2019 – Week 3

Despite the threatening weather all around us each and every Thursday, the GCCGL continues to get in the rounds. THAT’S a GOOD thing. What’s not so good is the quality of golf that was played on the back nine of the Willows. To be fair, this is not an easy nine when playing in the best of conditions, never mind the soupy, wet conditions endured this past week. Hence this week’s blog theme, POOR PLAY.

You like numbers? Well, here is one for you, 45% of the league posted scores above 50 this week. Again, this is a tough nine, especially under bad conditions but nonetheless. You might think to yourself, “PW, the league is comprised of 50% contenders (A/B players) and 50% pretenders (C/D) players. Of course, half the league will suck“. If this is what you are thinking, you’d be correct for the most part. However, there was one A player who had a rough night. It was so rough that this normally, happy, go-lucky person was so distraught, he left without so much as a “good-bye”. More on that later. For now, let’s go back in the GCCGL History books and take a deeper look into the worst rounds in GCCGL history by A Players. A huge thanks to Potter for providing the following performance statistics.

Below are the worst rounds by an A Player since 2010. I’ll give you a moment to digest these stats.

 Net

 Gross

Are you done? Did you notice a disturbing trend? As you can see for yourself, Snoodles had a rough night of it last Thursday and if he hadn’t left so abruptly, we probably wouldn’t even be talking about him right now and I’d be struggling for blog material. This is why everyone must stick around on the 19^th hole if not for any reason other than avoiding ridicule and becoming the target of the next GCCGL blog post. At the rate Snoodles is going, he’ll drop down to the C player flight by the end of the season. But luckily for Danny, the Potter numbers have uncovered a secondary target……Lip Gloss. Yes, Roller was bad this Thursday, but LG makes up 40% of the list! What do you have to say for yourself Kurt? Yea, yea, I know. If we were to pull up worse rounds by C/D players since 2010, you’d see some ridiculously bad scores posted by PW, especially on the back nine of the Willows. But we’re not talking about me. I’m a lowly C Player and to be honest, I’m actually the D player on a strong Wrath of Serkan team. I’m supposed to suck. But enough about this. I’m not going to step on anyone’s neck here. LG has turned it around in recent years and is off to a strong start this season and as for you Snoodles, the next time you walk away after a bad round pouting like a little school girl who scrapped her knee after getting shoved by the “big-boned” bully, there will be no mercy.

There is so much to talk about but it is my anniversary today and I only have a few more minutes before my wife wakes up so I’ll summarize quickly. I know it was a little windy last Thursday but that the hell was going on with Ollie’s hair? He looked like Doc Brown from Back To The Future. It was all over the place! It’s times like these that I’m happy that I’m bald.

The Kenton County Clubhouse sent out a rescue mission for the last group (Big Donkey, Doc Brown, Captain Hairy and Teen Wolf) who finished 34 minutes behind the group in front of them. THIRTY-FOUR MINUTES! And that is being conservative. The gallery was pretty riled up and buzzed by the time this group walked up to the green. THIRTY-FOUR MINUTES. You know how much can be accomplished in thirty-four minutes? I easily could have had dinner with a glass of boxed wine, taken a “potty” break flowed by a quick shower and shave and a short 10-minute power nap by the time it took that foursome to catch up to the rest of the group. They are already being touted as the worse foursome ever assembled. We’re only in the third week of the season and there are trade rumors floating around out of the Gout My Fairway camp. They are currently tied for last place and their patience seems to be running thin with their A Player. Stay tuned. Finally, it was a blast playing in my foursome as Syndrome was in his normal form this week. We battled back and forth and finished with another very close match. He introduced a whole new meaning being “pulsed” which is the process used by our new parent company to describe the migrating of a new computer. And also, does anyone know what “baby butter” is?

The low let winners were Goldie (A/B) with a low net of 32 and The Politician (C/D) with a low net of 35. Congratulations to the winners! We continue on the back nine of the Willows next week with our Pot Luck match play event. If you can’t make it, please give one of our subs a chance to play. Several of them have made it clear to me that they want to play this season including Fusting, Leininger, Kramer, Glaser and others. If you are a sub and WANT to play more often DON’T BE SHY. Let me know and we’ll give you a shout out on the blog. I’ll make sure to forward the message. We hope to see you on the course and as always, hit ’em straight!

The Portuguese Warrior – GCCGL co-commissioner