2017 – Week 20

It’s a bit nippy outside as I write this final blog post of the season on a nice chilly early September day while relaxing on my deck furniture but I’m not cold. Instead, I’m warm and mellow because I’m enjoying some of Uncle Cletus’ home-made apple-pie hard cider. Mmmm-mmmm it’s so GOOD. Cletus, you need to bottle that up and start selling it! I already trademarked the Uncle Cletus Homemade Apple Pie™ brand so I guess we’re business partners now.

Congratulations to the 2017 GCCGL Champions, the Young Guns (Scratch, Marge, Miller and Squirts). They actually clinched the championship on week 19. That’s the first time that has happened in a very long time. I can’t remember the last time that happened. The trophies have been ordered and we’ll schedule the annual GCCGL luncheon within the next two weeks. I suppose congratulations is also in order for Strait to Church who finished an impressive -7 in the final scramble to leap over Dropping Deuces and finish in 2^nd place. Dropping Deuces dropped into 3^rd place but still finished in the money despite finishing dead last in the Florida Scramble and climbing all the way back. This team was the first and most likely the last preassembled team in the post-draft era of the GCCGL and was pretty much picked to finish dead last by every GCCGL member. Instead, they finished in front of three other teams so overall I think it was a successful campaign.

It all started with the J.E.T.S. winning the Florida Scramble on week 1. Their rein at the top was short-lived and they eventually wound up finishing in 5^th place. The Portuguese Warrior was unavailable to blog during week 2 as he was golfing in Myrtle Beach so instead, everyone was treated to another true embarrassing childhood story about the shaming of 8 year olds in front of their peers . Birdies, Eagles and a Crowe took first place after Prince Albert “mitch-slapped” Goldie all over the course on week 3. Who knew this would be BEC’s last hurrah before their decent to the cold, dark and lonely abyss of the GCCGL basement. You got a taste of  “angry” George on the week 4 blog post after Squirts put a world class beat down on PW. All the rain throughout the season finally caught up with us on week 6 when a major mudslide occurred on Willows #9 after Syndrome almost broke a hip when he slipped down the slope wearing his flip flops. Week 6 also was the week where the first ever perfectly executed FLUMP was performed. As everyone knows, the attendance this season was less than stellar due to the lack of participation from our wonderful subs. Therefore a new reward system was introduced on week 7 offering manly massages and other enticing prizes. Week 7 also included a GCCGL WARNING to all members regarding dangerous junk biting bugs lurking in the woods of the Kenton County Golf Courses. Over the next two weeks, you were treated to the curious musings of Syndrome as he filled in as the GCCGL blogger. We were all treated to a video of PW choking under the pressure of the dreaded gallery and you also learned of his true feelings regarding substitutes. Week 12 was HUGE as Strait to Church and Just End the Season pulled off a blockbuster trade and the league reaped the benefits with a whole bunch of bacon and beer the following week. As a result, Potter wound up on a winning team and got a little slice of the $$ despite doing everything he could to keep STC from the top 3. Potter, do the right thing, forfeit your 40% piece of the 3rd place winnings to Meat and forget this trade ever happened. Things got a little saucy during Lip Gloss’ Kreyling Korner on week 15. Battle Golf was another huge hit this season as the league tried to stir up some much needed controversy. So there you have it, 20 weeks of the 2017 GCCGL wrapped up in one paragraph. It was another fun season despite half the league not being in contention.

This season marked Cletus’ last as a full time member as he announced his retirement in a formal ceremony over some wings and libations on the Barleycorn’s patio after the final scramble. He finishes his career with a strong season, going 9-4 and piling up 73.5 points in just 13 matches after coming off surgery. He will continue on as a sub so we have not heard the last from the old man. We had a very nice turn out for the last post-round gathering at Barelycorn’s but there was one noticeable person missing. Co-commissioner Cupcake chose to go to the UC football game instead of celebrating another successful GCCGL season. This prompted Big Donkey to proclaim, “Watching UC football is like watching Mississippi lacrosse!”  – BD 2017. Hard to argue that sentiment.  On the way to Barleycorn’s, Syndrome was rear-ended by a 60 year old woman in a Lexus at the intersection of Turkeyfoot and Thomas More Parkway. Several of us were just a few cars behind him. As I arrived, I did NOT notice the accident but I DID notice that the light turned green and nothing was happening. I just figured some yahoo was on their phone not paying attention. As the light was getting ready to turn yellow, my east coast instincts kicked in and I callously veered out of the line and floored it around the commotion.  That’s when I first realized there was an accident but I didn’t care. I noticed a couple of people outside their cars but I didn’t pay attention to who it was. I was too busy concentrated on beating the light so I can get to Barleycorn’s. Another car, right behind me did the same thing. I barely beat the yellow light so the car behind me had to have caught the red light but apparently it didn’t matter to him either. I found out later that the car behind me was Potter! It figures that the two east coast guys don’t stop to help out their fellow human beings during their time of need. In my defense, I didn’t know it was Syndrome but Potter did and he still kept going. He had a choice, help Syndrome or get a good seat and a cold beer at Barleycorns. I think he made the right decision.

Birdies, Eagles and a Crowe finishes the season as the worst team in GCCGL history as they failed to accumulate 300 points averaging less than 15 team points per week. Yikes! They supplant the 2016 team of Gamblers Fallacy who held the distinction of being the worst team for only one year. The final scramble results are as follows:

The Closest-to-the-pin winners were Scratch (A/B) and Crowe (C/D). Congratulations to the winners!

I’d like to thank my fellow co-commissioners Jason Nill and Kurt Kreyling for everything they do for this league. It really is a lot of work and takes a lot of personal time running the best golf league in the region. They pay is terrible and the benefits are even worse but they help me do it anyway. A lot goes on behind the scenes including handling the finances, statistics, handicaps, tee times, surveys, Kreyling Korner as well as continuing to come up with fresh ideas to keep the GCCGL entertaining, competitive and relevant. I really can’t thank them enough so the next time you see one of these guys in the hallway, stop and thank them for their commitment and give them a BRAVO. Without them, there would be no GCCGL. So THANK YOU!

Because this league is so much fun and we are not ready for it to end, a few of us are planning to keep it going and continue golfing on Thursday night. No match play, just playing your game and enjoying the company. If you are interested in playing, please email me so we have an idea of how many folks to expect. We will probably be playing the Willows front.

Thank you to everyone who participated in the league this season. We hope to see you back next year. The trophies and money prizes will be distributed in a couple of weeks at our annual GCCGL luncheon. You will receive an email from the commissioner’s office with further details. YOU, the GCCGL members, are the ones who make this league interesting and fun. On behalf of my co-commissioners, we thank you and hope to see you back next season!

George Almeida – GCCGL co-commissioner