THE LIPSMACKER MATCH OF THE WEEK

My bad about not blogging last week guys!  I bet I missed you more than you missed me.  Bill “the Most Interesting Man in the World” Nixon took the W over the intern in the US Open Week which take’s my MOW record to 3-2. 

WEEK 8 MOW – George “Portuguese Weasel” Almeida vs. Jason Winkler

At first glance through this weeks match-up, this one doesn’t off the page.  But if you look a little deeper it does for 1 reason.  The reason is simple – George’s blog last week was bull shit.  Fake news created by the liberal media to drive one man’s agenda (more on that later).  So for that – you’re going in the MOW this week PW.  I don’t care if I take an L in a win/loss record that is meaningless.

Some of you may be thinking – LG, what does it matter if George is in the MOW?  Simple, the MOW JINX.  For you doubters out there, the jinx is real and spectacular.  Just ask Cupcake…to this day he cusses me out of if I put him in the MOW and pick him to win because it’s almost a 100% guarantee that he doesn’t just lose, he plays terrible as well.  The top 5 sports Jinxes in History are as follows:

1.) The Curse of the Bambino

2.) SI Cover Jinx

3.) Madden Cover Jinx

4.) The Talladega Jinx

5.) The MOW Jinx

GLOSSY PREDICTION – maybe we should take a look at some stats to see if there is anything that sticks out.  This year Winkler is…you know what….screw the stats.  The Weasel wins and he wins big.  8 Strokes is nothing to overcome!   George wins in a blow-out 9-1.

KREYLING KORNER

WTF

Last week I played in the first group, a rare occurrence for me, which is a complete switch of my early days in the GCCGL.  My preference is to be up front because you play faster and get the enjoyment of watching all the other groups come in.  Nowadays, I just can’t pull it off with work and my commute to the golf course.  But like I said, last week I played in the early group and it was kind of a disaster.  I was dealing with work crap up until I ran out of my house at 4:30, which continued through the first two holes.  If that wasn’t bad enough, I kept checking my watch to see what time it was.  Why?  Because I needed to get to my kid’s baseball game that started at 8.  You read that right, the entire reason I put myself in the first group was to get to my kids baseball game.

Now, I’ve talked to some of you about my Longhorn’s baseball team (2023 League Champions, currently 3-3 on the season and in 3^rd place) and what I have explained is that when this year’s schedule came out there were like 4 games scheduled on Thursday.  If you were listening to me, I also explained that I was going to get an assistant coach to cover for me every Thursday.  Except for this last Thursday – and do you want to know why?  Because Mrs. Lip-Gloss, who most of you have met by now because she also plays in a golf league at Kenton County on Thursday nights, insisted I coach because her youngest son (my step-son) Charlie was subbing for our team.  I didn’t argue because she was right – Chuck is 11 and the kids in this league are all 14 and 15.  I had to be there to keep an eye on him. 

Where am I going with this?  Mrs. Lip-Gloss and this league is a bunch of cotton headed ninny muggins.  As I’m racing out of Kenton County Golf course to make sure I’m at the field by first pitch, I receive the picture to the left.  That’s right – Katie ran down to our league to take a selfie with all you assholes drinking beer and sent it to me to rub it in.  I must admit, it was funny as hell and I laughed really loud when I saw this. Still – you all are a bunch of jerks.

#whyyougottabesorude

Elephant in the Room

By now you have all read the slander posted by the Founder of the GCCGL, aka the Portuguese Weasel, George Almeida.  There is so much wrong with his post from last week I don’t even know where to start.  I think the best thing to do is refute the lame ass main points of his post one by one.  Let’s begin. 

• I’m old, have gout, everything hurts…feel sorry for me. I know PW said “don’t feel sorry for me” but come on.  Why else would you start a conspiracy theory?  Oh poor old me…I’m the victim.  Stop your whining.  Cletus and Ollie are both older than you and I don’t hear them complain.
• LG and CC have injected themselves into the subbing business. No, no we are not.  It’s not our fault that you are trying to eliminate as many of your GCCGL responsibilities as humanly possible.  A fact you have mentioned a countless number of times in the blog.  Yes George, some of the members of the league ask CC to help find them subs.  Why?  Because he is trying to be helpful and is actually in the office of Prysmian.  And from my own perspective – I contacted ONE potential sub at the request of a teammate (see pic to the left for proof).  Am I not allowed to help a teammate out?  Maybe my willingness to help my team is the reason we are in second place (only 4.5 points out of first) and your team keeps slipping down the standings faster than a babysitter’s boyfriend when a car pulls up.
• They never thought to call a C or D player for the PGA Event. Nor did they think to ask me if I’d be willing to split the points (like I did this past week) to give my body a break.  Hell no I didn’t think to get a C or D player to sub.  Why would I?  I know this league is more on the fun side then on the competitive side…but shit.  At what point did we start NOT wanting to win?  Since I’ve been in this league my teams have tried to get the best sub available.  Why – SO YOU CAN GET POINTS!!!!  I’ll tell you what George, at the end of the year lets order trophies for all members because they tried their best.  F man – I refused to get my kids participation trophies when they played U8 soccer.  Also – Cupcake didn’t scour anything to find a sub.  He actually reached out to Tucker to sub for the week after US Open Week.  Jason stated he would let Tucker know if there was an opening.  So when he knew Cap needed a sub, he gave Tucker the ok.  What’s wrong with that.
• Nor did they think to ask me if I’d be willing to split the points (like I did this past week) to give my body a break. Really?  We are going to play the sympathy card again? I ask you this – how was that 18 holes you played on Friday morning with Cletus the night after you “gave your body a break?”  That extra 12 hours of rest help when you DOUBLED your weekly amount of holes the next day? 
• However, there is a reason why the PGA Event pits the flights against each other (A vs A, B vs B, etc.). It is actually a stipulation of the PGA event that was put in by none other than Lip Gloss. It wasn’t a stipulation at all.  The US Open event was put into the schedule so that everyone plays by the strictest rules of golf.  A/B and C/B flights was how the schedule has been done FOREVER!  Way before the US Open event and way before I was a part of the league…which makes me think, PW probably put it in.  And again – for all match play events – any skill level can sub for any flight in any given week.  Hence the use of the HANDICAP SYSTEM.

George definitely got one thing right in his weekly update.  He got his ass kicked fair and square.  Now, are Jason and I angels…absolutely not.  Nor will I ever claim to be.  Could Jason have let Tucker play for Ethridge in the week in question…of course he could have but Ethridge was Jason’s opponent.  Was I happy that Tucker agreed to sub the day of the event…of course.  But to insinuate that Jason and I went to great lengths to sabotage our friend and the founder of this great league that brings us so much joy is simply hurtful and untrue.  Those type of shenanigans were saved for members of this great golf league that left after the 2023 season.

Until next week – fairways and greens my friends.