Kreyling Korner – Week #4 – 05-15-14

The Lipsmacker Match of the Week

Only four weeks in to the GCCGL and the jockeying for first place is intense. As George pointed out in last week’s blog update, after winning the FLO-RIDA scramble Morning Wood jumped out to an early lead. They have since dropped to fourth place. On the other end of the spectrum there is a team climbing the standings like Ollie on Mt. Kilimanjaro. The Putt Pirates have gone from 5^th to 3^rd. What’s the secret to the Putt Pirates success…the skull and cross bone wrist bands of course! Das Boots are Made for Golfing currently stand in 1^st place and Schmuck Dynasty is in second. Interesting note for week 4 – Schmuck Dynasty has 3 subs this week. Goldie is the lone soldier willing to face Carrier to the Hole and Duer.

The Putt Pirates take on Das Boots are Made for Golfing this week. This could be a very interesting week if the Swashbuckling clan of commissioners (and Bleaker) take down the dumbest team name in the league. For this reason, the match of the week goes to George “The Portuguese Warrior” vs. Oliver “Just for Men” Livermore. No strokes will be awarded to either of these men as both their handicaps stand at 13. These two have matched up seven times and George owns the series at 5-2, but never on the back nine of the Willows.

LG Prediction – George wins a fairly tight match 6-4. I’m more concerned with the health of this match-up – the combined age of these two is 111 (Ollie – 61, George – 50). Here’s hoping no one breaks a hip.

The Kreyling Korner

Co-commissioners Cupcake, George and myself get into many discussions about life, liberty, and GCCGL substitutes. Generally, each new substitute succumbs to what I like to call the “league effect. “

It all starts casually enough – Oh I would like to sub says some new Co-Op from UC. Fair enough young Bearcat…please turn in 5 scores to establish a handicap.

Ummm….but LG, I don’t have 5 scores.

Ok – what’s your handicap?

Let’s see – I played a year ago on our family vacation and I shot a 45…I think. That’s bogey golf…so I’m a 9.

We as co-commissioners (aka The Gate Keepers of Handicaps) can only work with the information we are given. Low and behold we give the poor young sap a 9 handicap. And then the league effect takes place. The sub saunters on down to the first tee and hears Cletus chirping his nonsense – or Syndrome yelling at Ollie. No silence in anyone’s back-swing. Insults hurled faster than an Aroldis Chapman fast ball. If they are lucky, they will make it off the first tee…chances are they will duff it 20 yards.

The sub will play his round and things might calm down…but always lurking is the 9^th hole. And two things await you on the 9^th hole. The teams that have finished before you…and cold beer. They all watch you, counting your backswings, again with insults (your dress or your hair…they love the hair), giving you nick names. Don’t miss the green young sub – or the gallery shot awaits you. The GCCGL surrounds you with barely enough room for a backswing. But the most eerie thing about a gallery shot – this is the only time everyone will be quiet for your shot.

When it is all said and done – the league effect has taken hold. The 45 that you shot last year on your family vacation has suddenly turned into a 55. Grab a beer and shake it off new sub…there are a couple more groups finishing up.