Kreyling Korner – Week #5 – 05/19/16

THE LIPSMACKER MATCH OF THE WEEK

Last week was a rough one for El Commissioner Glossy. One loss (Rayburn) and one tie (Mitch) takes my 2016 season to 2-3-1.  Can I get the elusive two wins in Week 5?  It has to happen at some point…right?

A/B Group – Brian “Scratch” Turnwald vs. Mitch “Prince Albert” Smith. There are some good story lines in week #5.  Harris and Duer are 6-1 in their career match-ups with Duer securing his first W only last year; Goldie is a perfect 6 and 0 against yours truly. However, as good as those match-ups will be, nothing will compare to Scratch and Prince Albert.  The Prince has been sending at least one email a week to Cletus criticizing him for drafting Turnwald with his first pick.  Word in the GCCGL rumor mill is that Brian does not appreciate this nonsense…especially considering he has started the season 2-1 (compared to Mitch at 0-3).  A league “source” has also confirmed that if Turnwald and Mitch see each in the GCCGL hallways, both men will alter their routes.  Tensions will be high, and to make matters worse, I put Tucker in their group! *LipGloss laughs and evil laugh* Glossy prediction: Mitch shoots another solid round and loses a heartbreaker 5.5 – 4.5.  If I’ve learned anything in this league, it’s that unlucky guys finish last.

C/D Group – Oliver “Ollie” Livermore vs. Joe “Boot Boy” Eiser.  In reviewing the historical head to head match-ups, I was a little shocked when I saw that Ollie holds the upper hand in this series 2-0.  Both men are coming off big wins last week, shooting very impressive scores (Joe a net 26 and Ollie a net 31).  One of the hardest things to do in golf is back-up a strong round so it will be interesting to see if either of these gentlemen can go low tonight.  Glossy prediction: Joe has to give Ollie 4 strokes tonight, which will be hard to overcome.  But, I think Joe rides the confidence he built last week to a 6-4 victory.

THE KREYLING KORNER

Not going to lie, some weeks it’s difficult to come up with topics for the Kreyling Korner. Other weeks, the blog pretty much writes itself.  Friends – this is one of those weeks.

Captain Cupcake came up with great polling questions this week. First, the ugliest swing.  The results ended in a tie with Bloomhuff and Goldenberg.  Bloomhuff makes sense, but Pete?  I understand his swing looks more like a slap shot, but the guy is an old hockey player.  Not to mention it’s effective.  If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

As Jason pointed out, today is “National Pack Rat Day.” He asked everyone to speculate on what each league member has hidden in their closets.  Below are some of the best responses for each individual of the GCCGL.

George Almeida – Cargo shorts that double as his wife’s capri pants

Troy Bachmann – Taxidermy gear and a few hundred gerbils

Allen Bloomhuff – Cletus doesn’t have any clutter.  His wife makes him skip golf league to clean up any mess around his house

Seth Brooks – Picture of David Hasselhoff

Joe Carrier – Duct tape and WD-40

Joe Cook – Life sized cardboard cut-out of Harris in full Backswing

Nick Duer – Hermione Granger posters

Joe Eiser – The John Hughes collection

Pete Goldenberg – His pride since he roots for every good team – bet he likes Duke too

Mike Harris – Scorecards from every round, complete with a journal of notes, the temperature, wind, his mood, etc

Kurt Kreyling – GCCGL trophies…no wait…he has none

Oliver Livermore – Mountain women

Mike Morell – Nobody knows.  Could be a neatly organized closet; could be skin-lamps

Jason Nill – Scented candles and Febreeze coupons

Ed Petryk – His wife uses that closet

John Rayburn – Pictures of Ollie’s closet…and a waffle iron

Brian Roddy – Popsicle sticks

Danny Roller – Peter Pan costumes

John Schemmel –  A full collection of man purses, Rogaine, and a Mississippi State poster of Rafael Palmerio and Earl Clark

Adam Schott – Love notes to Mitch Smith

Justin Seiter – Lincoln logs

Mitch Smith – Disturbing videos of him cursing Bloomers and professions of love for Harris, all while wearing Steve Buscemi’s outfit in Billy Madison (including the lipstick)

Mike Tucker – Participation trophies

Brian Turnwald – Batteries…lots and lots of batteries

Until next week – fairways and greens my friends.