Kreyling Korner – Week #14 – 08/20/20
THE LIPSMACKER MATCH OF THE WEEK
Snoodles pulls the victory in week 13, giving the Glossy One another L. Overall record stands at 4-5. I have to say, that’s my favorite loss of the season. China Virus showed signs of cracking in week 13 only accumulating 14 points. Hmmmmm….who to pick in week 14?
Week 14 MOW – Mike “Swiper” Ethridge vs. Matt “The Politician” Bedell – If there was any week to put the MOW jinx to the test, it’s week 14. Swiper is having an MVP year, everyone knows that. Swiper was chosen early in the season as the candidate versus the league. I’m not sure everyone’s reason for picking him, but I can almost guarantee they are astonished by the results. Through week 13, Mike has gone 136-23-1, with a winning percentage of 83%. Flat out remarkable! The other interesting dynamic of Mike’s season, the decrease in his handicap from week 1. It’s well documented that the GCCGL made the switch to the World Handicap System in 2020. What we have seen is more drastic drop in handicaps throughout the year. A prime example…Mike Ethridge. In week 1, Mike’s handicap index was a 21.3; through week 13 Mike’s index is a 13.5. What’s that mean in strokes? Back in week 3, Swiper and the Politician faced off and in said match, Bedell had to give Ethridge 10 strokes. The outcome? Swiper with a victory of 7.5 to 2.5. Today, that stroke differential has been cut to 5…but does it change the outcome?
GLOSSY PREDICTION – Here is what makes this week even more interesting. Bedell is coming in hot after shooting a gross 36 / net 28 last week. So…you have the MVP of the league, with a handicap dropping faster than Trump’s approval rating, playing red hot Bedell with half the stroke differential as the previous match. On top of all of this – I can’t explain why, but it feels as though the championship dreams of China Virus lie squarely on the shoulders of Mr. Mike Ethridge. This is the perfect storm. The perfect storm for a MOW Jinx. Ethridge wins 7-4.
THE KREYLING KORNER
It’s time for the third installment of the GCCGL Round Table. Please welcome Joe “Boot Boy” Eiser, Joe “Cousin Joe” Cook, and John “Syndrome” Rayburn.
In the last two weeks of match play, I’ve had to take a cart for one reason or another. Both times that I have taken a cart, I shot a 37. Naturally I’m thinking a cart is good luck, and I will be riding again this week. You could say I’m superstitious, a topic the Portuguese Warrior spoke of in his week 13 update. Do you have any golf superstitions? If not, what’s the craziest superstition you have ever heard of?
Boot Boy: You absolutely have to ride the hot streak with the cart – if it works, it works, even if it has nothing to do with the actual ritual, because it’s in that beautiful, shiny dome of yours. One of the best Yogi-isms – “Ninety percent of the game is half mental’ – says it all.
I don’t so much have superstitions as much as I do repeatability in my routine, especially as I get older. I like to get to the course, get a cart, load up the cart, take my Advil, socks/shoes, fire up speaker, balls/tees/divot tool in the pockets (long tees in left, short tee and divot tool in right with 1 golf ball), and crack a beer – let’s do this! I’m peculiar on lining up the “ProV1x” logo (or whatever ball) specifically facing me, aimed at the target, both off the tee and on the green, as well.
Craziest superstition? Cletus’s Slam the Driver 3 times with varying backswings is definitely one (I want to be there when that thing snaps off), but the most frequent/odd one goes to my cousin. Shockingly, he’s a lefty, so it’s natural to be weird – before each and every shot, he mutters to himself different things, and they tend to be repetitive. Tee shots are usually “don’t f*** up,” irons/wedges are “follow through, idiot”, and putts are varied (“be the ball”, “get in the hole”, “easy as pie”, “smooth”, etc.). His dual personality is basically his caddy.
Cousin Joe: There was time in my younger days I always had superstitions before every sport I played. Fruit cocktail out of a can before every basketball game in high school. Had to wear the same undershirts and sock also. Of course baseball was the worst, I had to have snickers and a mountain dew before every game. Socks had to be worn high. Sunflowers seeds were a must in the field but not when hitting and no chance I was stepping on the base lines as I ran on and off the field. For golf I can really only think of one superstition I’ve ever had and if it was a superstition I could control I’m fairly certain I’d be playing on the Korn Ferry Tour right now.
