2014 – Week 15
Week 15 is in the books and we have only 3 weeks left (2 match play and the Best Ball Scramble). Once again, the weather was awesome. This has been a strange Cincinnati summer. I think we may have had one or two days that we played in 85+ degree weather all summer that I can remember. Not bad. We had near perfect attendance for the 2nd Annual Battle Golf event (23 of 24 ) golfers. If there is one event where you want all 24 golfers, it is this event. Unfortunately we fell one short. Rozell, where were you? A big thank you to the subs who did show up, Mitch Smith, Lori Straub, Ken Glaser and Mike Bush.
Once again, Battle Golf was a big hit. What I love about the BG event are the number of side stories that unfold. For example, before even teeing off for the event, Cletus somehow seemed to get into Bleeker’s head. Maybe it was because their match was the MOW but it was more likely the pressure of Battle Golf. Bleeker was a mess on the practice green. He was so confused, he hit an iron off the first tee! After the match started, Cletus pulled the silent treatment on young George which was the old man’s attempt at reverse psychology because George tried this tactic on Big Donkey a few weeks earlier. It didn’t work then and it didn’t work now. Remington quickly figured out what Cletus was up to and yelled out, “Oh I get it! You aren’t speaking to me!” This seemed to relax Bleeker and prompted an “over and under” betting pool between the rest of the foursome on how long Cletus would be able to ignore George. Cletus lasted two holes. On the third hole as Bleeker was addressing his tee shot, Cletus nuzzled up to Bleeker on the tee and yelled out, “Hit it straight George!” That was the end of the silent treatment. FYI, Bleeker won a close match (5.5 – 4.5). Staying on the practice green, Big Donkey was going through his pre-game routine as Lori Straub, who was subbing for one of his teammates (Big Ed) was headed for the clubhouse. BD spotted her and asked her if she was going to play from the “forward” tees to which she emphatically replied, “No” and kept walking without breaking stride. After about 5 seconds of silence, Big Donkey replied loudly, “You know I’m trying to win a championship here, don’t ya?” Too funny!
Other little tidbits started to emerge like co-commissioner Cupcake losing all his clubs to the Bushman and having to tee off with a 4-iron on the Par 5. Cupcake winds up with a bogey on the last hole but it still wasn’t enough as Bush who had been playing a lot of golf the week before at Myrtle Beach (3 full 18 hole rounds). It takes Cupcake 6 weeks to play that much golf! I take full responsibility for this shellacking since I jinxed my own teammate by blogging about his stellar play last week. Oh well, lesson learned. Prince Albert was also short of clubs and was reduced to using a 5-iron on the last hole! That’s what the Battle Golf event does to you, it forces you to get creative out there in order to survive the round. It can either spiral out of control or work out. Take my match with the Golf Angel for example. As I was getting thoroughly whipped, I found myself having to win the last hole just to scrape out 3.5 points. I was laying 2 about 130-135 yards from the #9 green. I go to pull a club from my bag; no 9 iron, no 8 iron, no 7 iron, not even a gap wedge. It’s all gone. Damn you Golf Angel! At first I pull out my pitching wedge but I know I can’t get it there, especially from the rough so my caddie, Nick “Potter” Duer and I discuss using a soft 6-iron since I still had to carry a tree in front of me. At least that gave me a shot of actually getting it to the green. I took a half swing and the minute I hit it, I thought it was way too soft and would be short but somehow how it landed on the green and rolled to about 20 feet of the pin. Unfortunately for me and my team, that was only one of a couple of highlights for me.
Staying in my foursome, while we were putting on hole #1, without warning, a ball comes flying on the green and bounces once and then proceeds to nail the Golf Angel in the chest. This ball was coming in hot since it was an errant drive from the 9th tee. There was absolutely no warning. The only indication any of us had was hearing the “thump” of the ball hitting the green. By then, it was too late but it did give Melissa, a split second to move her head up slightly to try and dodge the ball otherwise it would have hit her right in the face. To make matters worse, no one showed up for several minutes. After spending a few minutes making sure the Golf Angel was OK, we finished putting and walked to the 2nd tee. The group behind us now reached the green and we were waiting for the group in front of us to clear the fairway. I’d estimate it was approximately 10 – 15 minutes since Cember was struck and still no one showed up. Finally, as we get ready to tee off on the hole #2, a couple of Q-Tips in a cart came riding by the green and the last group told them they just hit one of our players. At the very least, the next thing that should have happened should have been an apology. Unfortunately, that didn’t occur. So therefore, I am taking this moment to apologize to Melissa for getting struck by the golf ball. It was my fault. We all know my history of getting hit with golf balls in this league. Anyone who plays in my foursome is at risk. I can’t explain it, I wish I could. It’s probably how I will kick the bucket someday. There are worse ways to go….
Hold onto your hats, the Big winners this week were Balls & Dolls who destroyed Putt Pirates (25.5 – 14.5). They were led by a last second substitution, Mike Bush, who won 8.5 points. The rest of the team matches were close for the second week in a row. Morning Wood narrowly defeated Schmuck Dynasty (20.5 – 19.5). They were led by Mike Harris and Justin Seiter who both grabbed 7.5 points each. Finally, Das Boot are made for Golfing made it three victories in a row defeating Carrier to the Hole and Duer (20.5 – 19.5). They were led by team captain Roller who managed 7.5 points against the card. The winners of the low net were Joe Eiser (A/B) with a low net of 30 and Seiter, Glaser and Bush (C/D) also with a low net of 30. Congratulations to the winners! We move to the back of the Pioneer for the final two week of match play. There is still time to narrow the gap before the final scramble. Morning Wood is in the driver’s seat right now but that can change very quickly in this league.
Finally, I wanted to take the rest of this time to promote a very special golf outing to benefit Childhood Leukemia. It is the No One Golfs Alone golf outing at the Kenton County Golf courses on August 23. Fellow GCCGL member Danny Roller and GCC co-worker, Kurtis Green asked the league to promote this event. Please take a look and if you can, please consider supporting this wonderful cause.
No One Golfs Alone After Party
We hope to see you on the course and as always, hit ’em straight!
George Almeida – GCCGL Founder and co-commissioner
