Typical George…nothing to write about so he takes a shot at Lip-Gloss.  You know what, he’s right.  I have no leg to stand on…but “#georgestillsucks 

THE LIPSMACKER MATCH OF THE WEEK

4-4 on the season because I bet on Cletus and he tied.  That’s right I give the man a glowing MOW article and he repays me with a freaking tie.  If he keeps this shit up there will be NO Tuesday’s with Cletus.  Shout out to anyone who gets that literary reference. #takealookinabook

WEEK 16 MOW – Oliver “Ollie” Livermore vs. George “???” Welling

Ummmm…the match-ups suck this week.  We have 3 no-shows and 3 subs, which makes picking a MOW pretty difficult.  So what do we do this week?  4-4 on the season and it would be awesome to end this season with 3 Ws (yes there are only 3 more match play events including tonight).  So I could pour over the matches and find a “lock”  that would start me on a winning streak to close out 2023.  EEEEEFFFFFFF  That!!!!!!!!  I’m going full on self service mode and picking Ollie versus Welling. 

Let me explain.  The Crowe Dog Millionaires (my team) are currently in 5^th place, 39.5 points out of first place, and 32 points out of the money.  Basically, we are done.  Add in the fact that two of my teammates are out this week with no subs, and the third teammate has a sub, I’m just not feeling very strong about our chances.  It’s fine guys, I’m not mad.  The last two scrambles will be a blast with loud music and cold beer.  All that being said, I’m putting an I in team.  Lip-gloss currently sits #3 on the points leaderboard and first in the win percentage category.  Who is in front of me in the points race, Goldie (who is out tonight) and Ollie.  Which brings me to this week’s pick.   

GLOSSY PREDICTION –Screw statistics, we are going Old School and jinxing the hell out of Ollie.  I’ve mentioned this from time to time in the MOW but let me lay it out clearly for you newbies.  The Jinx is real and it’s spectacular. #seinfeld  More often than not, whoever I pick to win in a MOW loses.  The person picked could be playing out of their minds for the entire season and the 1 time I would pick them in the MOW, they lose.  It’s true.  Listen on the first tee most weeks…the person I picked to win the MOW will often yell at me for doing so.  All that being said, I have NO SHAME and I want to catch Ollie in the points title.  Ollie wins big tonight 8-2.

Kreyling Korner

Slow Play

Gather round GCCGL…it’s time to get real.  This post is probably a bit too late in the season, but we have to address the elephant in the room.  In fact that’s not fair to elephants, because I bet they play golf faster than most people in this league. Tonight we play on the Willows back 9.  Yes, this is the hardest nine of the 4 courses and typically results in slower play.  However, we need to do better at keeping up the pace of play.  Some friendly reminders of ways to speed up.

1. Play ready golf. I don’t care if you got a birdie on the last hole or a double bogey.  On the PGA tour, yes the give each other honors on the tee. In the GCCGL if you are ready, hit the ball.
2. Read your putt as soon as you get to the green. Stop marking your ball and beginning your read once it is your turn.  There are 3 other people in your group putting.  Read your putts in between their turns and while they are getting ready to putt.  Then once it’s your turn, you have your line, you can put your ball down, and go.
3. Stop looking for your ball forever. The rule states 3 minutes – so take 2.  If you can’t find it, drop and move on already.  Chances are if you can’t find your ball you hit a terrible shot.  You deserve a penalty shot so take it and move on.
4. Tell your stories in the cart, or while you are walking. Look I want to hear your stories.  Most of the time they make me laugh.  But if it’s your turn to hit the ball – shut up, hit the ball – and then go back to your story.  Don’t finish your story and then hit the ball.  Other way around…hit your ball and then finish your story.
5. If there is an entire hole empty between your group and the group in front of you, you are playing to slow. Period, end of story.  If you see this happening – let your playing partners know you have to speed it up.

Tonight the first three groups are threesomes.  This should speed up play tremendously.  Keep these tips in mind…and KEEP UP WITH THE GROUP IN FRONT OF YOU…and I promise you will play faster.

#onlyyoucanpreventslowplay

Portuguese Warrior

Like I said to start this week’s Kreyling Korner, George was right in his criticism of my lack of blog posts this year.  I’m not even going to address his ridiculous claims about my fashion tips.  If any of you want to agree with George, a man who just stopped wearing camo shorts in 2022, then you’re beyond hope.  As it relates to a low percentage of blog posts, sorry dudes – my free time sometimes get chewed up with work or child commitments.  What I can say is I am committed to actually PLAYING golf.  True, maybe you don’t get to read my nonsense, but 86.7% of the time this year, I share a beer with the GCCGL members after a round.  George? Only 66.7%…and that should be adjusted down for last week when he sprinted out.  I know I know – there was a perfectly legitimate excuse.  Like cleaning a crystal clear pool…or fixing a car that mechanics determine was unfixable.  You know what, you do you George.  Like most of what is wrong with the world these days – you measure importance based on strokes on a keyboard versus showing up.

#georgeisamillenial

Until next week – fairways and greens my friends.