Kreyling Korner – Week #11 – 06/30/16
THE LIPSMACKER MATCH OF THE WEEK
Two losses in US Open week takes my overall MOW record to 4-9-1. The chances of me maintain a 2016 overall record .500 is dropping faster than a fat kid chasing an ice cream truck. On to week 11!
A/B Group – Adam “Marge Schott” vs. Mitch “Prince Albert” Smith. I think the GCCGL knew this MOW was set back in Week #4. For those that forgot, here is the email exchange:
PRINCE ALBERT: I’d beat you and Tucker left-handed if you two were playing a scramble. Adam — I hope you don’t mistake this for me being the one doing “a lot of talking”.
MARGE: Listen here RANDALL, I don’t care who starts it, when you make these outlandish remarks as come backs, you open yourself up for ridicule. Left handed? You should start with winning a head to head match. Let me guess, “You lost to Tucker” will be your comeback, your right I did, I’m embarrassed by it, but I don’t walk around General Cable like the 2nd coming of Tiger Woods. I’m sure you would like to be cowboys from Arizona or pimps from Oakland but it’s not Halloween. Grow up; Peter Pan, Count Chocula.
This still makes me laugh. Up until this point, I think most of the league thought Adam was a somewhat quiet, laid-back guy. Out of nowhere – Marge drops a Macho Man Randy Savage Flying Elbow Drop from the top rope. I’ve been in the league for 5 years…and this still is the best trash talk I’ve heard. GLOSSY PREDICTION: Just because I love Adam’s email so much, I’m going with the underdog tonight. Adam wins in a tight one 5.5 – 4.5.
A/B Group – Mike “Big Donkey” Harris vs. Joe “Cousin Joe” Cook. But Lipgloss, what about the C/D group MOW? Listen – there are 6 subs tonight and 2 members that agreed to a split. Out of those 8 people, 7 of them are from the C/D Group. There are better match-ups in the A/B groups so deal with it…
Now where were we – oh, the Family Feud – this is a match-up I look forward to each year. Cupcake is out this week, so I have no idea where the overall match-up stands. But if my memory serves me correctly, I’m pretty sure Mike holds a significant edge. What I find interesting this year – Joe is getting four strokes. Again, our statistician is off this week, but I would believe this is the largest stroke differential in the history of the match-up. Joe’s hungry for a win (and complaining about a conspiracy theory that I never put him and his cousin in the same group. Well here is an idea butt munch…you and your cousin should request preferred tee-times closer together. Joe wants 5:16; Mike wants 5:56….you can never make people happy), and the friendly confines of the Pioneer front 9 have to be an advantage for CJ. Mike is the best golfer in the league. GLOSSY PREDICTION: It’s hard to pick against the Big Donkey…and for that reason I will not. Mike wins tonight 6-4.
THE KREYLING KORNER
Seriously – 7 responses to this week’s survey question. 7 Responses! Let that sink in for a little bit GCCGL. We are better than that. Let’s chalk up the low response rate to the summer vacation schedule and the 4th of July holiday next week. I have full confidence the league will respond better in week 12 (at least I hope).
This week Captain Cupcake asked what unknown/special talent each GCCGL members have. Below are the best responses:
George Almeida – Hola Hoop Champ
Troy Bachmann – He’s an incredible actor…played the bear in the Revenant to perfection.
Allen Bloomhuff – Wheelchair Olympian
Seth Brooks – Looking for a co-op position with General Cable again.
Joe Carrier – Is a closet Yankee fan.
Joe Cook – Was aiming at Tucker the whole time.
Nick Duer – Is the president of the Bill Belichick fan club.
Mike Harris – In a 12 year secret bromance with Ollie.
Kurt Kreyling – Absorbs all blame that Nill sheds off and makes it a joke.
Jason Nill – Lifelong ambition to open Cupcake’s Cupcakes after his GCC career.
John Rayburn – Badminton
John Schemmel – Tinder expert
Justin Seiter – Petitioned to have his first name legally changed to Dickens.
Mike Tucker – Anyone want to buy a Volkey wedge?
A couple other things to point out in this week’s Kreyling Korner. First, George was voted the co-commissioner most people would miss while on vacation. No surprises there, but I ask this question. What does George suddenly have to do each Thursday night now that he is recovering from hernia surgery? He comes out one night, rides around in a cart, and openly admits he has a blast. Since then, completely absent. I get he can’t play golf, but you can’t convince me he now has more “important” things to do on Thursday nights. His kids are older – they don’t want to hang out with him. Hang out with the wife – don’t you get enough of that outside of the 20 evenings during the year? Plus – they have been married for a long time – I’m sure she enjoys the break.
The only other person receiving a vote in this poll was the Glossy One. How you like that Cupcake – you received 0 votes.
Finally, there was another anonymous comment about an option for a weekly skins game. As the co-commissioner’s office has said before – this is a great idea. The GCCGL members are free to organize and track a skins game on a weekly basis.
Until next week – fairways and greens my friends.
