THE LIPSMACKER MATCH OF THE WEEK  

What a difference a week makes. 0-2 in week 15 takes me back under .500 at 9-11. Short memory because week 16 brings with it one of the most anticipated weeks of the GCCGL – US OPEN WEEK. Pre-warning to all of you, this might be the longest blog post I’ve ever done…so strap in if you have time.

A/B Group – Nick “Potter” Duer vs. Mike “Meat” Morell – if any of you are golf buffs, you’ve heard of the Duel in the Sun. The classic battle between Tom Watson and Jack Nicklaus at Turnberry (Scotland) to win the 1977 Open Championship. Well, tonight we have the War on the Willows! This is, by far, the best match of 2017. Let’s start off with the golf. Duer’s 2017 season consists of an 8-2 record and 62.5 points; Morrel’s season consists of an 8-3 record, 63 points AND $49 dollars! These stats are MVP type seasons. But, wait there’s more! My little birdies tell me Meat is pissed. Like really pissed. I get it, the championship is pretty much out of reach, but there is money on the line here. And – Meat’s in the running for the 2017 money title! He’s currently second on the list and coming in the top 3 would have really helped his chances. Instead, Big Donkey is blinded by the fact that he has 7 championships and feels the need to trade away a big reason his team is in second place. Yup, Meat is now on a team with a stupid name (the JETS) and 13 points out of finishing in the money. To make matters worse, ever since Potter got traded – the wheels have fallen off. His first two losses on the season came after he was traded…how’s that for handling pressure? You know what I say – hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, or a man traded to a crappy team in the GCCGL. GLOSSY PREDICTION – Morrell wins 6.5-3.5.

C/D Group – John “Syndrome” Rayburn vs. Oliver “Ollie” Livermore – it seems like this is a MOW once a year. And how could it not be? These two guys are legends (I use the term very loosely) in the GCCGL. Historically, these two are very evenly matched. Ollie has a slight advantage overall at 4-3, but what’s interesting is that these two have met twice on the back of the Willows. The result…an even split. Neither of these two are having a stellar season, each carrying a losing record into week 16. The difficult course and strict rules of US Open week will make this interesting. Hmmm….who do I pick? I’ve picked against Rayburn a lot this year, and he always seems to burn me. Here’s your chance Rayburn – don’t let me down. GLOSSY PREDICTION – Syndrome wins 5.5 – 4.5.

THE KREYLING KORNER

I have material coming out my pores this week so let’s do a trend watch!

TRENDING UP

Pete “Goldie” Goldenberg – Big props to Goldie this week. The point of last week’s Kreyling Korner was not to call out specific individuals on stretching the “preferred lies” rule (which is why all violators were kept anonymous). The point was to simply highlight that it was getting significantly out of hand. To Pete’s credit, he stepped up and accepted full responsibility for the second incident in last week’s post. Something he didn’t have to do! Admitting mistakes and accepting fully responsibility for your actions is tough – even in a beer drinking golf league. Hats off to you Pete, you are trending up!

Mike “Big Donkey” Harris – When you are hot, you’re hot. And Mike Harris’s golf the last couple weeks is so hot the equator is jealous! The last two weeks the Big Donkey has turned in gross scores of even par. And this isn’t even par on the Pioneer, this is on the front nine and back nine of the willows. I’m going to say that one more time so it sinks in – even par on all 18 holes of the Willows. I’m happy I don’t have to play him this week (good luck Goldie). Salud Mike Harris, you are trending up!

TRENDING DOWN

Joe “Boot Boy” Eiser – Ok, I’m going to start this by saying, there are two sides to every story. I have not heard Joe’s side of the story I’m about to tell, but it was confirmed by two members of his group. Last week, on hole 17, Joe was teeing off first and the rest of the group was standing on the elevated tee box. If you can remember the layout of tees on hole 17, the tee boxes are on different levels. Last week, the tees were all the way to the left on the lower level. The entire group was standing on the elevated tee while Joe was about to tee off. Cupcake was getting his yardage on his phone and started backing up to watch Joe’s tee shot. As he walked backwards, he tripped over PW’s golf club. Not a fall to the ground trip, but enough for George to say something like, “what the hell are you doing?” They both kind of lightly laughed it off and apparently it distracted Joe in his back swing. According to both Jason and George, they weren’t that loud…especially by GCCGL standards. Joe misses the green off to the right, which is not a very good place to miss on hole 17. Jason, who happens to be Joe’s opponent, tees off next and hits a shot to about 4 feet from the cup. As Jason was walking off the tee, Joe says something to the effect of “I would have done that if you guys weren’t talking in my backswing.” Jason says, “oh, well if we screwed you up, hit another one.” After the rest of the group hit their tee shots, Joe walked back down and hit a “mulligan” to about 5 feet.

I’m sorry, but come on. People have talked in each other’s backswing since this league started 22 years ago. Not to distract the other opponent, but just because it’s supposed to be a fun league. The “fun league argument” is exactly why Joe believes we should be able to improve our lies! I’ve heard it from him a million times! What I’ve never heard is someone cashing in on the offer to hit a mulligan. How many times have people honked in a backswing on hole number 3 on the front of the Willows? Or on hole 1 of the Willows two weeks ago when Cletus legitimately YELLED “Schott you suck” in the middle of his backswing? Our whole group pleaded with him to hit another one…but he didn’t. I also find it ironic that the guy who blares music from his cart every round hits a ball over because there was noise in his backswing. Boot boy, that was Bush league, you are trending down.

USGA Rules of Golf – Man, the rules of golf are confusing. Case in point – George was wrong in his interpretation of hitting a ball out of bounds in last week’s blog post. The PW stated, “if you hit out of bounds, go to the closest area where the ball went into the hazard or OOB and drop no more than one club length from that spot.” Well, that’s wrong – if you hit a ball out of bounds (typically marked by white stakes), you drop the ball in the same spot you hit it from. You don’t get to walk up to where the ball went out of bounds. Now, if you hit a ball into a hazard (typically marked with red stakes), then you get to drop a ball two club lengths where the ball went into a hazard, no closer to the hole. This is going to be a mess tonight, just like last year. I can’t wait! USGA rules of golf are trending down!       

Until next week – fairways and greens my friends.