2019 – Week 9
Good day GCCGL members! PW is back after a two-week hiatus feeling refreshed and ready to roll. Unfortunately, while on vacation, I started to feel some pain in the lower right-side abdomen right in the same area where I’ve had multiple hernias in the past. It’s been lingering for a couple of months and has gotten progressively worse to the point where walking, standing and coughing became uncomfortable. Fearing the worst, I started looking for a sub for this week’s GCCGL match play and like most other members, there were none to be found. For Pete’s sake, securing a sub this week was as rare as finding a redneck with all his teeth. What’s going on with our subs? I guess it doesn’t help when KK starts referring to subs like they’re some sort of sub-human species unworthy of the respect and dignity they deserve. I can’t speak for members of the 2nd place team, I’d Tap That or their aspersions towards substitutes. I can only vouch for myself and my team, Wrath of Serkan. We LOVE our subs and welcome them to sub for our team any time. At any rate, I’ve gone off track as usual. So, I found myself with no sub and facing the possibility of having to play my card against Big Donkey. I can tell you; my card would not have fared well (my card would have lost 7-3). I could not do that to my team. I could not crush Nick “Potter” Duer’s dream of his first ever championship. Therefore, I decided to play. What’s the worst that could happen? I lose 8-2, 9-1? I figured; it couldn’t be worse than playing my card. I have a new mantra, “Swing Slow Stupid”. This is what I was forced to do and I got lucky and put together a good round for me (-5 under my handicap) and won my match. Oh, by the way, I went to the doctor’s and am happy to confirm that I DO NOT have another hernia! It would have been my fourth. It’s just a muscle strain.
I’m not sure of all the details regarding this next topic but word around town was that Cletus was up to his shenanigans once again. Folks were not happy about Cletus apparently making a commitment to sub for Han Solo, then backing off and subbing for Potter instead. It worked out for Han Solo in the end but the natives were not happy with Cletus. I really don’t know what happened. Did Cletus commit and then realized he couldn’t sub and dropped out only to find out later in the week that his plans had changed and he was now available to sub and just happened to speak to Potter at the right time? Did Potter make a better offer as was rumored? Was there an offer at all? Is Potter washing Cletus’ car for the rest of the summer? Or is it as simple as Cletus just doesn’t like short people? Who knows? But if I were you Cletus, I’d keep an eye out for potential ninja-like sneak attacks particularly around the Inside Sales area. Be wary of disgruntled folks hiding on top of the toilets in the bathroom stalls and meticulously examine your cafeteria food before eating. There was even talk about a Cletus boycott for his subbing services. You know what I have to say to that? Come on down to the friendly confines of team, Wrath of Serkan! We accept ALL SUBS!
Lipgloss and Cupcake are out of pocket for the next week or two. That means you are stuck with PW and will receive the absolute minimum effort humanly possible in regards to the weekly spreadsheet and tee times. In fact, we may go old school and tee up on a first come, first serve basis. If you’re expecting me to write a Kreyling Korner blog, think again. Any guest blogger volunteers for this week’s Kreyling Korner? There will be no surveys, no witty emails with additional statistics, no nothin’. It’s not personal, I’m just making sure that I set your expectations accordingly. In other news, a discrepancy was found on the scorecard for Captain Hairy and Fusting; something about a 5 should have been a 6 or a 6 looked like a 5. Who knows? This is why every match should be verified by each player. The card should be reviewed by each match play pair, agreed upon, signed and turned in to co-commissioner Cupcake. It’s all in the GCCGL rules and by-laws. It is a lot of work to enter this information and upload it to the website database so I don’t blame CC for not changing the scores once it has been posted. Therefore, if you want to make sure your score is accurate, figure it out yourselves on the course BEFORE turning your cards into Cupcake.
The big winners this week were I’d Tap That (25 points). They were led by Lip Gloss and Harmeling who both nabbed 6.5 points. Wrath of Serkan continues to narrowly hold on to the first place slot after grabbing (23 points). They were led by PW who stole 7 points. Just a note, team I’d Tap That, had 3 of 4 matches against the card. I’m not insinuating anything; I’m just pointing out a fact. It is a close race for first place with only 2 points separating the top two teams. The next closest team is 34 points away but that is not insurmountable. There is plenty of season left. The low net winners were Boot Boy (A/B) with a low net of 33 and Captain Hairy (C/D) with a low net of 29. Congratulations to the winners! We continue to play on the Willows front 9 this week. If you can’t make it, please give one of our subs a chance to play.
We leave you this week with a clip from one of my favorite movies. It’s appropriate given all the bad weather we’ve experienced this season. Happy Father’s Day!`
We hope to see you on the course and as always, hit ‘em straight!
Clearly, Cletus is a sneaky, conniving little weasel, but in all honesty, I bet this time his Alzheimer’s kicked in and he just plain forgot he already agreed to sub for someone else.
If I were to engage the old man’s golf services in the future, I’d probably email him every hour to remind him of his commitment.