June 7, 2012 Update

[dc]A[/dc]nother beautiful day! We had near perfect attendance (23 of 24 golfers). We actually teed off early and finished with plenty of daylight! All around, a great night of golf.

After a long absence, the “Gallery” shot has returned! Co-commissioner Cupcake hit one a little errant right of the green and paid the price. The poor sap never had a chance of keeping this one on the green. Where’s the decorum, the golf etiquette, the dignity? I don’t know but I can tell you where it’s not, the GCCGL and I think we are all OK with that. Here is the moment captured on video. Unfortunately Number 2 doesn’t know how to use his phone so it is sideways BUT, still hilarious. There may have been a little editing that went on but I can neither confirm or deny that.

Here’s a cute story. On hole number 3, the up hill Par 3 hole that everyone hates, Syndrome’s foursome is on the tee. Now, where ever there is water, even if it isn’t really in play, somehow, someway, Syndrome will usually find it. So he’s already psyching himself out by the time he addresses his ball on the tee. “Don’t hit the water, don’t hit the water, don’t hit the ****** water”. He swings! It doesn’t hit the water, it doesn’t hit anything! Syndrome was so preoccupied with not hitting the water, he swung  the club maintaining an integrative center resulting in an outer centrifugal force creating a virtual vortex of wind and centripetal velocity such as to nudge the ball off the tee. It’s basic physics really. Well, he laughs it off, picks up the ball, places it back on the tee and gives it another shot. Long story short, he makes a 4 (bogey) on the hole as does his opponent Kreyling. As they are walking off the green, the scores are relayed out loud, Kreyling also takes a 4. As Kreyling begins to record the score, he looks at Syndrome and says, “Even counting the missed stroke?” It was at this time that Syndrome performed his imitation of Linda Blair in the Exorcist, complete with the 360 degree turn of the head, eyes bugging out of the sockets about 2 – 3 inches and of course the profanity. Kreyling, rethinks his previous query and says, “Yea, you’re right, it was a 4”.

Who is Jeff Rozell? That was the question everyone was asking after this sub, who actually was a sub last season, shot even par this week against The Politician. Let me introduce you to Jeff Rozell. Jeff is a fellow native New Yorker and NY Mets fan such as myself. As most of you know, there aren’t that many of us around these parts. I’m talking about  Mets fans. Anyway, he loves listening to classic rock music,  playing chess in the park, and long walks on the beach with his Yorkie (Mookie). Just kidding, what do I know? Once thing I do know, the man can play golf. My prediction is he’ll be in high demand for sub duties. I suspect his phone will be ringing off the hook after this performance. Jeff’s number is listed in the subs list. Please TEXT him or call his phone for future sub requests. Please avoid email as he does not check that as often.

Once again, I was caught in an uncompromising position and Cletus was right there with the camera phone. I curse the person who invented the camera phone! This happened last week. I really didn’t have but a couple of feet to manuever around that wooden beaver. It would have to be a beaver, wouldn’t it? As if I wasn’t humiliated enough by Cletus’ spankin’ (7.5 – 2.5), there are now pictures of me being violated by a wooden mammal.

The Pot Luck was a huge success once again. The team matches were very close this week as things continue to tighten. The big winners this week were UMass Debate Team, who stole 23 points and moved within 1.75 points of first place. They were led by Goldie who squeezed out 8 points. The next biggest winner was Never Question an 8! who managed 21 points. They were led by Couzin’ Joe and Silent H (that’s your new nick name Mike, get used to it) who both grabbed 6.5 points. Rounding up the top three was AMDB who won 20.5 points and are hanging on by a Cletus nose hair to first place.

We’d like to leave you with a golf poem that exemplifies the pain, agony and joy this wonderful game of golf brings to all of us. After very difficult times on the course a couple of weeks ago and getting some ink on the blog regarding the need for some anger management, Brad Cunningham and Peter Goldenberg got together over some fine wine and appetizers and hashed out this lovely golf poem. Enjoy.

The winners of the low net were Jeff Rozell (A/B), who shot even par and had a low net of 30! Melissa Cember and George Almeida (C/D) won low net with a net score of 31! Congratulations to the winners! We move to the back nine of the Pioneer for the next two weeks. Hope to see you there and as always hit ’em straight!

George Almeida – GCCGL Co-Commissioner

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