Singing Syndrome

I woke up the other morning after another wonderful night of sleep and looked at my phone like I do every morning and what I found has affected me in the most profound way. Overnight, I received a barrage of texts and pictures from the Vegas Four. It was one heck of a wake up call for this little Portuguese guy. One of the images struck me a particularly interesting so I had to splash some water on my face, rub the sleep out of my eyes and put on my reader glasses. After my eyes focused, the next words out of my mouth were, “What the hell did Syndrome do?!”

I know, I know. It’s disturbing. But if I had to see it, so do you! You can’t unsee something like this. I could have gone the rest of my life without laying my eyes on whatever “this is”. It’s burned into my brain and now it’s burned into yours. You can image my first thoughts. I didn’t even know Syndrome played guitar! It’s 5:30 AM in Kentucky and I’m trying to process this and I immediately wonder if the Vegas crew were slipped some roofies like in The Hangover movie.  Like a spectacular car crash on the highway, I just couldn’t look away and studied this picture in disbelief wondering if I’d ever play golf with my friend at Lassing Point ever again. But after a few minutes, I realized that this couldn’t be Syndrome. This imposter is in much better shape. Whew!

The Vegas trip did take its toll on the boys. The fearsome foursome of Big Donkey, Snoodles, Potter and Syndrome were a little worse for wear but they made it back from Vegas (barely). This group may have survived Vegas but they barely survived Week 17 of the GCCGL. I know you all love numbers so here are some for you. You might think after several rounds of golf and countless sessions at the range and putting greens that The Vegas Clan would be ready to conquer the GCCGL when they got back but the numbers tell a different story.

Those are some telling numbers right there. Granted, the boys all looked a little green around the gills and were certainly not 100%. But how much of it was due to the Vegas aftereffects and how much of it can be attributed to the mysterious League Affect? I’m not sure we’ll ever know. One thing for sure, I’m carrying a generous bottle of hand sanitizer around me at all times when around this crew (at least for the next couple of weeks). I’m not a doctor or anything but whatever they contracted out there in the desert doing who-knows-what with who-knows-whom, should be out of their system by Labor Day.

I’m seriously pressed for time so I gotta wrap this up. The big winners this week were the Bermuda Knights (22.5) points. That’s two wins in a row as this team continues to play the spoiler role and tries to climb out of the basement. They were led by Han Solo (8.5 pts) who has gotten hot all of a sudden. Not So Perfect Attendance finished with (21) points and are still hanging around sniffing second place. They were led by Couzin’ Joe and The Politician who both nabbed 6.5 points each. Wrath of Serkan snapped their losing streak (barely) with (20.5) points. The Assassin had 7.5 points to lead the team.

The low net winners were Couzin’ Joe (A/B) with a low net 31 and Han Solo (again) with a low net 30. Congratulations to the winners! We move to the back of Willows for the remaining match play events. If you can’t make it, please give one of our subs a chance to play but don’t bother calling Brian “Scratch” Turnwald. He ONLY subs for I’d Tap That or for teams that are playing against their competition. This guy is never available for anyone all season long but somehow he’s ready and raring to go when I’d Tap That needs him. Listen, I’m not saying anything nefarious is going on here but what I am saying is… “I’m on to you Cupcake!” How this guy ever got voted, “most trust-worthy” commissioner, I’ll never know! I think he fudged the results.

We hope to see you on the course and as always, hit ‘em straight!

The Portuguese Warrior – GCCGL co-commissioner