THE LIPSMACKER MATCH OF THE WEEK

Mike “Big Donkey” Harris is right.  Ties do suck.  Goldie and I tied in week 6, so that’s my first L in the MOW – 3-1.  Short on time this week so I’m only hitting you with a MOW.

WEEK 7 MOW – George “Portuguese Warrior” Almeida vs. Allen “Cletus” Bloomhuff

Come on…how could this NOT be the MOW?  I know Big Donkey is matched up against Toby and he is giving up 35 strokes.  35 strokes!  I seriously can’t even fathom this.  Toby gets 4 strokes on 8 holes, and 3 on number 2 (the par 3).  I can’t get my head around that…but if anyone can pull this off, it’s Harris.

Let’s get back to the battle of the curmudgeons.  The founder of the GCCGL and laziest Co-Commissioner PW versus a retired co-commissioner Cletus.  Don’t let these two fool you with there pleasantries before or after the rounds, or the pillow fights in the weekly updates…”oh that Cletus stole my 3-wood again”…these two hate each other.  Cletus is everything that George wants to be…retired (in job and as a co-commissioner), tall, hairy.  Have you ever watched Cletus as George speaks?  That hatred in that mans eyes as George produces clear and concise sentences is palatable.  I can only imagine the vitrol spewing from Cletus’ mouth as he reads the weekly updates.  “Damn George and his ability to master the written word in entertaining and enjoyable stories!”

As it relates to golf, your guess is as good as mine.  It’s been well documented the George hardly ever shows up.  In fact his attendance in 2023 is an abysmal 28.6% and he has amassed 4.5 points.  Yes you read that correctly…he has 4.5 points.  Not averaging 4.5 points a match…he has 4.5 points – total.  Bloomhuff is marginally better with attendance at 42.9% and averaging 4.3 points a match.  Lifetime they sit at 4-4-1 with their first ever match up occurring in 2002.  That’s right, over 20 years ago! 

GLOSSY PREDICTION – I’m staying disciplined…let’s look at the stats.  Lifetime, PW shoots an average net score of 37.0 on the Willow’s front; lifetime Cletus shoots and average net score of 38.1.  Well crap…I was really hoping Cletus would be better on a net basis because George has barely swung a club.  They play straight up tonight so no advantage there.  I have to stay disciplined and I’m going with the numbers.  The Portugeuse Warrior wins tonight 6-4.  George – this is the best I’ve ever started in the MOW…don’t let me down.