THE LIPSMACKER MATCH OF THE WEEK

Another season in the books – and a great one at that.  Bloomhuff got his ass kicked in week 19 so my MOW record finishes up at 5-4.  Above .500 two years in a row!  I think the MOW needs to be shaken up for the 30-year anniversary in 2025.  More guest pickers?  As I’m a man of the people – I’m open to any suggestions made by the GCCGL members!  But not subs.

KREYLING KORNER

Pooping Pants

Gentlemen – we have to talk about something that happens on the golf course far more often than I would have ever thought.  That’s right, as the subject line of this topic would suggest, pooping your pants on a golf course is a thing.  Why have I concluded the inability to control your bowels on a golf course is an epidemic, because I know of 3 situations in which a grown man has packed their underwear and two of them happened on a golf course.  One happened to my dad when he was playing with his buddies.  I’ll never do this story justice here, and if you ever ask me to tell it, I will start dying laughing – almost as hard as the broken stahl door incident with Cupcake (that’s for another blog post).  But to cut it short, my dad was playing a round of golf with his friends and one of the guys got up to hit his tee shot on like hole 7 and my dad said “Hey Johnie *name change to protect the innocent* – what’s that on your pants.”  Johnie calmly turned to my dad and the rest of the guys in the group and said “I pooped my pants.”  Typing that sentence has me in tears…and I swear to you that’s the truth.

Now, as for the second story of letting the turtles loose mid swing…well, you’ll have to get that story from the league member himself.  He never said I couldn’t use his name or the story in this post, but I’m not sure he said I could use it.

Just to put a bow on this topic – I played golf this past weekend with my son, my step-son and my dad.  After the round, my dad mistakenly drove the golf cart down steps (another story for another time).  It was hilarious and when we came home and my step-son said to my wife – “Mom, you will never guess what Paw Paw did!”

I kid you not, Katie slumped her shoulders, cocked her head, looked right at him and said “tell me he didn’t poop his pants.”

#i’mtellingyouit’sathing

Best one-liner of the 2024 Season

I have to mention the one-liner the resident stand-up comedian of the GCCGL, Jason Winkler, said to me in week 19.  This quote is word for word:

“I’ve seen some weird shit on a golf course.  I saw the Chinese spy balloon shot down on a golf course in Myrtle Beach.  The last thing the Chinese government saw of the USA was my triple bogey.” 

#putthatinyourlittleskit

MVP Race

The votes are in and the winner is – Ben Leininger.  Hard to disagree with this pick as he lead the league in points with 84 (5.6 per match) and tied for the most wins of the season at 10.  No doubt his performance was the driving force leading the Clubhouse Cowboys to the 2024 Championship.  The runner-up for the 2024 MVP race was Andy Crowe who was number 2 in the points race at 77 (5.9 per match), tied for wins overall at 10 and winner of the winning percentage category at 76.9%.   Great season to both these guys – and Ben, walk through the hall of Prysmian with pride knowing you carry the title of MVP for the next 7 months! 

#yourethebestaround

Scramble Rules Evaluation

It’s time we need to re-evaluate some of the sub rules for the scrambles.  Finding a sub that can be no lower than 3 strokes under your handicap is fair.  But all this crap about who can take extra strokes if you are missing an A, B, C or D player, and depending on what player you are missing determines if you start +1 or +2 – that’s all just nonsense.  Seriously, read Section 10A-1!  There are 8 different scenarios under this section.  I’ve done a little research on how these rules came about and – surprise surprise – they were written by Cletus.  The only guy in the league that legitimately can make changing a light bulb complicated.  In this co-commissioners opinion, if you are playing a man short because someone can’t find a sub, then you simply play short.  No extra shots can be taken and you start at even par…just like everyone else.  It’s simple logic (which I know Allen finds difficult).  It’s harder to score well with 2 people in a scramble than it is with 4 people.  I don’t care what the combination of player is, more players equals more shots and a better chance of someone hitting a good shot…end of story.

Another rule that needs to be reviewed – using everyone’s drive.  Does that really hurt anyone?  I’m sure there are examples over the years where this has been an issue.  But it’s very rarely discussed at the end of the year scramble, so I think this needs to fly the way of the Dodo bird as well.

#stupidisasstupiddoes

Round of Applause

Congrats to the 2024 champions, the Clubhouse Cowboys.  Despite them having a dumb team name, they fought hard against fierce competition (maybe not) and came out on top.  With this Championship, Brady Gosney, Jack Tally and Ben Leininger all capture their first league trophy, Jason Nill his 7^th.  This is Jason’s first trophy since 2011 and leaves him just 1 back of the all time leader in Championships.  Congrats again gentlemen! 

One more round of applause to all the members of the GCCGL.  It’s fair to say 2024 was a bit of a transition year with a lot of new faces adorning the fairways of Kenton County Golf Course.  Even with the new faces the GCCGL motto of being “the most interesting golf league in the Northern Kentucky/Cincinnati” area rang true.  Thanks for all the laughs on Thursday nights throughout the 2024 summer and we hope to see everyone back next year for the 30^th Anniversary of the league.  I know I give PW a lot of shit on this blog but starting something that’s been around for 30 years is pretty damn cool!  I’m happy to be a part of it!

#bestdamngolfleagueever

Until next year – fairways and greens my friends.