THE LIPSMACKER MATCH OF THE WEEK

2-1 on the year…let’s roll.

WEEK 7 MOW – George “Portuguese Warrior” Almeida vs. Allen “Cletus” Bloomhuff

First and foremost – Co-Commissioner Cupcake is lazy as hell.  You want to know why, because I’m not sure he does much when he updates the schedule each year.  In week 7 of the 2023 season, Almeida and Bloomhuff played…and it was also the MOW. 

That’s not stopping me from picking this as the MOW again in 2024.  Why?  These two, along with CC, are the godfathers of the GCCGL.  A couple fun facts for the league newbies:  1.) Did you know the GCCGL has a Hall of Fame?  2.) Did you also know the first three members in the hall of fame were George Almeida, Allen Bloomhuff and Jason Nill?  Spit out that knowledge at the dinner table this weekend and watch your kids look at you like you are the coolest thing since snap-chat. 

Allen joined this league in 1998 and George started the league in 1996.  This is always fun to me – when George started the league, I was heading into my sophomore year of high-school.  When Allen joined, I was heading into my senior year.  HA – these guys are old!

Lifetime (well at least as far back as we have the records), Cletus has a slight edge at 5-4-1.  Current form – Allen is 2-1 and averaging 4.7 points; George is 2-2 and averaging 5.3 points.

GLOSSY PREDICTION – battle of the yellow tees tonight and George is getting two strokes.  One thing is for certain, these two will argue about George getting strokes all night.  You have George who has been whining about his handicap all season, and Allen who has been politicking to get control of the handicap system since he gave it up back in like 2012.  At the end of the day, I think PW has been playing well this season and Cletus won’t be able to overcome the two strokes.  How confident am I?  I’m willing to bet Cletus the $2 I owe him on this match…  Portuguese Warrior wins 5.5-4.5.

KREYLING KORNER

I’m bringing back an old Kreyling Korner favorite!  Since Co-Commissioner Lip-Gloss is a man of the people, I like to give the members a voice on the GCCGL blog.  Note I said members…not subs.  Because why?  Say it with me everyone – subs aren’t really people! I digress.  This week I’m giving you the first GCCGL roundtable of 2024.  The concept is simple, I pick three members and ask them a couple questions.  Their thoughts are then published for all the world to read.  This week’s roundtable is made up of Brady Gosney, Allen Bloomhuff and Jason Winkler. 

Question 1 – what is the biggest surprise this year in the GCCGL?

Brady Gosney:

I have two words. Matteo D’angelo. This dude has been a stud since he stepped foot into the GCCGL. Even though it is early, only four matches played and two events. I am not on his team so I cannot speak on the scramble ability, but if it is anything like these regular season stats through four weeks… then it is DAMN GOOD. He is in the top 5 in the BIG 3 categories, point, money, and win %.

– He is averaging 6 points every time he plays.

– He has won $10 off the league, not the most, but still money. And money is always nice!

– He is 3 for 4 on the year, his only loss is to Winkler from Week 2 and only by a point… He has also beat the points and money leader H2H this year. Matteo D’angelo is a problem on the golf course….

Also, S/O Nixon, Bedell & Kreyling all who haven’t lost yet this year!

Allen “Cletus” Bloomhuff:

The biggest surprise this year is how little drama there is or a different kind….I suspect that this is due to the fact that one or two of the hoodlums are no longer in the league.  NO DRAMA QUEENS! now after making that statement, another observation is a new kind of WHINING…..Me and Ollie had to wait until we were 60 in order to move up to the senior tees….now that the P-Whipped commissioners office changed it to 55 and 3 more members moved up….the whining never stops….good lord, what about what LG told me last year….PLAY BETTER! to be fair, when someone shoots 8 (give or take) under their handicap…that is hard to beat as they are playing out of their minds.

Now back to Drama Queen’s….Crowe is now the new Drama Queen…that’s right I said it!  Just a Cletus prediction….if the league isn’t not run like “The World According To Han Solo”…he may be the next to “exit, stage left!”

