2023 – Week 7

I was sitting around the house the other day and lamenting about my relatively unremarkable start to the 2023 GCCGL season. Granted, I had only shown up for one scramble and one match play (and lost) up to that point so there’s not much meat there to chew on, but still, I sensed something is missing. Something is off about PW this season. I’m not myself. This is why I tried a new strategy this week. The Opposite Strategy. Whatever I’ve been doing, was not working so why not do the opposite? If every instinct I have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right. So, I went upstairs, ironed a brand new, never worn shirt, dug deep into the back of my dresser draw for a pair of shorts that wasn’t “cargo shorts”, dusted off an old golf hat and put on some “black” ankle socks (just for Crowe) and headed out to the golf course. This was the opposite of what I would have normally done which would have been to put on the first acceptable shirt, with or without stains, find any old pair of cargo shorts, don’t even look at the iron, throw on the same ‘ol South Carolina hat I’ve been wearing for the last decade, put on the worst pair of socks (just to annoy Crowe) and then either call a sub or just not show up. 

I’m happy to say, the strategy “kind of” worked. Unfortunately, PW lost his match to Cletus 5.5 – 4.5, however he shot a 44 (-3 his HC) and split low net with Cletus. There’s only one small wrinkle in this whole opposite plan, I don’t have another pair of regular shorts (at least none that will fit my fat ass)! I guess I’m going shopping for the cheapest golf shorts money can buy. One more thing regarding PW’s wardrobe. I may have given up my cargo shorts, but I’ve replaced them with cargo shirts!

It’s time for some “real talk”. Without getting into any details, it seems like some recent GCCGL banter and hijinks may be offending some of our members. This is a much different league than I started 28 years ago. Back then, there were no hurtful nicknames, no stomping on balls in the fairway, no stealing of clubs, and certainly no farting on backswings. Nope. It was just good old golf etiquette 101. There may be some of us who yearn for those good old days…….. but I’m not one of them. What can I say, I’m a sucker for a perfectly timed fart. So, I thought this would be a good time for the first ever, GCCGL Sensitivity Training course, S.U.C.K.

Sensitive
Be sensitive to people’s appearances and afflictions. It’s not PW’s fault that he has more hair in his nose than on his head or was recently called a PIGET (Portuguese Midget) by the neighborhood kids. Those kids were just mean and can benefit to enroll in the S.U.C.K. course.

Unbiased
Try not to be biased when around people like Cletus. Isn’t is bad enough that his actual name is Cletus? There’s nothing he can do about being old. Q-Tips have rights just like other people. But to be old, cranky and a hillbilly? Talk about three strikes and you’re out…. It’s hard to not let your bias about geezers seep in but instead, think about how much Cletus has experienced since prohibition.

Compassionate
Show compassion towards hurtful nicknames like Snoodles that could scar folks for life. One mistake does not make for a lifetime of shame and ridicule. Don’t you think Danny wakes up every day, wishing he’d never seen a birthday party favor? I know I do! Dang it, I did it again. PW was NOT compassionate. Sorry Snoodles, I’m working on it.

Kind
Be kind to folks like Syndrome, who has to go through life looking like a cartoon character. Do you think it’s easy walking around all day and night with that oversized bobblehead bouncing back and forth? Of course, it’s not. Or when his gout flares up and he turns from one cartoon character (Syndrome) to another (Fred Flintstone). Kindness goes a long way.

The point of this ridiculous blog post is this, the GCCGL will never be a politically correct kind-of league. It just won’t. And to be honest, that’s OK. We poke fun at a lot of folks on this blog, week after week, including myself. I poke fun at these guys because I know they have a great sense of humor and they can take it as well as dish it. I truly have a massive amount of respect for each and every one of them. I know we don’t hang out much outside of golf, but I do consider many folks in the GCCGL friends and always will. So, for those of you who might be in the “offended” box, I sympathize, really, I do. But as I’ve stated many times, this is a fun, beer drinking league with a lot of different personalities. If the banter ever gets to the point of making anyone uncomfortable, then contact Co-Commissioner Cupcake and he will take care of things. We want everyone to enjoy themselves and not feel any anguish when coming to the course each week. So please, when things gets a little tense, don’t forget, S.U.C.K.  It’s a great feeling. 

There is so much to talk about like welcoming back Austin Wells! You owe the GCCGL commissioner’s office money! Or like Big Donkey beating Toby’s card despite having to give away 32 strokes. That’s not a typo. Mike Harris has accomplished a LOT in the GCCGL but this might be the single most impressive feat to date. Or how our two super subs, Gosney and Harris are leading the league in wins and points. 

Please see the information from our very own Jeff Capannari “Cap”, and the KTO Classic Golf Outing. There are a couple of foursomes from the GCCGL already participating unfortunately, I’m not in any of them but I wouldn’t mind participating and giving to a good cause. If anyone is interested in playing in a foursome with PW, please let me know. Or if you want to form your own foursome, please contact Cap.

The big winners this week were Return of the Cletus who snagged (25 points). They were led by Snoodles who took 8 points. Go Putt Yourself and Dude Where’s Your Par? nabbed (22 points), They were led by Goldie (6.5 pts.) and The Assissin (7 pts.) respectively. The low-net winners were Gosney (A/B) with a low net 33 and PW & Cletus (C/D) with a low net 33. Great rounds gentlemen.  Congratulations! It’s the Pink Ball scramble this week!  Make sure you get a sub within 3 strokes of your HC if you can’t make it. We hope to see you on the course and as always, hit ’em straight!

The Portuguese Warrior – GCCGL co-commissioner