Runaway Cart
Preface (08/22/15)
This was truly a GCCGL classic complete with some great golf, a touching speech and an epic golf cart incident.
There was a lot going on this week including match play with the top three teams jockeying for position heading into the final Best Ball Scramble next week. Unexpected awards and speeches, plenty of cold pitchers of libations compliments of the first group (Lip Gloss, Golf Witch, Prince Albert and Snoodles). Great collection of nicknames in that foursome. We even had a cart “incident” which may or may not have had anything to do with the abundance of pitchers.
Syndrome gave a touching speech as he presented Ollie, who was a good sport about the whole thing, with the coveted GCCGL “Best Hair” award for the 2015 season and poured a glass of a cheap white chardonnay. I was able to capture this tender moment but unfortunately I totally ruined it by laughing like a demented Portuguese hyena through the whole thing. Sorry about that. I’m pretty sure the consumption of libations had something to do with it. I’m such a wuss!
As I stated earlier, there was an incident and of course it involved Syndrome. To those who were not there and did not witness this incident, let me just preface this by stating that there is no possible way that I can give that moment the justice it deserves. The whole thing was so funny, I found myself still laughing about it driving home Friday night. I’ll do my best to paint the picture for you. All the teams had already finished and several carts were parked along the cart path at the top of the 9th green of the Willows. One cart (Syndrome and the Portuguese Warrior’s) was parked facing the wrong direction because we went to get beer earlier. Syndrome decided that he wanted to put away his clubs, throw on his flip flops and come back down and rejoin the crowd. So he gets in the cart, turns the wheel all the way to the left and floors it. As he’s three quarters of the way through his 360 degree turn, all of a sudden he notices Bleaker standing there, frozen like a deer in headlights, right in front of him. He’s got a split second to decide between running over Bleaker and mounting his head over his fireplace or OPTION #2. He chose option # 2. He veers all the way left in order to avoid Bleaker, completing the 360 degree turn while keeping his foot plastered to the pedal. The only problem with this is that there wasn’t enough room to perform this Evil Knievel maneuver so the cart slams into the cart path curb. The force takes the cart and Syndrome over the curb, which coincidentally, is there to specifically protect carts from careening down the steep embankment towards the nicely manicured 9th green. The loud noise of the cart crashing into the cement curb is what made everyone turn around to see what all the commotion was about. Up to this point, only Syndrome and Bleaker knew what was going on. The cart continues over the curb and begins to steamroll out of control down the hill. You’ve heard the term, “a captain always does down with his ship”? That really didn’t apply here. He jumped off that cart faster than an Italian Captain off a sinking cruise ship. It wasn’t as much as a “jump” as it was a “dive”. He pulled a Pete Rose and dove head first and landed flat on his belly, hands out and legs spread. I’m not 100% positive but I think the right back tire ran over his left hand as it continued its travels toward the 9th green. Syndrome, to his credit, jumps up to his feet (he’s a spry one for a 50+ year old) and watches hopelessly as the cart continued to spiral towards the green. Then, all of a sudden, he gets this “oh s**t” look on his face as he and everyone else realizes the cart is heading straight for the green. Not good, especially considering Syndrome’s rocky relationship with the cart jockeys. I’m not saying the cart guys hate Syndrome but the last time Syndrome rented a cart at that course, he found a flaming bag of dog poo on the driver’s seat. Anyway, aching knees and all, he kicks it into high gear and starts running after the cart. I didn’t know that 50 years of cheeseburgers and cheap beer could move like that. Syndrome can move baby! This is all happening within a matter of seconds which is why there is no video evidence of this entire episode. The best thing we have is a short clip of what it looked like and the picture below of Syndrome quickly driving the cart off the forbidden area before the cart police caught him and ban him from the golf course forever. Thanks for the pic Radio! So there you have it. Another classic GCCGL moment for the history books.
Click for larger view
All three team matches were extremely close so there was hardly any movement in the standings. Daddy Day Care took care of business and narrowly defeated The Big Bang Theory (21 – 19). They were led by Cletus and Bleaker who both scored 6.5 points each. The Massholes continued their winning ways and beat the first place Offensive Line (20.5 – 19.5). They were led by the Portuguese Warrior who got lucky and stole 8 points. The Massholes completed their goal of becoming the 2015 GCCGL Team Match Play Champions which means absolutely nothing! Meanwhile, Back in Black squeaked by Roller and Duer Again also by the score of (20.5 – 19.5). They were led by Ollie who grabbed 7.5 points against the card.
2015 was the year of the George’s. The 2015 Points Champion is the Portuguese Warrior (that’s me!) with a total of 75.5 points. The 2015 Winning Percentage Champion is Bleaker with a winning percentage of .944 (8-0-1). Bleaker participated in 60% of his matches this season. Next year, the commissioner’s office will most likely institute a “minimum” percentage of match plays in order to qualify for this prestigious title. It was still an impressive season for Georgie boy and definitely worthy of the title especially since there was no previous wording on the qualifications. Congratulations George! Not you Bleaker, I meant me.
The low net winners were Cousin Joe (A/B) with a low net 29 and Ken Glaser (C/D) with a low net 31. Congratulations to the winners! We finish the season next week on the back of the Willows and the Best Ball Scramble. Remember, at least one drive from each player MUST BE USED. With less than 10 points separating the top three teams, it is anyone’s championship. If The Offensive Line finishes no worse than alone in 2nd, they clinch the championship. If Daddy Day Care finishes in first and The Offensive line finished tied for 2nd or worse, then DDC will be the champions. Roller and Duer Again is still in this thing but they need some help. If they finish alone in 1st and The O-Line finishes tied for third or worse, the pre-season favorites, Roller and Duer Again, win the 2015 GCCGL Championship. The bottom three teams can really screw up some the best laid plans by finishing strong. Regrettably, I will miss the last week of play so good luck to all of you. We hope to see you on the course and as always, hit ‘em straight!
George Almeida – GCCGL Co-Commissioner
