Kreyling Korner – Week #12 – 07/07/16

THE LIPSMACKER MATCH OF THE WEEK

1-1 in week #12 takes the overall record to 5-10-1. Let’s dive right in – it’s POT LUCK week!

MATCH #1 – Pete “Goldie” Goldenberg vs.  Allen “No-Show” Bloomhuff – Nothing like two old timers squaring off in the GCCGL.  I guess we will begin with Allen.  Not sure exactly what to say about Old Man Cletus because he’s been nonexistent in 2016.  Obviously, he’s up to something…I just cannot figure out what he is trying to do.  I mean, getting subs for the first couple weeks was funny.  But, pretty much each week after that?  At the end of the day, the rest of the league is playing golf, drinking beer and generally sharing in the debauchery that is the GCCGL.  Is finding a sub week in and week out worth the good times to be had for 20 Thursdays of the year?  Now on to Pete – yeah, the poor guy is having a rough season.  His record stands at 1-5-1, and his scores are consistently higher than we have seen in years past.  But like a true champion, Pete shows up each week.  He keeps playing, drinks beer after the round and generally enhances the GCCGL atmosphere.  GLOSSY PREDICTION – I don’t care how rough of a season Pete is having, he’s taking Cletus down tonight.  Karma is a funny thing…but I hope it is going to reward the man who plays each week despite the state of his golf game versus a man who hides behind subs.  I feel so confident about this pick I’m making it my STONE COLD PICK OF THE YEAR!  Pete beats Cletus 6.5 – 3.5.

MATCH #2 – Mike “Big Donkey” Harris vs. Jason “Cupcake” Nill – I know I said I was going to put Jason in each MOW for the rest of the year, and there is a good chance I still will.  But this week, the match-up is actually pretty intriguing.  Overall these two have met 9 times and the record is in Harris’ favor at 6-3.  Tonight, the Big Donkey has to give Cupcake 6 strokes.  Man…I don’t know what to do with this one.  I’m really in a head versus heart struggle here.  My head says to pick Mike, because realistically he is going to win.  He is undefeated on the season, and if that wasn’t enough, I’m pretty sure most of his gross scores have been in the 30s this year.  My heart says to pick Cupcake, not because I like him and he is on my team, more because I want to piss him off.  I can hear him crying already – why did you pick me in the MOW again this week Kurt…it’s your fault I’m going to lose. GLOSSY PREDICTION – like Napoleon Dynamite said to Pedro… “Just follow your heart, that’s what I do.”  Cupcake wins tonight in a nail biter 5.5 to 4.5.  Let’s get this out of the way right now: Jason – regardless if I picked you or not, most likely you are going to lose…don’t blame a loss on the curse of the MOW.

THE KREYLING KORNER

No survey questions this week, which means we are going old school with Kreyling Korner – random thoughts from yours truly. It’s been a while – let’s do some product endorsements!  Ring the bell….school’s in sucker!

Jason Nill – The Flask Tie

He may not be the best golfer in the league, but he definitely is the best drinker in the league. Now Jason is not very formal, so I’m not exactly sure when he would need a tie.  But, when he does, why not make sure he has a flask full of bourbon stashed in it.  All he needs is his wife to match the tie to his outfit….you know, because he is color blind.  BAZINGA!

Justin Seiter – The Companion Pillow

You know what I don’t understand, how a guy with the nickname “Legend” is single? Most likely it’s because he sees us idiots every Thursday.  I mean think about it – we will play golf in a thunderstorm just to get a break from our wives and kids.  Maybe he has life figured out.  However, on those nights when he is lonely and no one will respond on Tinder, he has the companion pillow.

George Almeida – Pacifier

I mean come on – how much is the PW going to complain this year? I’m starting to think our founding father of the GCCGL is quickly becoming the biggest whiner of the GCCGL.  Guys – I have a hernia and can’t play for 8 weeks. Guys – I don’t know what LG is talking about, but I can’t write a blog when the week is rained out.  Guys – I’m sorry this blog is short but LG decided to wait and send out the scoring results the Tuesday following a holiday weekend.  Ignore the fact that he was doing Jason’s co-commissioner duties on top of his own….and I didn’t help at all.  PW, this pacifier is for you!

 
Until next week – fairways and greens my friends.