2023 – Week 3
How about the Kreyling Korner this week, huh? Lip Gloss was en fuego! That means “on fire” for all you culturally deprived meatheads. I gotta admit, I love me a good KK blog post. Sure LG gave me some shit about a couple of things but that’s OK. This just reinforces that my master plan is right on schedule. Everyone knows that PW has been pulling back from his GCCGL commissioner responsibilities for quite some time now. Cupcake and Lip Gloss pretty much handle everything except the GCCGL blog and website administrative duties. I cut back significantly on my blog posts last season and now it is only natural to continue building on this momentum by neglecting my attendance. Soon, PW will be invisible, forgotten and vanished from the GCCGL like a fart in the wind. #Free@Last! KK loves his #hashtags doesn’t he? Are they even relevant anymore? I wouldn’t know, I don’t have an Instagram, Twitter or the TikTok.
Below is an excerpt from the last Kreyling Korner blog post:
George graced the league with his appearance for the Florida Scramble, had a sub in week 2, a sub this week, and plans on having subs in weeks 4 and 5. That’s a whopping attendance percentage of 20% through the first 5 weeks of the season. We ask full time members to maintain a 70% attendance record. That means, George has to show up 13 of the final 15 weeks of the season to hit the 70% attendance mark. I’m not a betting man, but if I was – I’d take the under on those 13 appearances through the final 15 weeks. #dobetterPW
I have to point out a couple of things the LG got wrong, (1) the attendance mark is 69% not 70% and (2) I’m only missing 3 of the first 5 weeks not 4 of 5. #KKornerIsFakeNews. With that said, my advise is to TAKE THE UNDER!
I knew there was a reason I like Danny “Snoodles” Roller. As you all now know due to this week’s scintillating and provocative Kreyling Korner post, Snoodles uses Kirkland golf balls. So does PW! Snoodles and I are Ball Buddies! I love those balls. I like to clean my balls after every round, do you Snoodles? They get a little dirty after rolling around in the grass for a few hours. I usually dip them in a warm, soapy tub of water and let them air dry. The secret is to add just a drop of moisturizer in the tub. This softens my balls so that they stick to the target. This could mean the difference of a couple of strokes during play. And I don’t have to tell you all, a couple of strokes can mean all the difference in the world. Snoodles, I can show you my technique if you are interested.
Shame on you KK for poking fun at Snoodles for using Kirkland golf balls! Just because you choose to pay 2-3 times more money for golf balls, doesn’t mean you can put our kind down. #LGisAGolfSnob
Let’s wrap this up. The GCCGL finally achieved our first week of 100% attendance thanks to 3 subs. THAT’S what I’m talking about subs! Keep it up! The level of play has been subpar to say the least. For the 2nd week in a row, 83% of the league is over par on a net basis (2 pars, 2 under par (low net winners) and 20 over par). Grainger achieved his first par in the league! On the 2nd par 3 he hit a 3 wood (yes a 3 wood) off the tee. Went long over the green, chipped up to 4 or 5 feet and knocked in the putt. OK, so he followed it up with a 10, 7 and 10, so what. Baby steps…..
The big winners this week were Meat Balls (again) who obliterated Dude Where’s My Par? (26.5-13.5). They were led by Jason Winkler who nabbed 7.5 points. Courtesy Tap-Ins bounced back by defeating Crowe Dog Millionaires (24-16). They were led by Big Donkey who took 7.5 points. Harris was one of three subs for Courtesy Tap-Ins. I smell a winning formula for team Courtesy Tap-Ins. Just get subs to fill in every week. The low-net winners were Gosney (A/B) with a low net 35 and Tally (C/D) with a low net 35. Great rounds gentlemen. Congratulations! We continue match play with a twist. It is Pot Luck this week. We hope to see you on the course and as always, hit ’em straight! #SeeUNextWeekBitches!
One last thing, anyone else think this week’s blog post image looks a little like Kreyling? I used Microsoft’s Bing Image Creator (AI) and typed in “Funny cartoonish tall bald man in a bad birdie golf shirt and shorts with a beard losing money“. The “losing money” part is because he’s betting against PW. This is the image it came up with! Just so you all know I am NOT making this up, here is the print screen from Image Creator.
The Portuguese Warrior – GCCGL co-commissioner
