2020 – Week Three

It’s only week 3 in the GCCGL and we’ve already had our first change in the standings! That might be the earliest that has ever happened. The 2020 “sleeper team” of the season, Dixon Plainview, took over first place from slumping Quid Pro Crowe. Going into week 4, less than 10 points separate the top 4 teams, and then there’s Cupcake Exotics only 16.5 points behind. I’m telling you now, don’t count this team out just yet. They are still the favorites to win the GCCGL championship and we still have plenty of golf left!

Once again, we had perfect attendance thanks to super-sub Jason “Teen Wolf” Kramer. If there was ever a year that we would have perfect attendance throughout the whole year, it would be this year. What else is there to do? The company travel ban will most likely extend until the remainder of the year with very few exceptions and we have plenty of subs who are eager to step in and show us what they got!

It was another quiet week in the GCCGL with not much to blog about but how nice was it to see things getting back to normal? There was even a post-round gathering at Barleycorn’s with a big crowd of 8 folks! I try to attend these Barleycorn’s get-togethers every once in a while if only to get some blog fodder and although I did not attend, it seems that a new nickname has emerged from this week’s session. We’ve been searching for a nickname for Bill Nixon for quite some time and one has finally emerged, Patient Zero. I’ll give you two guesses who texted me that nickname from Barleycorn’s.

My foursome of Cupcake, Cap, Ollie and PW was a little weird if I’m being honest. It started on hole 12 after we all teed off. We quickly found everyone’s ball and were looking for Cap’s drive. He was right in the vicinity as Cupcake and PW. As we were looking through the ridiculously thick rough, CC comes upon a ball and shouts out to Cap, “What are you hitting?” Here’s the rest of the exchange.

Cap: “A Titleist”
CC: “What?”
PW: “A TITLELEIST!”
CC: “What kind?”
Cap: “Titleist 2”
CC: “Does it have truffle on it?”
PW/Cap: “WTF…it’s a Titleist 2!”
CC: “Is it a truffle?”
PW/CAP: “Jeez..what the hell are you talking about?! Is it a Titleist 2 or not?”
CC: “Yes, but it has truffle on it”
PW: “Who gives a sh*t. It’s a Titleist 2. Let the kid hit his ball!”

That was 60 seconds that we’d never get back again. Not sure when CC suddenly decided to be the golf ball police. We found out later that Cap’s ball that he was playing was a Titleist 2 “True Feel”. Ugh. Then on hole #18, PW hits his drive with his patented fruity fade just off the fairway close to the lone tree about 130 yards from the green. I made a comment, “Ooh, right by the tree”.

Cap: “It’s past the tree”.
PW: “No, I think it is in front of the tree”.
A few seconds go by after CC and Cap look at each other with this confused look on their faces.
CC: “Isn’t “past the tree” the same thing as “in front of the tree?”
PW: “I didn’t realize that until you just said it. I’m checking myself into the emergency room after the round”.

What the hell is wrong with me? Maybe it was the shellacking I was taking for the second week in a row. Maybe it was the three Ibuprofen I took before the round. Or maybe I was just having a stroke. I don’t know.

Finally, as if those two exchanges wasn’t weird enough, we were subjected to a new phenomenon this week that we like to call the “Grumpy Old Grunt”. As everyone knows, the older you get, the more distance you lose on your golf shots, especially your drives. It is one of the main reasons for Cletus’ retirement from full-time member to sub. The same goes for Ollie. Ollie was giving it his all this past week and started grunting after every tee shot. This is the kind of thing that is hard to describe but luckily I don’t have to because CC captured it on camera. It reminded us of the famous women’s tennis star, Maria Sharapova. God bless Ollie. At least he didn’t retire from the league.

After watching this video, I wound up asking myself, “Why  in the hell did I ever stop watching women’s’ tennis?”

The BIG winners this week were China Virus who nabbed 22.5 points! They were led by Swiper who both took 7.5 points. Swiper also crushed the Versus The League going 17-0-2! World Handicap or not, the kid is going to feast on that bloated HC this season. Dixon Plainview and Cupcake Exotics both had 21 points each. They were led by Cap and Cupcake respectively with each grabbing 7 points.

The low net winners were (A/B) Potter with a low net 34 and (C/D) Swiper with a low net 33. Congratulations to the winners! This week is the Pot Luck Match Play event. Normally we all select names from a hat to decide who we are playing against but COVID-19 is going to make that impossible this season. Therefore, co-commissioner Cupcake will send out special instructions to everyone later in the week. Finally, it seems we have a block of time before our 5:16 tee time so let’s try and take advantage of that. If the first couple of groups get there early, please feel free to tee off early! We play on the Willows front this week. The schedule is set! I hope to see you on the course and as always, hit ‘em straight!

PW – GCCGL co–commissioner