Kreyling Korner – Week #4 – May 13, 2021
THE LIPSMACKER MATCH OF THE WEEK
Don’t look now GCCGLers…that’s two in a row! Cook with the W over Eiser and old Lip-Gloss is on a winning streak (2-0). I have no intentions of jumping off this winning train!
Week 4 MOW – Mike “Big Donkey” Harris vs. Mike “Swiper” Ethridge – Pot luck brings a lot of intrigue to the MOW. Particularly when you consider the stroke differential that ultimately plays out in this match-up of A/Bs vs. C/Ds. For example, Tucker is giving 10 to D. Allen, Roddy is giving 10 to Leininger, and Nixon is giving 11 to Rayburn. One of those matches with a huge stroke differential is Harris giving 10 strokes to Ethridge. How can this match not be the MOW? The reigning season MVP versus the Historical MVP. These two have faced off before, way back in 2018 when Big Donkey put the beat down on Swiper, 7-3. So far in 2021, Harris is 0-1-1 and Ethridge is 2-0. Also worth noting, Harris’s team, the Rolling 60s sits in first place with Ethridge’s team, is Jerry’s Kids, just 3 points behind. It’s still early in the 2021 season, but a win for either of these guys tonight is a nice step towards a championship.
GLOSSY PREDICTION – Obviously, a lot has changed since the original Big Donkey/Swiper match in 2018. Swiper is a much better golfer (demonstrated by a huge drop in handicap). From what I have heard, Mike’s knee is feeling better, but still not back to 100%. As the saying goes, “to be the best, you have to beat the best.” 10 strokes is a ton to overcome, but I just don’t think Ethridge is there yet. Harris wins 6-4.
THE KREYLING KORNER
Everyone gather round. It’s time to have a little talk from uncle Lip-Gloss. The topic – slow play. First things first, if you read the topic and think “well, this doesn’t apply to me,” stop thinking that. This post doesn’t apply to like 3 people in the league and you aren’t one of them.
Dudes (and dudette since the Golf Witch is making an appearance tonight), this is getting out of hand. Last week I was in the first group and we finished like 40 minutes before the group behind us knocked their last putt in on 18. I know, the back of the Willows is harder, and people shot higher scores. I get it, but I also don’t buy it. Not to pick on this guy, but last week my man D. Allen had a day he would rather forget. Poor guy shot a 67 but STILL played in 2 hours. Which brings me to my first point…
Playing 9 holes should take you 2 hours. Period. End of story. I’ll give you 2 hours and 15 minutes if you are walking the back of the Willows, but that’s all the wiggle room you get. Believe it or not, there is somewhat of a method on how I do the tee-times. Generally, the first group is filled with certain players that will dictate the pace of play. Read between the lines here (looking at you Ollie), if you want to play early, you better play quick. From there, everyone should keep up with the group in front of them. Every week in the tee time email I say “As always, please try and keep up with the group in front of you.” From now on I’m taking out the TRY. It’s just do. If you are in a fairway and notice the group in front of you has already teed off on the next hole, get moving. You have fallen to far behind. You know what else, it’s ok to mention your pace of play to the group – “guys we are way behind, we need to stop searching for this ball and pick it up.” Which brings me to my next point…
Stop searching for balls in the woods! I’m going to use myself as an example of this. On hole 13 last week I sliced a drive so far left off the tee I knew it was gone immediately. I spent exactly ZERO seconds looking for it and simply asked Pete, “you cool if I drop here, I think this is where it went in.” You know when you hit a shot if it’s findable or not. Look I get it, sometimes your close to being in the woods/tall grass and sometimes you hit a good shot that just disappears. Remember, you have 3 minutes to look for a ball – that’s it! If you can’t find it, take your penalty and move on. I’d also guess that most of the time when you are looking for your ball, you find another one that isn’t yours. Drop that one, take your penalty stroke, and move on. You don’t have to spend 10 minutes looking for your Pro-V when you found 3 other ones. And this brings me to my final point.
If it hurts you to lose a good ball, stop playing good balls. A dozen Titleist ProV1 golf balls cost $50; they offer sooooo many other options anywhere from $25 to $35 a dozen. Not to mention, there are so many other brands that are affordable. If you lose more than 3 balls in 18 holes, or it still stings when you lose a nice golf ball – STOP PLAYING THEM. For the vast majority of people in this league, you won’t notice a difference between a high-level brand of golf ball and a mid-level brand. We don’t need people looking for their nice golf balls for 10 minutes! It’s not a damn diamond, it’s a freaking golf ball and spending endless time looking for them is slowing down play!!! One other uncle LG tip – if you want to play nice golf balls, but don’t want to buy them, ask for them as gifts. I’ve told my ex-wife that if the kids ever want to get me a present, just make it a dozen ProV1s. It beats the hell out of the “World’s Best Farter…I mean Father” mug. Ok, that was kind of a cool gift, but you get the point. Before you know it, you are going to have 6 dozen high end balls sitting in your garage you didn’t pay a dime for. And then you won’t care if you lose them.
Until next week – fairways and greens my friends.
