the first-place team Donkey’s Disciples (330.5 points), Bedell the third-place team Hackstreet Boys (321.5).  A mere 9 points separates these teams and a strong showing from either could bring championship dreams that much closer.  Looking at the 2018 stats we have Bedell 5-5-1 with 57.5 points and Crowe at 4-6-1 with 47.5 points.  The Politician gives up 3 strokes…man this one is hard to call.  I like Crowe, he’s been a hell of an addition to the league, but his record over 2 years gives me no confidence that he can hold up under pressure.  Bedell wins tonight.  GLOSSY PREDICTION – Bedell wins 6-4.

THE KREYLING KORNER

The man pictured above is Jarrod Lyle.  Mr. Lyle was an Australian golfer who had played in 121 PGA Tour Events and had a very promising career.  Unfortunately, Jarrod Lyle passed away yesterday after a lengthy battle with leukemia.  He was 36 years old.  Gentlemen, life is short – have a drink with your friends whenever you can.

Speaking of drinks, let’s see what a particular drink says about your golf game (how’s that for a m f’ing transition).  And of course, lets group the league into each one of the categories.  Boom – we have a list!

1: Beer

What this says about you: You’re an average golfer.  Nothing fancy.  You don’t get fired up about bad shots because you realize you aren’t on the PGA tour.  If you play well great.  If you don’t, you’re still drinking beer.

League Members: Nill, Morell, Kreyling, Rayburn, Roddy, VanPelt

2: Wine

What this says about you: Look at you wine guy…  Spending hours over the wine list making comments like, “I wonder if this tastes anything like the bottle I had in Sonoma” or “oh the only have this bottle aged 12 years.”   You also swirl wine around in your glass when the waiter offers the “sample” and think it matters.  Your golf game is the same – particular, deliberate – or in other words slow.  Chug the glass and speed up the play already.

League Members: Almeida, Livermore, Bedell

3: Bourbon

What this says about you: If you are drinking bourbon, you know what you are doing, and you know what you like.  Most likely you have a specific brand that you can pick out within 30 seconds after scanning the bourbon rack behind the bar.  And, you can order it with confidence.  Your golf game is solid.  You know your strengths and weaknesses and you play a round always putting yourself in a position to score well.

League Members: Turnwald, Duer, Goldenberg, Roller

4: Long Island Iced Tea

What this says about you: Let’s get drunk and let’s get drunk now.  If you order a long island iced tea, you have one goal in mind – not to remember anything.  Much can be said about your golf game.  On a weekly basis, you just want to forget about how you played.

League Members: Miller, Schott, Bachmann, Galindo, Ethridge, Crowe

5: Zima

What this says about you: You want a jolly rancher to go with that?  What is Zima exactly?  It’s not beer; it’s not wine; it’s not liquor.  If you are drinking a Zima, you’re making an excuse.  “I just like one every now because they are refreshing.”  “The only reason I’m drinking this is because my wife bought them and I’m out of beer.”  “Dude, my buddies dared me to drink this – no way I get one on my own.”  Your golf game is also filled with excuses.  “This course is stupid – rough is way to thick.”  “I would have made that putt if there weren’t so many ball marks.”  “This wind has been swirling for every one of my shots today.”

League Members: Tucker, Fusting, Cook, Eiser

Until next week – fairways and greens my friends.­