Scratch & Tiff
Preface (06/13/14)
Mmmm……there’s nothing like the smell of controversy in the morning. It was a relatively quiet and controversy-free season until week 8 of the 2014 GCCGL. Unfortunately for Snoodles, he found himself entangled in a web of deceit and hijinks that put Watergate to shame.
Week 8 is official and it could turn out to be a pivotal week in the 2014 GCCGL season! We had another perfect turnout thanks to 7 subs! We had several last second substitutions in order to put forth a full slate. A big thanks to Hausfeld, Turnwald, Verst, Smith, Roettker, Roddy and Brooks.
Before I begin, it was a very controversial week and everything you are about to read came from league members and some hearsay. It is longer than I wanted it to be but I had to be fair to all the parties involved. I was not in attendance this week so please, don’t shoot the messenger! As we approach the summer weeks, subs will be at a premium. We seemed to be a couple of subs short this week before it started raining co-ops. Speaking of co-ops, you gotta love them, don’t ya? Co-ops are great for three things; cheap labor, picking up your dry cleaning and last second substitutions in the GCCGL. Team Morning Wood was almost left with having to play without two players this week after trying to get subs for two of their no-shows (Seiter and Petryk). MW captain, Big Donkey, was just about to give up when a chance meeting around the cafeteria coffee pot turned this seemingly friendly, non-controversial, fun-loving golf league upside down. As word of the sub shortage spread throughout the building, co-ops started popping up like vermin in a whac-a-mole amusement park game. It turns out that there was this co-op that knew this other co-op that had a friend that worked with another co-op who would probably be available to sub. Introducing, Brian “Scratch” Turnwald. Somehow, between GCCGL officials and Brian, they came up with a handicap of 7.
Scratch was matched up against Snoodles. Nine times out of ten, when a new sub plays for the first time, they normally always shoot over their handicap, except for good old “Scratch”. He made the Pioneer look like a Par 3 executive course and shot an impressive 37. However, Snoodles wasn’t impressed. In fact, he was downright angry. As Snoodles and his group were walking up to the last green, he kept yelling to the gallery over and over, “This guy isn’t a 7….this guy isn’t a 7….”. To be fair, GCCGL rules state that all new participants’ HC are recalculated after each round until 5 scores are submitted or posted. After re-calculation, Turnwald’s HC went down to a 3. It was still enough to beat Snoodles (7-3). Snoodles was livid. He couldn’t understand how one minute there isn’t a sub to be found and the next minute appear all these magical subs. As of week 8, Snoodles isn’t a big fan of GCCGL subs since his team took a serious beating from the likes of three subs and McLinn. This should be the end of this story, but it’s not. This is where the story takes a turn for the worst.
Apparently, according to information leaked to the commissioner’s office Friday morning, Snoodles, wasn’t supposed to even play this week due to a scheduling conflict. This was great news for team Morning Wood’s captain, Mike Harris, since he was struggling mightily to find subs. Roller approached Harris and Harris suggested that he split the points with Petryk since he couldn’t find a sub for Big Ed. Roller agreed. But then on Thursday afternoon around lunch time Roller approached Harris and says my schedule has freed up so I’m playing tonight to which Harris replies, what? We agreed to a split. And Snoodles says no, we discussed it, but never really agreed to it.  OH NO HE DIDN”T! Harris was Snoodled! So now, Harris goes looking for a sub again with no luck. But as luck would have it, the league had 2 people approach the league office to play and around 3:30pm, Thursday evening less than two hours before tee time. So the spots were filled and Harris’ team ends up getting 26 points. That, right there, is what we call KARMA! But hold on there…..this isn’t the whole story according to Snoodles.
In an exclusive, late night interview with Roller that can only be seen here on the GCCGL blog, the story takes a turn for the worst  rearing the ugly head of controversy once again. And I thought we were going to have a nice, uneventful season free of shenanigans. Not a chance. Anyway, according to Roller, he “tentatively” agreed to a split but stated that he’d get back to Harris later that afternoon as there was still a chance that he could wind up playing.  Fortunately for Roller, he found out around 9-10 pm Wednesday evening that his schedule opened up and he was able to play, but unfortunately a busy morning the next day (Thursday) at the office kept him from notifying Harris until noon.  Admittedly, that was poor judgement on Roller’s part. An honest oversight or calculated move? I’ve known Danny for a long time and I’m pretty sure there was no hidden deception at work but just an honest oversight. Yes, he wants to win the GCCGL championship very bad, but not that bad. But believe it or not, this isn’t the most controversial part of the story. Once again, according to Roller, there was an all out effort made by the commissioner’s office to assist Harris in finding subs so that his team would at the very least be competitive against the first place team. Once again, according to Roller, a co-commissioner was heard saying, “we will scour the building to find a sub to play the first place team“. The co-commissioner in question was Lipgloss. The way I understood it was that the subs came to the league, the league did not seek out the subs. To be fair, I have not gotten LG’s version and even if I did, I don’t have the time to write it and you don’t have the time to read it!
Again, I can not confirm or deny any of this since I was not there. However, as one of the co-commissioners of this league, I can state that the league officially does not condone league officials personally recruiting substitutes and matching them up against other teams due to the inherent corruption that can occur through this type of interference. The league took a stand starting last season after the retirement of former co-commissioner Cletus who found himself engulfed in controversy on a weekly basis as he used subs as pawns in his little game of GCCGL chess finding and pairing subs in matches. It is up to the teams to find their own subs and decide who they will be matched against. A full internal league investigation is ongoing…………not really…
Despite all this, we did manage to get some golf in. There was a major shift in the standings this week. The big winners as you already know were Morning Wood who used three subs and McLinn to crush the first place Das Boots are Made for Golfing (26 – 14). They were led my Matt McLinn who grabbed 8 points. Schmuck Dynasty defeated Balls and Dolls (24 – 16). They were led by Chris Meyer who managed 7.5 points. In a great match, the Putt Pirates squeaked by Carrier to the Hole and Duer (20.5 – 19.5). They were led by Kurt Kreyling who won 6.5 points. The top five teams are separated by less than 9 points! There’s been some talk of dumping July 3rd all together since many folks are planning to be out of town. Here’s the problem with that:
1. Not everyone will be out of town
2. We have 45+ subs to call upon
3. July 3rd is an actual WORK DAY, not a holiday
4. We signed a league agreement to play 18 weeks and must honor that agreement
5. …and finally, this should provide a ton of controversy that can only provide top notch entertainment and blog material
Therefore, the schedule is set and we are playing on July 3rd unless the course is closed to league play which I believe it is not. Also, check out the photo album, several more photos and gallery shots, none funnier than the Roettker shot. Here’s why…. Hausfeld was also a victim of the gallery right around the same time. Everyone was gathered around Hausfeld and as soon as Hausfeld hit, Ryan ran up to hit his ball before the gallery could congregate, but Chris Meyer (#2) stood in front of the ball so he couldn’t hit until the gallery had a chance to gather around his ball. Nice try kid! Great move Meyer! Too funny! We have several new subs who’ve joined the GCCGL. Welcome to Brian Turnwald, Tyler Verst, Bryan Scavo, Ryan Roettker and all the way from Spain, Victor Frances. Victor is the husband of Cristina Llop who has joined GCC North America for a long term assignment.
The winners of the low net were, Joe Cook (A/B) with a low net of 30! And Matt McLinn (C/D) with a low net of 33. Great rounds and congratulations. We move to the Pioneer back 9 for the next two weeks. We hope to see you on the course and as always, hit ’em straight!
George Almeida – GCCGL founder and co-commissioner
