May 31, 2012 Update

[dc]W[/dc]e were able to just sneak the rounds in before the rain. We actually tee’d off a little early this week which definitely helped. Other than the clouds, it was a pleasant day weather-wise. We also had perfect attendance this week thanks to a couple of subs, Brad Cunningham and Mike Hlebovy (the H is silent). Thanks guys.

What a difference going from Willows 10 to Pioneer 1. The scores that were posted this week were truly impressive. To give you an idea of how big the improvement in the scores were, last week we had just 29.2% finish under par (net) compared to a whopping 58.3% this past week! You gotta love the Pioneer for the ego if not for anything else. We had 8 golfers break 40 last night! This included the old man Cletus who shot an incredible 38 gross for a low net of 28! Guess who he was playing…….me. It was everything I could do to not lose 10 -0! I shot 1 under my HC and still got spanked. All I can do is give it up to Cletus for putting together a magical round. Congratulations. There was one silver lining, I beat  Big Donkey in Harris vs The League. 
 
It seems every week I blog about some form of anger management issues. It has been all hearsay up to this point since I haven’t actually witnessed anything………..until now. We’ve had several folks throw clubs, kick bags and even break clubs but we haven’t had anyone actually beat up their bags with their clubs. It makes sense though, the club is already in your hand and the bag is right there so why not? It happened on hole #6 after Brad hit his approach shot from right of the fairway near the trees. Cletus was right there with him in the sand trap and was busting on Brad throughout the evening.  I know Brad a little bit and he seems pretty laid back to me. My take is that it was the combination of some bad strokes and the “Cletus factor”. Most of us GCCGL veterans are immune to his Cletus-isms so it is totally understandable that he was pushed to the brink and pictured Cletus in the place of his golf bag. You see, now it makes perfect sense. Brad, I’m going to help you and everyone else with the following tips that should neutralize the “Cletus factor”. Results may vary.

1. Do not accept any bets whatsoever
2. Do not look him in the eye during the round (actually that’s good advice any time of the day)
3. And most important, never, ever feed him or buy him beer after 7pm

It was a pretty uneventful week overall. We had Hlebovy drive the green on #7 and nearly hit Cletus who was standing on the green after making his par. Come to find out Carrier has a permanent $5 bounty on hitting Cletus and/or knocking a Yankees hat off Duer. That was close. Maybe next time. We found out that Schemmel’s nickname is Hollywood. We had a little “awkwardness” between Donnie Golf Game and Ollie when on the first very hole, there were no “good” putts concession coming from Ollie’s direction, not even within 1 foot. It came back to haunt him on the very next hole when Ollie makes a beautiful chip within 5 ft of the hole. He missed the putt but there was no concession from Donnie Golf Game. So Ollie walks up and misses the tap in. Ouch. Don concedes the 3 incher. Karma is real. Goldie was in the last group and exposed to the thunder. Cool as a cucumber, he still drained the short putt. See Section 5B-2– The “Goldenberg Rule” in the Rules section for those of you who don’t know why that is a big step in the right direction for Goldie.

So far, adding a sixth team has certainly added some additional parity. With a little over 1/3 of the season over, we have four of the six team within 10 points of 1st place. This is shaping up to be one heck of a race to the finish. It’s still not too late for the 5th place team, The Big Tebowski’s who are 23.25 points from the lead while Menace to Sobriety has been in the cellar since week 1. They are a whopping 39 points from the top spot. As depressing as that sounds, it only takes a scramble win to get back in the thick of things.

The big winners this week were The UMass Debate Team who beat up on Menace to Sobriety. They were led by Joe Carrier who scored 7 points. The Big Tebowski’s had a solid week defeating AMDB (22.5 – 17.5). They were led by Nick Duer who managed 7 points. Meanwhile Balls of Fury sneaked by NQ8! by a score of (21 – 19). They were led by Cletus who grabbed a cool 7.5 points.

The low net winners were Goldie, Knechtges and Couzin’ Joe (A/B) with a low net score of 31. Cletus (C/D) took low net with an unheard of low net of 28! His HC index did go down but his HC stayed the same. Hmm.

Just a note, we have decided to NOT count the Weekend Golf Extravaganza on August 18th. We will still hold the outing which is open to all members, subs and anyone else who wants to play. The last week of the season will be on Thursday, August 16th and will consist of the final Best Ball Scramble.

Also, the fan favorite “Pot Luck” is next week. The drawing will take place this Monday, in either Cletus’ or Jason’s office. More to follow on Monday.

We stay on the front nine of the Pioneer this week. Hope to see you on the course and as always, hit ’em straight!

George Almeida – GCCGL Co-Commissioner