2014 – Week 2

The weather held up for the second week of the GCCGL season and the first match play of the year. Despite what has been referred to as “British Open” conditions, we had a perfect turnout thanks to four substitutes, Jennifer Dominik, Zach McNeil, and newcomers Brian Roddy and Adam Schott. Thanks everyone!

I wasn’t there this past Thursday so everything from hereon out is hearsay. In other words, don’t shoot the messenger! We tee’d off on time or maybe even a little early, nice job Lip Gloss! It was country club golfing at its best with 25-30 minute spacing between foursomes! No one in front of you and no one behind you. Just you, your thoughts and the faint aroma of Grecian Formula 16 for Men. No one could pinpoint the source, but it was there.

For some reason, Gobstopper took a lot of heat last night. Maybe it was because he was wearing shorts, a short sleeve shirt and a skull cap in 54 degree weather. I cannot believe no one took a picture. Must I do everything?! As usual, the boisterous gallery had plenty to say about the matter. I’m paraphrasing here but there were comments about him looking like a Beverly Hills ninja (I don’t get it, but then again, I’m a little slow on the uptake). A suggestion was made to slap a diaper on the big boy and have everyone take turns sumo wrestling him on the last green to earn the final point. I smell a new special event for 2015. He looked like a cross between John Daly and Notorious B.I.G. with a hint of Buffy the Human Beat Box. That’s OK because Gobstopper is quickly earning the reputation for “wittiest gallery commentator”. As Big Ed Petryk labored up the hill off the ninth green, he looked up and asked, “Why is everyone staring at me?” To which Troy responded, “Because we rarely get to see you”. For you newcomers to the league, that’s funny because Big Ed has a reputation for “not so stellar” GCCGL attendance. It’s not his fault, the man works, has a family and travels a lot but it doesn’t take much in this league. No sir. The gallery can get a bit raucous, especially when the first couple of groups have been waiting for 30 – 45 minutes. By the time the last few groups approach the last green, it’s like Amateur Night at the Apollo Theater. The only difference is instead of Sandman the Hobo forcibly removing you off stage with his cane, you have the likes of Syndrome, Gobstopper and the rest of the liquored up gallery, yelling, laughing and ready to pounce on anything that moves…..or breathes. Tough crowd. If you ever see me way in the back, quietly sipping my draft and trying not to move it’s not because I’m being unsociable, it’s because I don’t want to be the next victim! I’m a walking smorgasbord of material….I’m short, bald and have been “working” on my golf swing for 23 years! The only reason I haven’t been reduced to burying myself in one of the sand traps, curled up in the fetal position, sucking my thumb is because I have the power of the “pen”. I produce this blog.

The big winners this week were Schmuck Dynasty who demolished Balls and Dolls (27 – 13). They were led by Chris “#2” Meyer who earned 7.5 points. Das Boots Are Made for Golfing defeated Morning Wood (22 – 18). They were led by Silent H, Snoodles and Eiser (what’s Joe’s nickname again?) who all had 6.5 points each. Finally, the Putt Pirates won their match (22 – 18) over Carrier to the Hole and Duer. They were led by co-commissioner Cupcake who stole 7 points.

Winners of the low net prizes were Danny Roller (A/B) who finished with a low net of 34 despite hitting three tee shots for a total of 115 yards. That’s including one in the “drink” on #4. Chris Meyer and Matt McLinn (C/D) finished with a low net 37. Gibb accomplished this despite the gallery mercilessly counting his practice strokes before his approach shot on the ninth green. He took 5 practice strokes for those of you counting. League reporters looked for captain Big Donkey for his reaction to this unspeakable breach of etiquette but he was nowhere to be found. He was rumored to have been seen letting the air out of Roller’s tires, but like I said, it’s all hearsay.

We continue match play on the front nine of the Willows. Let’s try and make it three weeks in a row with perfect attendance. We hope to see you on the golf course and as always, hit ’em straight!

George Almeida – GCCGL founder and co-commissioner