2023 – Week 11

What do you think of when you think the Montezuma’s Revenge scramble? Do you know what I think? Oven mitts. That’s right, “oven mitts”. Teeing off with oven mitts is just fun and if I’m being honest, some of the best drives of my life have been with oven mitts. I know that’s not saying much, but still. If I have one complaint, it would be the oven mitts themselves. Co-commissioner Cupcake has been in charge of the oven mitts since the inception of GCCGL’s Montezuma’s Revenge event. I could be wrong, but I think this is the third year of the event. Apparently, it took three years to figure out that Cupcake bought 2 right-handed oven mitts! It took John “Syndrome” Rayburn to finally notice it and call it out on the tee box. I know we are supposedly in a recession, inflation is still at all-time highs and things are tough all over but is the GCCGL in that bad of financial straits? I guess there was a reason why these were for sale at the Dollar Store.

It would be bad enough if that was all that was wrong with the oven mitts but it wasn’t. The first group to tee off began immediately complaining about the oven mitts feeling a little “moist”. So I tried them on and I confirmed they were more than a bit clammy. There was definitely an inordinate amount of dampness for sure. Is anyone else experiencing a bad case of jock itch on their hands? God damn it Cupcake! I can forgive your cheap ass for buying these oven mitts at the Dollar Store but couldn’t you just have washed them for Pete’s sake? Now I have to apply an over-the-counter anti-fungal cream twice a day on my hands. I have mushrooms growing under my fingernails and my palms smell like ass because you’re too lazy to throw them in with your delicates before the round. Thanks a lot.

Check out the first tee shot of the 2023 Oven Mitt Challenge and watch our own beloved Syndrome lace one long and straight down the fairway! I guess it is true what they say, the camera does add 10 pounds, maybe 20, no more than 30-ish pounds…

There was a moment during the beginning of the round where the conditions turned a little ominess. The radar was lit up like a Christmas tree and it didn’t look good. Without mentioning any names, I heard some members were halfway to the parking lot at the first gust of wind. As a matter of fact, the St. John’s golf league was in the clubhouse getting rain checks before a drop of rain ever hit the pavement. Huh? What kind of pansy-ass league is that? The storm blew over and never materialized and we had a pretty nice evening. Aren’t you glad that you play for the GCCGL and not one of those “other” leagues?

Is it me or does Lip Gloss know way too many Taylor Swift songs? #KKisaSwiftie

We have a new GCCGL leader, Return of the Cletus has moved into first place! Once again, Montezuma’s Revenge is responsible for some major movement in the standings. The first-place team, Meat Balls, stumbled and finished dead last in the scramble. They find themselves 12 points behind the front-runners. We have a race folks!

The big winners this week were Return of the Cletus and Crow Dog Millionaires who finished tied for first place. The closest-to-the-pin winners were Crowe (A/B) and Jim Allen (C/D). Congratulations to the winners! It is the US Open match-play event this week. We hope to see you on the course and as always, hit ’em straight!

The Portuguese Warrior – GCCGL co-commissioner