THE LIPSMACKER MATCH OF THE WEEK   

NO MOW for you – Pink Ball Scramble in week 12.  I have to go all the way back to week 9 to update my MOW records…it feels like I’ve been gone forever.  Roddy with a no show so that one gets tossed; Rayburn with an L (not sure why I ever pick him).  Overall record stands at 4-6. 

THE KREYLING KORNER

What a difference 3 weeks makes?  When I went on vacation to Hilton Head 3 weeks ago, I left my team I’d Tap That, a mere 2.5 points out of first place.  After 3 weeks of lying on a beach, traveling half-way around the world, and blowing stuff up in celebration of America, I come back to a 15.5 point deficit. I guess it’s fair to say there is plenty of time left, but the 2019 season is flying by.  The Pink Ball Scramble is always a great event and the perfect opportunity for contenders to get right back in the mix, and the leaders to let everyone else right back in.

As I said above, I’ve been out for 3 weeks.  Now I know 1 week doesn’t really count since last week was the 4^th of July and the league had a “bye.”  But I can’t remember a time that I have felt more out of touch with the GCCGL, and I’m really excited to get back to the course.  As I’m sure all of you have missed me just as much as I’ve missed you, I figured I would share the funniest story that happened to me during my hiatus. 

It all started in the morning hours of the Huasheng Jiang Quan hotel in Linyi, China.  Yeah this probably isn’t where you think I was going with a funny story, huh?  A random hotel room in China.  I mean there were cooler things that happened when I was on vacation in Hilton Head.  Playing golf at Harbor Town with my dad, brother and brother-in law definitely ranks up there.  But the humor of what happened in China kinda takes the cake.

Ok, so let me stage here a little bit.  I was in the “little city” of Linyi, China.  I put little city in quotes because there are 12 million people there.  Regardless, it’s not one of the tourist cities in China and as you can expect, I stood out like a sore thumb.  To put it mildly there aren’t may tall, pale skinned, blue-eyed, bearded, bald men in China.  Each morning, the hotel where I was staying had a great breakfast buffet.  Aside from having to use chop sticks (you try eating eggs and bacon with chop sticks), it was delicious and something I looked forward to daily.

One particular morning, I walked down to the restaurant, found a seat and had my usual discussion/random hand movements with the waiter to get coffee.  From there, I hit the buffet, came back to my table and started feeding my body for the busy day I had in front of me.  As I’m enjoying a taste of Chinese pork and peppers, (so spicy, so good and actually a delicious breakfast food) and enjoying my coffee, a family walks in and sits down beside me.  This was a large family, a mom and dad, grandpa and grandma, uncles, aunts, and 3 young boys that I estimate were between the ages of 6 and 12.  I noticed this family only for the sheer fact that the 3 boys were screwing around, similar to that of brothers in America, and it was making me laugh.  They were all speaking Chinese, but what I found funny was the mom was obviously scolding them for acting up in a restaurant.  The three boys looked at her, hung their heads and walked off to get their breakfast.

Well, two of them did.  The youngest boy went to turn and walk to the buffet, but something caught his eye only 5 feet away.  The thing that caught his eye – the tall, pale skinned, blue-eyed, bearded, bald man sitting at the table next to him.  He stopped, as still as a statue, and stared at me for a period of 30 seconds to a minute.  He stared long enough to make me start to feel a little bit like a circus freak and definitely uncomfortable.  Suddenly, I hear the mom yell out for her son and he takes off in a dead sprint to her talking hysterically in excitement.  What he was saying, I have no idea, but he was excited.

Crisis averted, on to my Chinese version of French toast (also super delicious) and more awkward hand motions for a refill of coffee.  I finished up my first plate and headed to the buffet for number two.  Little did I know, my new Chinese 6 year old friend was laying in wait for me.  I walk towards the buffet and the boy sprints from the side of his mother, directly in my path.  He cracks a smile, holds up his hand with and eager wave and lets out a…

“Haaallllloooooooo”

The enthusiasm in this kids voice was something I’ve never heard!  I mean he greeted me, in English, like he had just seen Santa Clause for the first time.  Do they have Santa in China?  Doesn’t matter, point is I am obviously the first American this kid had ever interacted with.  I bet he has seen Americans on TV, but now he is talking to one! 

Now the pressure is on me!  What am I going to say to this young boy who had to ask his mother if it was safe to talk to the strange American sitting at the next table?  What I’m about to say could shape this kid’s view of an entire nation for the rest of his life. 

“What’s up little dude?”

BOOM!!!!!!!!!!  I!  FREAKING!  NAILED!  IT!

Until next week – fairways and greens my friends.