2013 – Week 14

I’m not sure you could have asked for a better day weather-wise than what we had this past Thursday, in Northern KY. A freak cold front gave us comfortable evening in the upper 70’s, clear skies and low humidity for this time of year. We had 23 of 24 golfers show up with a late scratch. A remarkable 8 subs filled in. A big thank you to Bush, Lickert, Tucker, Hlebovy, Berkley, Seiter, Remington and all the way from Franklin, Bruce Maines.

 

C.R.A.P.
FREE PORK SANDWICH (the Goldenberg Dilemma) has moved into first place. This team was the laughing stock of the league 14 weeks ago when on opening night, they could only manage a +4 in the Florida Scramble. They finished in last place that night with only 3 points and 17 points out of first place. They were mocked, ridiculed and quite frankly an embarrassment to golf league teams everywhere. Their A player, Goldie, demanded to be traded and threatened to sit out the season rather than play with this bunch of misfits ever again. They endured all the jokes including how they’ve been mathematically eliminated after the first week of the season but after losing the first team match play in week 2, they’ve gone on to win the next 10 team matches in a row! Now they sit in first place with a slim 1.5 point lead after defeating the first place #teamname. This is the consummate rags to riches story that gives hope to all mediocre golf teams around the world.

 

There is still plenty of golf left to play, so no one is celebrating just yet. However, to mark this occasion, I decided to share with everyone, the secret to this team’s success. It is a simple four step strategy that if followed, will almost guarantee that your golf team will stay competitive and have a shot at the championship at year’s end. All you have to remember is C.R.A.P.

 

Captain
Just like you can’t choose your parents, you cannot choose your captain however it is critical to have the right man/woman steering the ship. The captain must be informed, experienced, decisive and most of all passionate. It also doesn’t hurt to have an insanely over-inflated handicap.

 

Reliability rating
This goes without saying. FPS leads the league with an 88.5 reliability rating. Also, no FPS member has played their card this season.

 

Assortment of ethnic backgrounds (Drafting for Diversity)
Diversity of team members is another essential ingredient in the recipe for success. You need a eclectic group of individuals with backgrounds so different, the only place you’d ever find them together is on a golf course in the same foursome or possibly the Department of Motor Vehicles office. FPS has a hillbilly, a Portuguese, a Jew and an engineer. If that’s not a winning combination, I don’t know what is.

 

Picking your team name
Perhaps the most vital step to completing the puzzle is picking the right team name. It must be unique, funny and creative. Case in point, Free Pork Sandwich, arguably one of the more creative team names in GCCGL history. On the other side of the spectrum you have Moore’s Misfits who’s basically scraping the side of the barrel to stay out of the cellar. They never had a chance with that team name selection.

 

Around the League
Big Donkey is back. Not only has he gotten over his bout with Harrisitis,  he’s playing some great golf. While everyone was pulling off their cleats and socks and using all 10 fingers and toes to add up all their strokes this week, Harris was busy shooting a 37 gross! By far the best round of the week. He went undefeated in Harris versus the League this week! Impressive.

 

Speaking of impressive, with only two more match play weeks left in the season, here are your individual statistical leaders for the 2013 GCCGL season so far.

 

Points Leaders
McLinn – 71
Roller – 58.5
Duer 57.5

 

Money Leaders
Moore – $50.50
McLinn – $48.50
Eiser – $42.75

 

Winning PCT (min 8 matches)
McLinn – .900%
Gustafson – .813%
Roller – .800%

 

The big winners this week were Who’s Your Caddie who crushed Slicers Not Hookers (24 – 16). They were led by the Politician who stole 7.5 points this week. In the battle of the top two teams, FPS came out on top in a close one with a (21.5 – 18.5) win. They were led by Goldie who managed 8 points. In the battle of the “Have Nots”, despite their team name, Moore’s Misfits defeated Tiagra Woods (21 – 19). They were led by substitute Seiter who won 7.5 points. I’ve been told that the Swing for a Cure golf outing will take place this year. As soon as I here more news I will post the information. It is normally held the Friday before Labor Day. We finish next week on the back nine of the Willows. We hope to see you on the course and as always, hit ’em straight!

 

George Almeida – GCCGL Co-Commissioner

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