2016 – Week 2
First let me apologize for the late blog update. Sometimes life gets in the way and the GCCGL blog has to take a back seat. It turned out to be a beautiful day last Thursday even though the forecast didn’t look all that great. We had a perfect turnout for the second straight week thanks to four substitutes, Hagner, Verst, Nixon and Glaser. Thanks guys!
It was a quiet week, not much to blog about really so I’ll get right to it. It was a rough night to say the least. Over 80% of golfers finished over par this week! Granted, the back nine of the Willows can be punishing and unforgiving, especially when the conditions are not ideal. Drenched fairways and heavy winds turned out to be the perfect recipe for some really bad golf. But it wasn’t all terrible. For example, in my foursome, Kenny G and I got the opportunity to get reacquainted as we hiked through the woods together for most of the round. The nature was beautiful, we saw a squirrel. It was the highlight of both our nights.
The newest survey results are in and it was an interesting one, “Who is the “luckiest” golfer in the GCCGL?” Goldie edged out a couple of others and seemed quite annoyed by the whole thing. Granted, Goldie is perpetually annoyed anyway but he seemed a little more perturbed than usual. For example, he vowed to call his opponent by the name of “Turdwald” all night long. An obvious childish play on Scratch’s surname. Now, now Goldie, that’s not funny…………ok, it’s kind of funny but only because bathroom humor has a direct line to my funny bone. I know, I know…..a man of my importance, the GCCGL founder and co-commissioner, should be above all this crude and lewd behavior but I can’t help it! It’s why my favorite movies include classics like Dumb and Dumber, Animal House and the recently released Deadpool. By the way, there seems to be a movement amongst the league to come up with a new nickname for Turnwald (Scratch).
Trade rumors are rampant, especially after Lip Gloss posted a 50 this past week. Cupcake has LG on a short leash and is wheeling and dealing out in the open and isn’t being shy about it. He’s given LG and ultimatum, shape up or ship out! Some of the trades being discussed include:
- Roddy + bourbon (amount/brand T.B.D.) for Kreyling
- Bachmann + bourbon (Pappy Van Winkle, quantity T.B.D.) for Kreyling with stipulations that if Bachmann needs a sub, Gamblers Fallacy is guaranteed a replacement with at least a 3 stroke better HC (a pending legal contract would need to be written up for penalties assuming that doesn’t happen)
The thing about trades and trade rumors that you have to remember is that there is another person involved in the trade. In an exclusive, off-the-record, interview with Gobstopper, which is now on-the-record, he was very upset and confessed his feelings about a potential trade going from the upcoming team of Three Men and a Sub to the faltering Gamblers Fallacy. He’s settling in nicely, he just moved his family into a new house and is concerned about having to uproot his entire life. The big guy is threatening to sit out the 2016 season if traded. As a matter of fact, the only GOOD thing about this trade is that he wouldn’t have to be on the same team as Cletus.
As many of you know by now, Bleaker has been suspended for “conduct detrimental to the league”. However, there’s been some very light, almost non-existent, irrelevant chatter of potentially filing an appeal to get him reinstated as early as this Summer. In another GCCGL exclusive, Bleaker has petitioned the commissioner’s office sending in the following poem:
Missing the league will be awful,
My ban will be seen as unlawful,
At least I won’t hear,
Over a cold beer,
About Syndrome’s Blue ……? (Fill in the blank. I don’t know what that means, but it brought a tear to my eye)
Bleaker – circa 2016
After the round, several of us headed out to BW’s. Several members converged at one of the stop lights on route 17 including Cupcake, Couzin’ Joe and Lip Gloss. CJ and LG were behind Cupcake in his 2001 Subaru Outback family sedan which happened to be side-by-side a shiny, souped up Ford Mustang. Oh boy. It was at this moment that the driver of the Mustang met Cupcake’s glazed eyes and without hesitation, it was on! The light turned green and both cars went from 0 – 60 in no time! Yes, they were drag racing! Seriously?! Who do you think you are Cupcake? Rydell High’s rebel greaser, Danny Zuko, racing for “pinks” with Kenicke and doing the hand jive with Rizzo and Sandy? Grow up brother! Put your blinker on and move over to the slow lane like the rest of us old farts. You know what’s really sad about those last few sentences? The millennials in this league have no friggin’ clue what I’m talking about! My talent is being wasted. By the way…….Cupcake smoked him!
With that behind us, let’s get to the results of the first match play of the year. The big winners were Three Men and Sub who spanked Grandpa’s Cough Medicine (24.5 – 15.5). They were led by Scratch who nabbed 7.5 points. Right behind them, The Prince Albert Syndrome who crushed Laying 8 (23.5 – 16.5). They were led by, the myth, the man, the legend, Syndrome who grabbed 7 points. Protein for Peffercorn defeated Gamblers Fallacy 22 – 18). They were led by Couzin’ Joe who managed 7 points.
The low net winners were Harris/Turnwald (A/B) with a low net 35 and Bloomhuff (C/D) with a low net 36. Congratulations to the winners! We move to the friendly confines of the Pioneer for the next four weeks. Check out the latest installment of The Prince Albert Chronicles. I think this kid has a bright future ahead of him as a golf league blogger, no? It’s match play again this week. Please get a sub if you can’t make it. We hope to see you on the course and as always, hit ‘em straight!
George Almeida – GCCGL Co-Commissioner
