THE LIPSMACKER MATCH OF THE WEEK

Boom suckers! 2-0 in week 14 brings my overall record back to .500 at 9-9. My 2017 MOW goal is still in play, but this week is going to be tough. I think week 15 brings the most exciting MOWs of the 2017 season – let’s get to it!

A/B Group –Brian “Scratch” Turnwald vs. Mike “Big Donkey” Harris – What can you say about this one except that this could be the best match-up of the season. Both guys have the lowest handicap in the league and will be playing straight up (we know Mitch, you carry a 5 handicap as well). I also believe these two are playing their best golf of the season. Turnwald is in my office every Monday talking about his weekend round and how he shot in mid 70s with two double bogeys. Harris just shot even par a week ago on the front of the Willows with 9 pars. Is history the best indicator of the future? Overall in this series, Mike has the upper hand at 2-0. Both of his wins were on the Pioneer and as we all know the Willows back presents a much different test. Still, it’s hard to bet against Scratch and the strong season he is having with the Young Guns. Plus, Brian won for me last week. GLOSSY PREDICTION: Turnwald wins 5.5-4.5.

C/D Group – Joel “Seriously Joel Needs a Nickname” Miller vs. Joe “Cousin Joe” Cook – As good as a match-up as we have in the A/B group, I think this one is even better. Miller brings in a 9-1 record overall and 61 total points on the season. Meanwhile, Cousin Joe is putting together his best season of his GCCGL career with an 8-3 record and 69 points (ha). Both of these guys are picking up money this year as well: Joel has won $41 and Cook has won $33. These boys aren’t just winning, they are shooting low scores while they do it. The only time they played, Joel picked up the victory earlier this season on the Pioneer back. Man, this one is really hard to call, and I’m purely going on my gut with this pick. For some reason – I feel like Joe pulls it out. GLOSSY PREDICTION – Joe wins 6-4.    

THE KREYLING KORNER

Alright boys, it’s time we have a talk. I’ve given up on the whole rolling your ball in the rough thing (you can read all about it here). I get it, everyone in the league does it (except Cupcake) so what’s it hurt moving your ball an inch or two to improve your lie. The problem is – people are moving their balls MUCH FARTHER than an inch or two. It’s been brought to the attention of the commissioner’s office that certain people have been improving their lies SO much it’s cheating. Yeah, I said it.  

Here are a couple of examples of what I heard from just last week!

• A ball was hit up against tall grass and bushes that is considered a hazard on hole 1. The ball was moved out from the hazard to give the player a better stance and a chance of reaching the green. Low and behold, the player hit their second shot to the fringe of the green. Anyone see a problem with that? THE BALL WAS AGAINST A HAZARD. If you have to move it because you don’t have a swing, you have an unplayable lie and should be assessed a penalty (i.e. what Jordan Spieth did last weekend on hole 13 of the Open). If you hit the shot from where it lies, 99% chance you don’t make it close to the green and who knows what happens with the score on the hole. Bottom line – you cannot avoid penalty strokes under the “preferred lies” rule.

• A tee shot was hit through the fairway on number 9. The ball came to rest under the tree and was completely blocked. The player who hit this bad tee shot actually moved the ball 6 feet away from the tree to have a shot. This player didn’t actually hit the shot because he was caught/questioned on moving his ball by another member of the group. The player did move his ball back closer to the tree, but still far enough away that he had a clear shot to the fairway. If you hit a shot under a tree, how can you make an argument that you deserve a clear shot to get out of trouble? Again – if you have an unplayable lie, take a drop AND your penalty stroke.

If you are reading this and it seems like I’m frustrated, it’s because I am. On one hand you have Ollie who has openly been given a reputation as a cheater. Maybe he did some things years ago that are questionable, but he hasn’t done a thing wrong since I’ve been a member (and I’m in my 7^th year). On the other hand you have the two examples above (whose names are being omitted) get away scot free? How’s that fair?

And for Christ’s sake – please know what ball you are playing when you tee off. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been looking for someone’s ball in this league and I ask them, “what are you hitting” only to get the “I’m not sure” response. I’m not saying you have to mark your ball like the pros, but at least know the brand and number. Now that I think about it, marking your ball is tour sauce. And for those who don’t know, tour sauce is defined as acting like a tour pro. For example, twirling your club after you hit an iron on a laser trajectory with the pin – that’s tour sauce. I digress.

Seriously gentlemen – it’s a work golf league that’s more about having fun and drinking beer. Feeling the need to cheat to win low net money, improve your handicap or win a GCCGL trophy is just plain sad.       

Until next week – fairways and greens my friends.