2023 – Week 13
It was 3:55pm and I was running late because of work. I’m hearing thunder outside and it’s pouring rain. Cletus is sending me emails wanting to know if I’m calling off week 13 of the GCCGL. I didn’t respond at first, I’m busy at work Cletus. We’re all not retired and finished with our daily activities by 10am! Now he’s calling me on the phone and leaving me voice messages. Leave me alone Cletus! I’m not cancelling league play 1 hour and 11 minutes before tee time! PW’s getting a little cranky now. My lower back is killing me because I pulled it again last Sunday to the point where I couldn’t even drive my car until Wednesday. Speaking of cars, I had to scramble on Thursday night just to get to the golf course because all of a sudden, I couldn’t get my 18 1/2 yr old car out of park! I commandeered my wife’s car just before she left the house and told her she’d have to use my daughter’s car. When she asked why, I told her it was an emergency, my car is broke and it’s GCCGL time baby! If there was one person who had every excuse to NOT play golf last Thursday, it was PW! And yet, I found myself surrounded by 11 GCCGL members, standing around just inside the clubhouse doors, begging for me to officially call off the round. Why? So that they could get home to watch So Help Me Todd starring the exquisite Marcia Gay Harden and her young dashing co-star, Skylar Astin? Has this what the GCCGL has become?
After taking an initial poll of who wanted to wait it out and who wanted to go home, it was 11-to-1 in favor of going home. This included Syndrome (on the phone) who didn’t even bother taking off those bacteria trap slippers of his and drive to the course. Et tu Syndrome? Et tu? Believe it or not, even Ollie, who NEVER says no to a round of golf, sided with the naysayers. PW was the only hold out. And do you know why? It was approximately 5:15pm, the rain was letting up and the sun was coming out. The radar showed a break in the weather with another cluster of potential inclement weather about an hour and half away. Granted, all the leagues had cancelled or were in the process of cancelling according to the clubhouse, but to be honest, the longer we waited in the clubhouse, the nicer it got outside. My thought process was simple, we could easily get half the round in before the next round of clouds made it to Independence, KY. If we did get hit, we take cover or drive back to the clubhouse, wait for 10 minutes to let it pass over us and then resume our last few holes. We’ve done this dozens of times in the last 28 years of this league. What is the big deal?
As more and more GCCGL members began showing up, I started asking them if they wanted to play or go home. Winkler was the 2nd player to wanted to play. It’s now 11-to-2 in favor of not playing. We’re making progress! So I decide to poll the members who are standing around and all the newly arriving members. It was pretty even. Some of the folks who earlier wanted to go home, have now voted in favor of playing. It was now approximately 5:45pm and I made the decision to play. Week 13 of the GCCGL is on and it COUNTS M’FERS!
Exactly 1/3 of the league wound up with a NO SHOW / NO SUB status. You all know how this story ends. The inclement weather never materialized and it was actually a beautiful summer evening with a slight north-easterly breeze and not a single drop of drain. Thank you to those who stayed and played. And to those who didn’t, let me know how the latest episode of Young Sheldon turned out.
This was PW’s first test as the new GCCGL Weather Czar. I think I did pretty good. Look, if it would have been raining at tee time, we would not have played. The days of playing through “tornadic” weather like we did back in May 2019 in this GCCGL post are over. But July 13, 2023 was not THAT. There are 7 weeks left in the 2023 GCCGL season. I basically have 6 weeks of golf left for the year (I won’t be there for the last scramble). So, I’ll be damned if I’m going to cancel play due to the “threat” of rain. And as long as I have a say in running this league, I’m dedicated to keeping it fair, fun, and above all, entertaining for everyone involved.
In other news, the foursomes and tee times got all screwed up due to the weather delay. This led to another cart jockey incident with the first group (Winkler, Cletus, Almeida) going out as a threesome with three carts. The cart jockey, once again, waited in the wings to pounce. I swear to God, this guy “lives” for this shit. He made me and Cletus consolidate our carts even though we were the only league on the course. PW and the cart jockey got into a war of words while Cletus, remarkably, was the voice of reason. I tried explaining to the guy that our schedule got all screwed up because of the weather and a bunch of no shows but he didn’t care and started yelling and cursing at me about how he “makes $8 a f’ing hr and doesn’t have to take this shit”. That’s the actual quote. Cletus is my witness. At that point I responded with, “Hey, I make $0 / hr running this god-forsaking league and you don’t see me complaining!“ OK, I didn’t say that, but I wanted to. What I actually said was, “Oh, that’s real nice, how you talk to your customers“. He then responded with, “It’s the same shit with you guys every week“. I’m kind of done with this place but our options are limited. The chaos with the tee times caused Ollie to be a lone player so instead of going out as a fivesome, Mr. Harris (Big Donkey’s dad) said he would play with Ollie. Man, he really looks like Mike, doesn’t he? Perhaps this is a glimpse of the future, Big Donkey and his pal Ollie, playing really long rounds on summer afternoons in Northern KY.
The big winners this week were Return of the Cletus who beat the second place Meat-Balls (23-17). They were led by Cletus, who scratched out 7.5 points. Dude Where’s My Par? narrowly defeated Courtesy Tap-Ins (20.5-19.5). They were led by Parvese who nabbed 6.5 points. Courtesy Tap-Ins are mired in one of the longest and maybe THE longest losing streak in the GCCGL history (9 weeks). Yikes!. The low net winners were Gosney again (A/B) with a low net 32 and Crowe/Welling/Cletus (C/D) with a low net 34. In case you are wondering, Wonder Kid’s handicap did not go down, actually it increased by 1 stroke for the back 9 of the Pioneer. Sorry Snoodles. Congratulations to the winners! We continue match play on the Pioneer. We hope to see you on the course and as always, hit ’em straight!
The Portuguese Warrior – GCCGL co-commissioner
