2013 – Week 9

Things are heating up! Week 9 is in the books and we are officially past the mid-way point of the 2013 GCCGL season! It was a picture perfect day this June 20th in northern Kentucky. We had a great turnout (23 of 24) golfers showed up thanks to four substitutes. We even have several subs who were willing to play but no slots were available…or was there? We did have one no show, Syndrome. More on that later. Thank you to our wonderful subs, Silent H, Danielle Lickert, Tom Tucker and Justin Seiter.

Business Day Special
As stated in the opening paragraph, we almost had another perfect attendance day if not for the one named Syndrome. He was in town and told everyone he was planning on playing golf that evening. His teammates on Moore’s Misfits, claim they asked him if he was going to be there and he assured them that he would. Ah but you see, what they didn’t know was how much of an affect the magical, intoxicating lure of rum and bourbon can have on a man, especially one of the stature of our very own Syndrome. Sure, it was the business day special (Reds afternoon game) that took him from the office. “The game starts at 12:30pm”, he said. “It will be finished in plenty of time to get to the golf course”, he thought. He was right. The game was over in plenty of time. BUT DON’T BLAME IT ON THE GAME.  In fact, the game was over so early, surely there was plenty of time to head over to the downtown bar Scene Ultra Lounge. Right? Maybe so but that was followed by a stop across the street at the Righteous Room for one more quick drink before the round. Say what you want about Syndrome, the man knows how to party in style. Check these places out. I’m not sure I’d be allowed to use their restrooms, never mind sit at the bar. All I can picture is a red carpet, a velvet divider and a steroid induced bouncer with an 11th grade education taking $20 bills just for a chance at being allowed to walk into the place. BUT DON”T BLAME IT ON THE DESIGNER BARS. He could have left at any time. No, it was the bourbon……followed by the rum. After that, his responsibilities to Moore’s Misfits disappeared faster than Goldenberg when it’s his turn to buy the next round of drinks.

Cousin Joe and Donnie Golf Game were contemplating their draft decision after the round when they learned that their teammate did not show up….again or get a sub…..again. Moore’s Misfits is in the thick of the race sitting in fourth place and busting a gut trying to stay within striking distance in the very competitive 2013 GCCGL race, but they were definitely regretting their decision to take Syndrome over Fausz. So that got them wondering how they would have fared had they taken Fausz instead of Syndrome. The answer is +5.5 points. They’d still be in 4th place but just a point or two out of 3rd. I smell another trade in the works. One thing is for sure with Syndrome on your team, you’ll never be thirsty during a scramble and you just can’t put a price on the entertainment factor.

Everyone’s favorite anchorman
This week’s picture is of Tom Tucker, the infamous news anchorman for Quahog 5 News on the Family Guy cartoon. You may be wondering why this is. Well, The Politician’s brother-in-law’s name is Tom Tucker. I had the privilege of being matched against him this week. He’s a good man and a very good golfer. I’m a huge fan of the Family Guy show on Fox. I know, I know. It’s cheap, adult, satirical, bathroom humor but in my opinion and the opinion of my family, it is hysterical. However, remarkably I hadn’t made the connection between Tom Tucker, the Politician’s brother-in-law and Tom Tucker, the handsome, mustachioed, narcissistic baritone news anchor on Family Guy. It was only as I started putting together the blog that I realized this. I admit, Family Guy was on in the background. It was the one where Lois decides she’s going to be a runway model to spite Peter and he enlists his father-in-law, Carter Pewterschmidt to bring her home and Carter makes Peter eat a pine cone in return for his help. A pine cone…..come on, who thinks of this stuff? That’s great writing right there. Anyway, I guess I was “in the zone” last night and didn’t realize this connection. Obviously, my concentration level didn’t help since I lost. As a matter of fact, that was THE hardest 4 points I’ve ever earned in this league in almost 20 years! Tom par’d 3 of the first 4 holes while I was too busy sweating like a pig and ruining my new Hilton Head hat. Anyway, I can say that I lost my golf match to Tom Tucker. I think that’s pretty cool.

Other News
On hole #4, Goldie hits his approach shot about one foot away from the pin. Being that it was a birdie attempt, Cupcake refused to give him the putt. Goldie misses it! No one messed with the Cletus jewels this week. Probably a good thing. Big Donkey is back! First of all, he shot a 37 but ran into a buzz saw in JJ who shot way under his HC (38). He was his regular, talkative, fun-loving Big Donkey self. He stayed for post-round beverages (which by the way was all gone by the time the 5th group finished their round). This would not have been the case if Syndrome was there! I believe Mike even went to BW’s after the round. Welcome back BD!

This Friday, June 21st just past 1:00am marked the summer solstice, the longest day of the year and the official start to Summer. Believe it or not, we begin to lose light each and every day from here on out. We shouldn’t have any issues this year. There is no league in front of us and if we think we will run into problems in August, we can probably tee off a little earlier if we wanted. Also, the July 4th holiday falls on a Thursday this year. There will be NO LEAGUE play on July 4th. Finally, a big thanks to co-commissioner Cupcake who filled in last week and took care of everything including writing up a blog for last week. Believe me, he made sure to remind me that he did EVERYTHING and that I did nothing! Little does he know, that’s all part of my master plan. Also, he stayed up till past 2:00 AM updating the statistics, database, handicaps and even prepared the spreadsheet for next week for Lipgloss and I. There you have it, that is the dedication that everyone in the GCCGL gets from their commissioners. Seriously……….thanks Jason!

The big winners this week were Free Pork Sandwich who destroyed Slicers not Hookers (24 – 16) and have crept to within 3 points of 1st place and just 1.5 points out of 2nd. They were led by Matt Mclinn who added to his point leading total with another 7.5 points. #teamname snuck past Tiagra Woods (22.5 –  17.5). They were led by Glen Gustafson who managed 7 points. Who’s Your Caddie narrowly defeated the Syndrome-less Moore’s Misfits (21 -19). They were led by Joe Cook who grabbed 6.5 points. Only 10.25 points separate the top four teams. This promises to be a historic finish to the 2013 GCCGL season. Next week is the popular Pot Luck week! This year, all A/B players are matched up against C/D players. It will be interesting to see how this plays out. The matches have been set. Check them out below. We hope to see you on the golf course and as always, hit ’em straight!

Pot Luck Matches