2019 – Week 5

We are officially through 25% of the season. Do you know what that means? It’s time to step back and assess how things have gone so far. We’ve been rained on 4 of the 5 weeks which is typical for this crazy league. The golf Gods have been tipped off about our unconventional methods; running over other players’ balls, farting during their backswings, gallery formations in bunkers and being less than sympathetic when someone tops one off the tee. Our utter disrespect for the sanctity of this game is our punishment but it is also what separates us from all other golf leagues and what makes the GCCGL, the league that it is today. So, if we have to deal with a little rain seemingly every Thursday, so be it. Unless that course is closed, we’re playing!

Wrath of Serkan has gotten off to a great start. Over the first quarter of the year, this team has the most scramble points, the most team points, the best won/loss record and is currently riding a 5 game winning streak. They’ve been bolstered by their top two players, Pete “Goldie” Goldenberg and Nick “Potter” Duer who are both off to fantastic starts. All of that is great but the fact remains that even with such a hot start they still only lead by 9.5 points over the second place team I’d Tap That. Speaking of the second place team, I’d Tap That, they aren’t doing too shabby themselves. Kurt “Lip Gloss” Kreyling is arguably off to one of the best individual starts in GCCGL history. He’s undefeated in match play (4-0), he leads the Points Championship race with 28.5 points and is averaging an astounding 7.1 point average! Which, by the way in my humble opinion, is one of the most important and meaningful statistical categories.

Bill “need a nickname” Nixon has defied the GCCGL freshman jinx thus far. Everyone knows about the “league effect” conundrum by now. Over the 24 years of this league, other than Brian “Scratch” Turnwald, first-year players have struggled mightily in their inaugural year. Not Nixon. He’s lighting it up and could turn out to be the steal of the draft. Nixon is off to a 3-0-1 start in match play, is in second place with 24.5 points in the Points Championship race and is currently averaging a very respectable 6.1 point average and is keeping Burmuda Knights in the race. Nixon may be short in stature but he’s swinging a big stick right now. I know what you are thinking, how the hell does PW have the nerve to call out another person for being “short in stature”? Let me fill you in on a little secret. Short guys know they’re short. They’ve been short all their lives, except for when they were 5 years old. Here’s another secret, bald guys know their bald. In my case, I’m both bald AND short! I don’t know what I did in a prior life to deserve this but it really doesn’t bother me but what DOES bother me is that I have apparently started to shrink! Yes, it’s true. I went for a physical and they measured me and I’m down a full inch vertically! Dang! I don’t have that much to give in the first place and now I have to deal with this? Isn’t is bad enough that I’ve been reduced to nothing more than an end table for the likes of guys like Snoodles and Big Donkey? If this “significant shrinkage” continues at this rapid pace, I’ll have to dust off the kids’ booster seat just to drive myself to work. On the bright side, my 4^th-grade Winnie The Pooh onesies pajamas fit me again.
 

Sorry about that. I had to get that off my tiny chest. Anyway, back this week’s blog. We managed to have a little bit of a controversy this past week when 3 of the 5 groups decided to tee off from the Gold tees on the Pioneer #9 hole. Come on guys, how long have we been teeing off from the black tees on this hole? Three, four years? Maybe more? What the heck? Does Lip Gloss really have to remind you about playing from the back tees on this hole every stinking time we play the Pioneer front? Everyone knows that this hole is not a true Par 5 from the Gold Tees. That’s why we all decided to play from the back years ago. If memory serves me, we all voted on it and it was agreed upon by the entire league. I’m sure co-commissioner Cupcake might be able to dig up the exact survey or vote from a few years ago if you need proof. I can understand if the mistake was made by some of the league’s newer members but it wasn’t. Das Boot, you’ve been in this league for 10 years! You obviously were here when this was instituted years ago. What in the world would have given you any indication that this changed all of a sudden? To be fair, the way I heard it, Das Boot, who was in the second group, did try to call the first group to verify where they hit from but of course, folks aren’t picking up their phones during golf play. Not everyone in the second group agreed with the decision to tee off from the Gold Tees but unfortunately, this started a chain reaction for the third and fourth groups who also teed off from the Gold Tees. The last group (my group) fell behind so we didn’t get to see what was taking place. We teed off from the Black Tees as did the First Group. This did have an effect on low net winnings. If it were up to me, I would have disqualified anyone who hit from the Gold Tees from any low net winnings but Cupcake had already posted the numbers and updated the blog database so we didn’t do that. What’s done is done. Let me state here for the last time, when we play the Pioneer Front Hole #9, we tee off from the BACK TEES for the remainder of this league’s existence.

We play our third special event this Thursday, The Stableford Scramble. This is the one event where teams can make a big move in the standings. If you can’t make it, please remember that normal scramble subbing rules apply.

The low let winners were Bill “Richard” Nixon (A/B) with a low net of 29 and *Das Boot (C/D) with a low net of 28. That one comes with a BIG asterisk. Congratulations to the winners! We continue on the front of the Pioneer for Stableford Scramble! This could be a huge moving week for the 2019 season. If you can’t make it, please give one of our subs a chance to play. We hope to see you on the course and as always, hit ‘em straight!

The Portuguese Warrior – GCCGL co-commissioner