Jason Winkler:

Honestly, the biggest surprise is how much worse I have gotten in golf this year. I mean, I get it, I am a HIGH handicap. Higher than Cheech and Chong themselves, but I am barely breaking 60 on 9 holes people! And if my memory serves me correct, I have shot in the 60’s twice. I need to step my game up for the CTE boys!

Question 2 – what is your dream foursome (living or dead) and why?

Brady Gosney:

WOW. What an awesome question this is.

1. Sahith Theegala, what else needs to be said? This dude is a STUD on the PGA and currently my favorite player. I was at the PGA and got a little head nod from the 6 foot 3 Californian man. Fun fact about Sahith, he went to Pepperdine University, please send your guesses of the Pepperdine Mascot in to the GCCGL hotline. If I had a daughter, I’d hope they would date Sahith.
2. Adam Sandler – This is another lay up in my opinion. This guy just straight up rocks, always seems cool as the rule and dude is flat out hilarious! I would love to talk with him to see how his brain works, because that run from like 1993 – 2012 of movies… MAN !!!
3. George Strait – My favorite country artist since I was born. A lot of George Strait in the house growing up, I have only seen him live one time and it was the best concert. I loved it. So yeah, I’d take George to round out this stacked line up. Amarillo by mornin’… up from San Antone.

Honorable Mention: Tom Brady – Another just flat out dude. I was a QB and who do you look up to when you are little? Try the greatest QB of ALL-TIME!!! This dude is as good as it gets, he is class, he is the standard, he is the GOAT.

Allen “Cletus” Bloomhuff:

Dream Foursome….The World or GCCGL…hmmm

World would be…Jack “Golden Bear” Nicklaus the best and I even played with his clubs, Ben Hogan…I read his book when I was a teenager learning how to play, and the take away that I remember is to always use a hard full swing and let the club do the work, Arnold “The King” Palmer who was a very charismatic as well as being one of the best, and Chi Chi Rodriguez…the most entertaining professional golfer that I have seen and every good team needs a little levity.

Editors Note 1: This is four players Cletus.  You are supposed to pick 3 because YOU would be the final player in your foursome.  But you can pick a 5-some…you do you.

GCCGL would be…Joel “Silent, But Deadly” Miller 23-13-2/.632 a quiet player who annihilated his opponents, Paul “No Show” Eaglin, but when he does 18-8-3/.672, which Cletus beat on PB when Co-Commissioner CupCake using his power for evil  Vs good, switching Cletus’s sub opponent 5 minutes before teeing off in which Cletus put his drive in the 18th fairway, but I recovered and and won 5.5 to 4.5…it doesn’t pay to mess with the cagey old man, George Remington 21-10-3/.662 a character that was afraid of Big Donkey and still can win with an eclectic set of clubs from clubhouse lost & found when he forgot his clubs, Kurt “Lip Gloss” Kreyling 84-63-20/.563 comes in handy when he slices which is perfect for dog leg left! 

Editors Note 2:   If anyone makes sense of this rambling (posted exactly as it was sent in) please explain to me tonight. 

Jason Winkler:

My dream foursome would is going to be a melting pot of golfers and personalities, but I think it is a good one.

Number 1 – First and foremost, I am not going to miss the opp to golf with the GOAT. I do want to mention though, I want to play with 1997 tiger after he won the masters for the first time – so prime tiger is at the number 1 spot. He was above and beyond other golfers, and though I was only 6 at the time, he became my favorite golfer when my dad introduced me to the sport.  

Number 2 – Give me the PGA bad boy, hooters connoisseur, dart ripper, long drive champion, impossible to keep up with drinking John Daly. This dude just looks like a good time, PLUS – he rides in carts now, so I won’t feel lame riding in one by myself. Who wouldn’t want to spend a summer day on the course with John?

Number 3 – Now I chose this golfer, not for the reasons you would think, but because she is incredibly entertaining and a heck of a golfer! Give me Paige Spiranac. Yeah, she is gorgeous, but since Youtube Golf has taken over – she has appeared on some of my favorite channels (BobDoesSports) and always has a good time. She was technically a professional golfer for a year and this lady can compete. Plus, the hope is she sees how bad I am and wants to give me lessons! 

I believe my foursome has the right amount of skill and good times! I am worried that 97 tiger would absolutely hate it though

Until next week – fairways and greens my friends.