THE LIPSMACKER MATCH OF THE WEEK

How about Big Donkey’s MOW last week?!?!?  He knocked it out of the park and it’s going to be really hard to follow.  Might I also point out, he picked Roller and Roller did secure the W.  I’m not above adding that to MY overall record, which was 5-4 after Ollie won in week 16 despite my best efforts to jinx him.  All that said – the MOW record is 6-4 and I am guaranteed a winning season no matter what happens this week!

WEEK 19 MOW – George Welling vs. Jason Winkler

We are going to end the season with a battle of rookies.  Before we get to the highly intense analysis of Welling versus Winkler, we need to address a serious situation that’s rearing its ugly head in the GCCGL.   Nicknames.  That’s right…nicknames.  We have 4 rookies in the league this year: Tally, Grainger, Winkler and Welling.  We are in week 19 and only ONE of them Tally (Coppertop) has a nickname.  This is simply unacceptable.  I expect heavy discussions among the members in the last two weeks of the season to appropriately nickname Grainger, Winkler and Welling.  And by doing so, George will then memoralize it forever on the blog. #gerogesucks  Or at least until the server crashes, which is going to happen at some point soon because I think we are still using Go Daddy (miss their commercials though).

As for the golf – looking at the handicaps and records alone, you have to give Welling the edge.  On the season George is 7-6, with 66.5 points (avg. 5.1/match); Jason is 4-9 with 57 points (avg. 4.4/match).  But as my man Paul Harvey would say (look him up you millennials), this is the rest of the story.  We have played the front of the Willows three times this year in match play.  Of those three times, Welling has shot an average net of 41.7 and Winkler has shot an average of 40.  Granted, the first few weeks were adjusting for the rookies handicaps, the scores in week 7 and 15 are what is truly telling to me.  In those two weeks respectively, Welling shot a net 44 and 40, Winkler shot a net 44 and 37. 

GLOSSY PREDICTION – Winkler is getting 5 strokes from Welling tonight and given his run on the front of the Willows so far in 2023, I think he’s the horse for the course.  Winkler wins 5.5-4.5.

Kreyling Korner

Oh that Cletus

The old man is out this week, but I have to tell this story from last weekend.  All the boys in my house were out with friends on Saturday night, so it was just my wife, my daughter and myself.  My daughter loves sushi but we hardly ever eat it because her brothers hate it.  So being the nice dad I am, I take my daughter and my wife out for sushi at Sweet Basil in Crescent Springs.  If you haven’t been there, I have to point out – this restaurant is small.  I’m talking it maybe sits 50 people at max.  So we pull up and walk into the restaurant and the nice Thai waitress starts to grab menus to seat us.  As she is doing this, I hear a blood curdling scream over my right shoulder and I’m immediately jolted with a bear hug/form tackle from the one…the only…Cletus.  Now, you would think one scream in this tiny restaurant would be enough.  Nope, not for Cletus.  He continued to scream and most of the patrons and staff were debating calling the cops because they thought I might be getting murdered.  You think my wife and daughter stepped in to protect me when I’m being viciously attacked from my blind side?  Nope…they did absolutely nothing.  Well that’s not true, the buried their face in embarrassment.  And only after I started laughing and said high to the Old Man did they look at me and say… “who is that guy?!?!” 

#cletusinthewild   

Churnalism

George wanted to give you the definition of tomfoolery last week.  I want to give you a new definition in Kreyling Korner this week: Churnalism – a form of journalism that is characterized by a lack of original research and fact-checking and by reuse of existing material such as press releases.  I give this definition to you after the lazy ass reporting that was done in this past week’s blog.  It’s been well documented the PW skips golf for completely lame reasons that I’m happy to make fun of him for later on this evening.  But to insinuate that I made up a story about attending my kids school functions to ensure I guarantee a tie in the winning percentage category is asinine.  In fact, I was extremely pissed I had to miss last week because I was only 4 points behind Ollie in the points race.  And of course, the week I had to miss is the week Ollie ONLY secures 2 points and my would be opponent shoots a net 40.  Those would have been PRIME opportunities for me and I missed because I was trying to do the right thing for my children.  Regardless George, if you received an email or simply made up these allegations as click bait, it’s bull shit.  Next time you try and fabricate stories like this do us all a favor and clean your damn pool.

#liberalmedia

Austin Wells

It’s really hard for me to write this.  The GCCGL lost one of its members, Austin Wells, on the morning of August 18, 2023.  Austin was 28 years old.  I figured a good way to pay Austin a tribute is to do what we do best – take a look at some of his golf stats.  Not golf stats from the GCCGL, but from his college days at Urbana University.  Yes, for those of you that didn’t know, Austin played collegiate golf at Urbana University in Urbana, Ohio.  He played all four years, recording 37 rounds, 20 of them his senior year in 2016-2017.  His average score his senior year was 81.25, his best finish was T12.  He had a national ranking of 1,123.  Those stats tell me one thing – he had a WAY BETTER college golf career than any of us. 

Gone way too young.  RIP Austin. Obituary information for Austin William Caine Large Wells

#youwillbemissed

Until next week – fairways and greens my friends.