Early in my GCCGL Career there was a time where I worked from home and lived just stone throw away from Kenton Co. One afternoon my fairly newlywed wife made it home a little earlier than usual. I may have been running a bit late for golf but being a man….there is always time to squeeze in some afternoon delight. Three and half minutes later I was on my way golf and I was feeling really good about all aspects of my game. You won’t believe this but I went out and shot even par on the front of Pioneer. The next week comes and I explained to her that morning she would need to be home earlier because I had the 2nd tee time this week, she laughed and basically told me good luck. But to my surprise…..BANG! I go shoot 1 over par on the back of Pioneer. A golf superstition was born. This is not a coincidence folks. This is science! I have given signals and hints and even done some cleaning around the house on Thursday afternoons…..but now I really suck at golf and we have 3 kids. Oddly enough that equals the amount of times I’ve shot par since that special season. I remind her pretty much every Thursday that I’m heading home to get my stuff around 3:30 but she has been busy at work I guess.
Syndrome: No personal superstitions really and I don’t follow golf closely enough to know of any. I do have certain rituals though, like shaking my left arm out before I settle my grip on my putter. It probably looks like that Michael Jackson dance move and I’m not sure how or why I started it – probably comes from me sweating like a firehose and trying to unstick my shirt sleeve before I putt. Now, as I think about it, I think I do it before teeing off too. Damnit, now that’s gonna be in my head. Thanks, Kurt. Dick.
When sailing, I always drank a beer before the first race of the day. It could be 60, raining horizontally and 5 ft waves, I’m drinking a Labatt Light damnit.
And waaaay back when I was running, I was quite meticulous about folding (not rolling) my bandana before a race. It’s the sweat thing again. Even when I was skinny.
In Kreyling Korner, I’ve frequently commented on golf pet peeves. Wearing your golf glove to putt; when marking a putt, you place the ball marker in FRONT of your ball and when you return the ball, you place the marker BEHIND your ball – to name a couple. Now I ask the GCCGL roundtable – give me your biggest golf pet peeve.
Boot Boy: Currently, it’s personal space, and that’s not just in golf, but definitely violated the most in this league. Ollie and to a lesser extent, Goldie, need a sense of what’s acceptable (AND RIGHT NOW IT’S 6 FEET DAMMIT). I literally have taken a club and moved Ollie away from me with the club length and my arm length. I’m sure his lice/crabs in that muskrat on his cabeza are avoidable from 6 feet away, too. I mean, I can take your s***** course advice from an appropriate distance – you don’t need to whisper it to me like I’m your Thai hooker date.
Cousin Joe: I have a few but my biggest pet peeve is someone telling me where my God awful drive just went. “It went in near the 7th tree after the bunker and a bird just s*** on it” or “I got you. I just landed in the high grass over by the cows maybe 22feet past that tree stump”. No offense to these types of people but why the heck don’t I hear from you when I hit that one in the fairway? A GCCGL Pet Peeve is people that don’t ever make it out for after round drinks and food. Not once all year and some I have not once ever seen! Show some effort! I understand it is hard for some who live far away and have family and kids but come on people you can make a ONE appearance now and then. My last pet peeve is people not fixing ball marks on the greens. Being a former groundskeeper during my college days it blows my mind. Show some courtesy to the other golfers. Oh and pick up your damn feet when you walk too!
Syndrome: Jack didn’t take his glove off, so that’s a stupid peeve. I’m not nearly as bad as Pete, but I’m pretty impatient, especially when it comes to slow play caused by stupidity. You know, taking 10 minutes to look for your ball in the woods, walking 75 yards further than you shot to begin your search, stuff like that. I was dangerously close to bashing Fusting’s skull in a couple times for spending too much time in the woods. Thankfully, my love for Scotty would prevent that from happening today. Scotty soiled by Fusting’s brain matter is a thought I cannot fathom.
Sadly, though, I know my speed causes me to play poorly at times. I hate the thought of the group behind MFing me for slowness so I frequently rush, then I top it and the path to an 8 is well trod from there…
Until next week – fairways and greens my friends.
