2024 – Week 19

What’s wrong with the picture (below)?

I’ll tell you what’s wrong. Lip Gloss has lost his freakin’ mind. Why in the world would anyone reserve the first tee time at 5:06pm for a group of 4 no-shows? Thus delaying the tee time for the entire GCCGL to 5:14pm when everyone knows that daylight is scarcer than hair follicles on Kreyling’s bald head? It was approaching 5pm and folks were putzing around, on the putting green, or on the driving range, or just gabbing it up “waiting” for their assigned tee time. Meanwhile, the tee was open and precious daylight was fading faster than Kreyling’s GCCGL Championship hopes. Thank goodness PW came back this week. Cletus and PW wound up taking charge and formed a quick foursome to tee off a little early and get week 19 off to a good start.

We did a good thing, or so we thought until Kreyling joined the gallery after his round and started complaining LOUDLY (I may add), that we made the wrong decision and how PW comes back for one week and starts messing up the tee times. Um….what the hell is going on here? Are you kidding? I cleaned up your mess and THAT’S the thanks I get? Why would you delay the tee time for the entire  league knowing that daylight is in short supply? But that is not the worst part. The worst part is that Lip Gloss was trying to justify this decision. His yelling caused his own teammate to miss a short putt on the 9th green. Are you proud of yourself LG? Once again, PW had to swoop in and take over the whole operation. You’re welcome!

Everyone knows how difficult it has been to secure subs this season. I think even Lip Gloss and I can agree on this. But as I’ve been eluding to all season, something just didn’t smell right. How is it that Jason Nill’s team always found subs while everyone else was scrimping and scraping the bottom of the barrel for substitutes on any given week. Well, I finally have proof that blows the lid off this whole Stealin’ Subs controversy. Check out the text message exchange between Cupcake and PW as PW was looking for a sub on week 16. This is NOT doctored. This is 100% the actual text message exchange. It is definitive proof the Jason “Cupcake” Nill and the Clubhouse Cowboys would do anything to secure the 2024 GCCGL Championship, including HOARDING subs.

Cupcake was “locking up” subs as backup plans in case his first choice subs were unable to show up! The man had BACKUPS for his BACKUPS! If that wasn’t bad enough, if another sub with a lower handicap was found, he’d swap the better player and keep the higher handicap sub waiting in the wings (unavailable for other teams)! I can’t make this up! It took almost 25 years Cupcake, but you have finally been exposed. Not even your perfect hair and pearly white smile will get you out of this one!

Moving on…… It felt great to be back. It really did. And although I may have put on a “couple” of extra pounds, my lower back is feeling better and I’m happy to be golfing again. And for the record, PW has taken a lot of shit for posting a 57.9% attendance rate this year but I’m not the worst and after the final scramble, I’ll have the same attendance rate as fellow co-commissioner Cupcake. The only difference between PW and Cupcake is that he was able to illegally hoard subs while I was going through all the proper ways of trying to get subs for me and my team. That’s what I get for being honest. I guess it is true, “good guys finish last”…..literally! My team is in last place unless we have a good showing in the last scramble.

I leave you with this video, courtesy of Brady. This video epitomizes what the GCCGL is all about! Watch GCCGL newbie, Armando D. try to get himself out of a precarious situation on the back nine of the Willows.

The big winners this week were Vanilla Gorillas who defeated Drawshank Redemption (21-19). They were led by George “PW” Almeida who nabbed 6.5 points. Our D is Better Than Your’s beat Party of Fore (20.5-19.5). They were led by MVP candidate, Andy Crowe, who managed 7.0 points. The low-net winners were Cupcake (A/B) with a low new (31) and Crow and Srinivasan (C/D) with a low next (33).  Congratulations to the winners! We have reached the FINAL WEEK OF THE SEASON! It is the Best Ball Scramble! The schedule is set. We hope to see you on the course next week and as always, hit ‘em straight!

The Portuguese Warrior – GCCGL co-commissioner