Kreyling Korner – Week 19 – August 26, 2021
THE LIPSMACKER MATCH OF THE WEEK
Snoodles loses to the Glossy One and my MOW record moves to 4-4. Hmmmmm….who should we put in this week?
Big Donkey, let me start this week by saying, I think your contributions to the GCCGL blog has been the highlight of the 2021 season. Your writing is witty, your takes are thought provoking, and your willingness to dig through years and years of statistics is unprecedented. I know we have had our beef in the past, but I do truly mean that. All that being said, stay in your lane bruh. The MOW comes through on section of the blog, and one section of the blog only – the Kreyling Korner.
Now, the Big Donkey has put me in a pickle. As you all can read above, my current MOW record stands at 4-4. Not only have I never won a GCCGL championship, I’ve never finished better than .500 in the MOW. Mike has called me out, but in a way that really keeps all his bases covered. Let’s look at all the options:
Option 1 – Big Donkey and Lip-Gloss in the mow. I pick Mike to win, confirming what I have always admitted, that there is a MOW jinx, and giving my team the best option to get back in the running for a championship. This is what the league will expect, and if Mike loses – the reason for the loss is the MOW jinx. If he wins, the Rolling 60s take one step closer to a championship.
Option 2 – Big Donkey and Lip-Gloss in the Mow and I pick myself to win. I jinx myself against the best player in the league. The pontification in the Week 18 blog on “the changing of the guard” was a nice touch, but it definitely left Mike an out. In his own words, his best golf is in the rear-view mirror. Does he really believe that (I don’t), or is it just an easy way to put all the pressure on me and encourage me to pick myself? If I win, he called it…if I lose, he the best is still the best. No harm, no foul. Last but not least, my team is pissed at me because I jinxed myself.
Option 3 – puss out and pick Freeman and Crowe.
So here is what I’m going to do. Two MOWs in week 19 – and both are going to play in the last group for everyone to watch when the come in.
Week 19 MOW #1 – Serkan “the Assassin” Freeman vs. Andy “Russell” Crowe – I fully agree with Mike’s take on this match. How can you show confidence playing someone that is 0-13. I knew Andy’s record was bad, I just didn’t know it was that bad. Andy – I want you to read this and listen to me. There is absolutely no reason you should be 0-13. Period. End of story. You need to stop thinking about golf and just be a freaking athlete. You played football, wrestling and track in high school – and by your own recollections, you didn’t suck. Golf shouldn’t be any different. Stop thinking about your damn swing before every shot or analyzing what happened the shot before. You need to step up and focus on hitting the ball hard with whatever club you have in your hand. If you miss a green don’t think about why you missed the green, get up and down and get off the hole. No one cares what your swing looks like, or if you pured every shot (because you aren’t a pro and won’t). The object is to put the ball in the hole in as little strokes as possible. Start thinking about only that and win a damn match.
GLOSSY PREDICTION – I hate bullies and I don’t care about the MOW jinx. I am a big Andy Crowe fan and thoroughly enjoy playing golf with him. The only thing that prevents Andy from winning is his freaking head. Exercise the demons and go out of 2021 with a win. You get 3 strokes from Serkan – that’s more than enough. And Serkan, you brought this on yourself. Chad Johnson once guaranteed a victory in 2003 against the Kansas City Chiefs. At that time, the Bengals were 4-5 and Kansas City was 9-0. The Bengals won that game and I think you could use it as a valuable lesson. Punch up…don’t punch down. “Child Please!” Russell wins 6 – 4.
Week 19 MOW #2 – Mike “Big Donkey” Harris vs. Kurt “Lip-Gloss” Kreyling – if you are called out, you have to respond. Alright Mike, let’s rumble. With a lot on the line I might add. Not only does Dustined to Fail (not destined) need to beat the Rolling 60s to remain in contention for a championship, Cupcake was gracious to point out, via a lovely text, if I lose this week and he wins, I will also lose the win percentage title. That’s right – my own teammate is putting added pressure on me. Is it any wonder we have never won a championship together? Mike went over the current year stats, but I would like to point out our head to head record – I own the upper hand at 5-3-2. Three of those match-ups have occurred on the back of the Willows with the record being two ties and a loss for Lip-Gloss. Like I said above, Mike summarized a lot of this ins and outs of this match in last weeks post, so I’m going right to the prediction…
GLOSSY PREDICTION – It’s no secret the back nine of the Willows is a thorn in my side. If you miss left, this 9 will eat your lunch. For those of you that play with me enough, you know my miss as a south paw is a big cut left. As a result, if I go bad, I can put up 50s or high 40s with ease. I also don’t love having to play Mike straight up for the first time ever on this 9. BUT, I also don’t like betting against myself. MOW jinx or not, I didn’t like picking myself to lose last week. Cupcake hates it when I pick anyone on our team for a win, so I picked last week for the good of the team. I’m not doing it twice. Mike – if you wanted me to jinx myself, you got your wish. If you were trying to psych me out and add more pressure to the match, I guess we will have to wait and see how I respond. Lip-Gloss wins 5.5 – 4.5.
THE KREYLING KORNER
Let’s do a couple chip shots.
No Ties
I love the idea. I agree with Mike, ties are stupid. What I love even more is the idea of having a beer after a round and watching people march off the 9th green to the putting green for a putt off. Regardless of what George says, I’m keeping this on the list of topics for the winter commissioner’s meeting.
Moving Tees based on Handicap
Not sure where I land on this idea. Interesting concept, but I did a little more research on the suggestions on how to determine what tees to play based on handicap. Sure, there were some articles that suggested, low handicappers play back tees, mid handicappers play middle tees, and high handicappers play forward tees, but under that theory the A players should be playing the back tees. Another interesting take was on how far you hit certain clubs. Specifically, a driver and a 5-iron. See below:
Let’s now take a look at the tees on the Willows (I think we can all agree the Pioneer tees we play are just fine the way it is).
Front Nine of Willows Back Nine of Willows
White: 3,081 White: 3,424
Yellow: 2,902 Yellow: 2,980
Red: 2,569 Red: 2,435
For me, this is where the debate starts. Assuming all the C/D players can hit a driver 225 yards and a 5-iron 160, the ideal yardage of tees would be around 2,900. This would give strong argument to all C/Ds moving up to the yellow tees. However, as I look through this in more detail – I’d argue this isn’t as cut and dry as we think. Ethridge, Serkan, Crowe, Klein, Capannari, Leininger and Parvesse all can hit the ball further than the 225, 160 thresholds. So maybe their ideal yardage is 3,000 yards. If that’s the case, then the only 9 that is really a little too long for them is the back nine of the Willows. Do we want to change for just one 9? Or do we only want to change for D players? And, I leave you with one more thought. Isn’t kind of enjoyable to have almost 4 different 9s? One easy (front of Pioneer), 2 in the middle (back of Pioneer and the front of the Willows), and one hard (the back of the Willows).
I recognize the fact that we could argue this a million different ways, and my analysis ONLY takes into account yardages. Plus this week’s KK is long and I’m tired of typing. So, I will simply say it’s an interesting topic, and still don’t know where I land. At the end of the day, I do think that slow-play has more to do with the player than skill level. Play ready golf, be ready to putt when it’s your turn (this means reading he green while others are putting) and don’t spend a ton of time looking for balls that clearly go in the woods and you will be just fine. If nothing else, make it a goal to stay with the group in front of you and you will get around in 2 hours and 15 minutes or less.
Until next week – fairways and greens my friends.
