It Gets Better

Yikes. PW took a beating on last week’s Kreyling Korner. That’s OK though. I told all of you in the past that LG is a deeply sensitive man and knowing that, I should have been more delicate to Lip Gloss’ insecurities. And although I’ve been doing this for a very long time, I’m still learning about life, golf and human behavior each and every day. So, to LG I say this, “I apologize for hurting your feelings with last week’s GCCGL blog post. I’m also sorry for not mentioning that despite all those poor scores posted by you in the past, that you NEVER ran off like Snoodles did. You stood there, drank beer with the guys and took it like the proud metrosexual man you are. I promise to do better next time. We still have a lot of work to do together in keeping this great golf league of ours strong, relevant and fun. Don’t give up on me LG. “

Two straight weeks of wet, rainy, windy and muddy conditions on the back nine of the Willows has taken its toll on GCCGL members. The scores continued to blow up this past week; 60% of the posted scores were over 50 while 15% of the scores posted were 60 or more. We had one score over 70. Here’s hoping for better weather and the Pioneer course.

Apparently, we have a new worse foursome ever assembled (Captain Hairy, Leininger, PW and Couzin’ Joe). According to Syndrome, this group was 50+ minutes behind his group (the first group). It’s true, outside of Cousin’ Joe who took low net, that none of the other members in this group shot lights out. Personally, I scored better than last week and was only +3 over my handicap. Yes, Leininger and Cap struggled more than usual but it didn’t feel as though we were slowing anyone up. We barely saw the group behind us all night and they’ll attest they never had to wait on us. So, is Syndrome blowing smoke up all our asses? Maybe, maybe not. Fifty plus minutes might have been a little bit of an exaggeration but the fact remains that three fourths of the group did suck. We’ll take ownership of the Worst Foursome Ever Assembled……for now.

We have a NEW SUB! Hopefully you all got to meet him. His name is Justin Case. He’s a real nice guy. He was asked to sub by team Not So Perfect Attendance “just-in-case” El Jefe, a.k.a., “Urby G” did not show up. Well, Urby did show up. Not only did he show up, he split his match with Snoodles (5-5)! Therefore, the new sub Justin Case, better known as Big Donkey, stepped back and played by himself behind all the rest of the groups this week. Apparently, an agreement has been reached between Big Donkey Enterprises, LLC and team captain, Couzin’ Joe to secure subbing duties for the entire 2019 season just in case El Jefe (I still like spelling it El Hefe), doesn’t show up and doesn’t get a sub. Here’s my two cents, I think El Hefe should try and play as many weeks as he possibly can. Why not? He’s paid his 2019 GCCGL dues in full, he’s entitled is he not? On one hand, it seems that El Hefe is being bullied by NSPA to not show up. On the other hand, he doesn’t exactly have a great track record per his 55% reliability rating last season. El Hefe has taken another job out of state but wouldn’t it be funny if he flew in every Thursday or at least every other Thursday and played in the league just to stick it to CJ and his team? I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to see how this story plays out throughout this season.

In other news, Captain Obvious almost killed super sub, D. Fusting after throwing a club in a fit of anger and narrowly missing his head. The story was corroborated by Das Boot and Fusting himself. No guilt, no apology, no nothing was offered by Ollie after the incident. Come on man! That’s not how we do things in the GCCGL. At the very least, save your tantrums for when Cletus is subbing and then aim the club at him. I’m still not over his golf prank on an unsuspecting PW last year.

One last thing, regarding week three’s GCCGL blog post. A lot of folks really gave PW the business about not giving Snoodles a harder time. However, in my defense, I did have something in store but technical difficulties prevented it from happening. Apparently clicking a link and uploading a video to Google Drive is too complicated for some of our GCCGL members. See….there I go again, I’m trying to be nice but every once in a while, angry George peeks out and rears his ugly, bald head! Anyway, back to my point. We were able to overcome the technical difficulties earlier this week so we can now post what we intended to bring to you last week. Snoodles, you got off easy because PW had a moment of weakness. All of us here at the GCCGL care about your health and well-being. We know your golf play has been particularly bad lately and although you improved slightly this week, posting a score 9 strokes better than two weeks ago, let’s face it, it wasn’t that great. I wouldn’t get too excited if I were you. Nonetheless, here’s proof that the GCCGL is here to help you through this time of uncertainly and despair. Watch the video below. Absorb it, heed the words and for God’s sake, NEVER pull that crap again!

The low let winners were Cousin’ Joe (A/B) with a low net of 34 and Captain Obvious (C/D) with a low net of 36. Congratulations to the winners! We finally move on to the friendly confines of the Pioneer for the next month! If you can’t make it, please give one of our subs a chance to play. Several of them have made it clear to me that they want to play this season including Fusting, Leininger, Kramer, Glaser and others. If you are a sub and WANT to play more often DON’T BE SHY. Let me know and we’ll give you a shout out on the blog. I’ll make sure to forward the message. We hope to see you on the course and as always, hit ’em straight!

The Portuguese Warrior – GCCGL co-commissioner