2014 – Week 3
It was a beautiful day for week 3 of the GCCGL. Sunny and 85 degrees, a 30 degree difference between last week and this week. Welcome to Cincinnati! For the third week in a row, we had perfect attendance. Only 15 more weeks to go for a perfect attendance season! One of the reasons for this is due to the fact that Syndrome has perfect attendance three weeks into the season. Another reason is because of the three substitutes who filled in this past week. A big thanks to Zach McNeil, Nick Miller and Seth Brooks!
The day started off just like any other day…..with a little trash talkin’. But it didn’t come from your usual suspects (you know who you are…Cletus, Goldie). Instead it came from a GCCGL rookie, Seth Brooks. As he was feeding co-commissioner Lipgloss scores with no cards to inflate his handicap just before his match with me, he stated that “Almeida has no chance”. His first mistake wasn’t the trash talking, it was trusting LG. Kreyling immediately forwarded the email to me and it was on. What did he think KK would do? We are on the same team, of course he’s going to feed me any intel that may be to my advantage. Who is Seth Brooks anyway? Isn’t he a country singer? Why is he disrespecting the Portuguese warrior? As more information poured in, it became obvious that the kid made a rookie mistake. Co-commissioner Cupcake told Brooks, during one of his trash talking rants, that he’d shoot in the mid-50’s and he did. He also incredibly predicted Miller’s epic round. Co-commissioner Cupcake, the prognosticator of prognosticators? I certainly wasn’t happy with my round, but it was a win and could have and should have been a much bigger win. But hey, it was my first match play of the year and only the second time on the golf course this season. One good thing that came out of this was a list of potential nick names for the young Brooks; Trash Talker, Co-op and The “New” Golf Angel. We’ll throw some darts and see what sticks.
As the gallery waited, for what seemed like forever, for the last group to arrive, somehow the conversion got around to my “hair” or lack of it AGAIN. As usual, I wasn’t surprised by the lack of thought-provoking dialog amongst the gallery, but just once I’d like to be surprised. It started when I made a comment about shaving my beard because it makes me look older than I already am and Ollie chimed in about the grey hair. I responded by informing him that the only reason his beard isn’t grey is because he colors it. He denied it of course and to his credit he’s sticking with that illusion. That’s when Syndrome corrected me and stated that Ollie doesn’t “technically” color his beard, he just lets the color drip down from his hair. I stand corrected, please accept my apologies Ollie. From there, someone asked the question; what color does it state my hair is on my driver’s license? Now that peaked the curiosity of approximately half dozen of us. Finally, some real intellectually stimulating conversation was developing! Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like anyone would mistake this bunch with even the dumbest of Mensa members, but it was an intriguing query. I didn’t know what my hair color stated on my driver’s license. So I took it out and low and behold, there is no mention of hair color on my KY license. So now, by this time, there’s about 6 of us, with our wallets out, looking at our driver’s license to see if the hair color is on there. It turns out that OH licenses do state the hair color whereas KY licenses do not. It was at this point that Syndrome, states the obvious and says, “Why would you need hair color on there, your picture is already on the license”. So true….and they make fun of KY. Maybe it’s time to look in the mirror Ohio. For the record, the color of my hair is……….bald. Let me mercifully end this scintillating segment by just saying this. What’s the big deal regarding my chrome dome anyway? There are several other bald or balding guys in this league, you know. We’ve all heard the names a million times; Fester, Bubblehead, Lollipop, Curly, Baldy, Mellonhead, Ziggy, Mr. Clean, Costanza, Egghead, Baldilocks, etc… It’s not like there’s an exclusive club out there for bald guys….oh wait…..there kind of is. Anyway, whatever happened to “bald is beautiful”? Any Kojak fans out there? Besides, most of us come into this world dumb, drooling, wrinkled, bald and in diapers for the first couple of years and if we’re being totally honest here, the majority of us (especially men), will leave this world the same way.
The GCCGL standings are in flux! The big winners this week were the Putt Pirates who schooled Balls and Dolls (28 – 12). Yikes! They were led by fellow cue-ball, Kurt Kreyling who earned 8.5 points. This has moved Putt Pirates up another slot in the standings and into 3rd place, 8.75 points behind the first place Das Boots are Made for Golfing. They defeated Carrier to the Hole and Duer (26.5 – 13.5). They were led by the suddenly hot putting machine, Danny Roller (8 points). Snoodles had only 13 putts this past round. He’s trying to start a rumor that his nickname “Snoodles” came about because he “snoodles” the ball close to the hole on the putting green. Hmm…..nice try Roller but we know the real reason. Schmuck Dynasty is sitting in second place after beating Morning Wood (23 – 17). They were led by Zeke Knechtges who scored 7 points. Morning Wood has dropped from first place to fourth place after winning the Florida scramble two weeks ago. After the round, Cletus was seen begging, pleading Lipgloss and Cupcake to trade Bleaker for him. We are three weeks into the season and he’s already jumping the proverbial sinking ship that is Balls and Dolls. But as co-commissioner Cupcake so eloquently put it, “That ship isn’t sinking, it’s officially on the ocean floor”.
The low net winners this week for the (A/B) group were Mike Harris, Danny Roller and George Remington with a low net of 33! They win a total of about $1.25 after splitting! Just kidding. The lone winner of the (C/D) group was Troy Bachmann with a low net 36. We move to the back nine of the Willows for the next two weeks. A shout out to co-commissioner Cupcake who inspired much of this week’s blog content with his weekly post round summary to the editor. Let’s try to make it four weeks in a row with perfect attendance. We hope to see you on the course and as always, hit ’em straight!
George Almeida – GCCGL founder and co-commissioner
