2023 – Week 20
What a season! That was a quick 20 weeks! Congratulations to the 2023 GCCGL Champions, Return of The Cletus.
So much for Artificial Intelligence picking the 2023 GCCGL winner in the Opening Tee blog post back in April. Not only did AI wildly misfire on picking the last place Crowe Dog Millionaires to finish first, the robot was WAY OFF on its prediction of the Points and Winning PCT champions! So much for technology. Next season, we go back to PW making his preseason picks as long as Lip Gloss gets his shit together and doesn’t hold the draft the week before the league starts!
It was a busy season as usual. It started off with the match of all matches, Cletus vs Diabetes on week 2? I wish I could forget it but unfortunately I can’t! It was like watching two old walruses trying to establish dominance. Here’s a fun fact, did you know that male walruses defend a large harem of females and will fight with other males to maintain dominance and access to their harem. However, there are some males that are smaller and wiser and therefore will mimic female walruses, hiding among them and occasionally mating with them. That totally seems like a Cletus move. Can you imagine a Cletus walrus posing as a female walrus just so he can get some action? Man, Cletus would be one ugly female walrus. This is a brilliant strategy for the smaller Cletus walrus until the bigger Syndrome walrus stumbles onto the Cletus walrus’ rocky slope in the middle of the night after a bender and snuggles up to the smaller Cletus walrus. Yikes! Not that there’s anything wrong with that….
Once again, the GCCGL and KCGC golf jockeys butted heads several times throughout the year. We learned that Cupcake is still a cheap ass and that if you don’t have anything nice to say, then just talk about Ollie. PW’s first real test as new weather Czar was a huge success! And who can forget KK’s KK’s vein popping rant about the location of the annual GCCGL PGA Event! Classic Lip Gloss.
We also learned that a longboard is just a souped-up up skateboard with reinforced shocks and increased weight capacity limits. Also, playing the CARD is about as much fun as a prostate exam and that a retired Cletus is even more of a pain in the ass than a working Cletus. Let’s be honest though, did a “working” Cletus really accomplish that much more than a retired Cletus? The jury is out on that one.
Once again, congratulations to Return of the Cletus, Danny Roller, Brian Roddy, Allen Bloomhuff and George Welling, the 2023 GCCGL Champions! You know, without a doubt, Lip Gloss is popping a vein right about now. He has been in the GCCGL for 13 years and has 1 GCCGL Championship to his name. Then comes along, rookie George Welling and he achieves this monumental life accomplishment in 1 year. This must be embarrassing for old KK. He’s not getting any younger these days and the more time that passes each year without another coveted GCCGL Championship, the more everyone will start to wonder if it will be another 13 years before KK holds his next GCCGL trophy. #playbetterkk!
Trophies will be ordered in the coming weeks and the GCCGL Awards Luncheon will be scheduled shortly.
It truly was a pleasure running this league and hanging out with all of you the past 20+ weeks. A BIG, HUGE thanks to Cupcake and LG. I really can’t thank them enough. As everyone knows, outside of the website and some administrative duties, PW doesn’t do much regarding the GCCGL these days. Those two guys do ALL the heavy lifting during the golf league season. Soon, I will eventually pass the baton to the younger generation and retire from my co-commissioner duties. I’ll settle back, become a sub and complain every week about how the GCCGL should be doing this or that. I can’t wait. But until then, you are stuck with me. It really is a lot of work with little reward. Our only payment comes in the smiles on the faces of our GCCGL members. Just knowing that we are bringing joy to all of you every Thursday evening for 20 weeks each Spring and Summer is enough for us. (insert a gagging old Portuguese man here). We hope to see everyone again next year for the official 29th season of the best damn golf league this side of the Mississippi.
The Portuguese Warrior – GCCGL co-commissioner
