2019 – Opening Tee

The start of the 24th season of the GCCGL is almost here! Although “league play” doesn’t official start until 4/18, the two-week preseason begins on 4/4/18. That is a change from my last email. So, if you want to get in a couple of practice rounds, please join us on Thursday, April 4th for the first of two practice rounds. New members are recommended to come out to get a couple of scores in to help calculate your handicap.  Now for everyone’s favorite blog post of the year, the annual GCCGL championship predictions. 

I’d Tap That (1)	Everyone knows that Lip Gloss has been chasing his first GCCGL championship since he joined the league without much success. His team fell short by 4.5 points and he went into a deep depression. He’s reunited with Cupcake, who incidentally last year propelled his team into last place. This could literally be Kreyling’s last shot at a championship. A lot of people don’t know this about LG but he’s very fragile and overly sensitive in a ……girly-man kind of way.  He went all out and drafted last year’s Points Champion, Captain Obvious as well as Gobstopper. If this loaded team doesn’t win it this year, then it’s time for LG’s favorite activity in the world……..looking in the mirror. That won’t be too hard, he always carries a compact around in his golf bag.
Gout My Fairway (2)	Das Boot and Snoodles are back together after winning the 2018 GCCGL championship. This team looks pretty good on paper, but then again so did communism. Between all of them, they have 10 championship trophies collecting dust. If that wasn’t enough, they steal Syndrome in the 3rd round and then add some youth in Captain Hairy. This team has all three pillars of success to go all the way, TALENT, EXPERIENCE and GIRTH…. mostly girth.
Wrath of Serkan (3)	Potter had to negotiate his way back into the league after learning that he was not moving to Milan at the last minute. Potter is a stats man. He has all kinds of stats and information about this crazy league, about every player, their weaknesses, their strengths, their mother’s maiden names. He’s got it all. But it hasn’t parlayed into a championship after 10 seasons. But could this be the year? This is a veteran team who knows how to navigate the very REAL and COMPLEX “league effect”. Potter took a flyer on the new kid, Serkan Freeman which could bring Potter his first piece of hardware in over a decade.
Not So Perfect Attendance (4)	This team is tough to figure out. On one hand you got Couzin’ Joe coming off a big year and Mike “Meat” Morell. Add The Politician, who’s always a tough match and you might have something brewing. But then there’s El Hefe. He’s the wildcard. I can see this thing crumbling quickly after El Hefe fails to show up (and no sub) for the first couple of times. If you haven’t noticed, CJ can get a little intense with this league sometimes. He wants to win so badly and demands a lot from his team. Will this motivate them or piss them off? I’m going with the latter. Either way, it should make for some prime entertainment.
Bermuda Knights (5)	The last time The Senator and Han Solo got together, they produced the most pathetic GCCGL team in the history of the league, Birdies, Eagles and a Crowe back in 2017. This team set a new measurement of mediocrity that will most likely never be surpassed in our lifetime. Newcomer, Bill Nixon is steady but inaugural years have traditionally not been kind to GCCGL members, except for Brian “Scratch” Turnwald. That kid is a freak on the golf course. It’s true they have Swiper. He had a big year last year but his handicap is going down and let’s face it, he’ll have to swipe a WHOLE LOT OF BALLS to help this team stay out of the cellar this season.

So there you have it. Take it to the bank! By the way, weather permitting, our first practice round is THIS THURSDAY, April 5th!  This is a change from my last email. If you can make it to the course this Thursday, then get out there. We will tee off on the back of the Pioneer starting at 5:16pm. The schedule is yet to be set for the regular season. Good luck to everyone!

The Portuguese Warrior – GCCGL co-commissioner