Kreyling Korner – Week 4 – 05-10-18
Bad news first – I went 1-1 last week to drop my overall MOW record to 1-3. Good news – it’s early in the 2018 season, plenty time to make it up.
THE LIP SMACKER MATCH OF THE WEEK
A/B Group – Nick “Potter” Duer vs. Joe “Boot Boy” Eiser – how can I not pick this match up in week 4? I love it when two long time members get the chance to face-off. These two had their first match in 2010 and have since battled 10 times. Overall, Eiser owns the edge at 5-3-2. Both these boys need a victory to kickstart their 2018 campaign as both have yet to secure a win (Duer: 0-2; Eiser: 0-1-1). Speaking of underachievement – my man Duer has been in the league since 2009. In that time frame he has one 3rd place and one 2nd place finish. And to make matters worse, he’s on Catalina Wine Mixer, a team that’s off to the worse start in GCCGL history. Two years ago I was on Gambler’s Fallacy – the second worst team in the GCCGL (thanks for taking the top spot Birdies, Eagles and a Crowe). That was a dark, dark year so I know how Duer is feeling. I also know a thing or two about underachievement in this league. All that being said, I feel like Duer needs a little bit of confidence. For that reason, I’m going with the man who has the sweetest swing in the league. GLOSSY PREDICTION – Duer wins 6-4.
C/D Group – George “Portuguese Warrior” Almeida vs. Andy “Russell” Crowe – As if this match needs any introduction. Let me give you a win loss record to chew on: 0-13-1. That’s Andrew “Russell” Crowe’s record since starting league play in the year of our lord 2017. When will this man finally get a win? Talk to him after a round and Crowe doesn’t bat an eye. Normally he just takes a sip of beer and says something like “next week is my week.” If the pulse of the league gives us any indication on when Andy’s first win will happen, it’s in week #4 against the PW (42.86% of the league voted this way in the week 3 survey). And another thing, is it me or does George seem like as moody as a teenage girl this year? Every week him and Cupcake are at each other’s throats. Not that I’m complaining, I just sit back grab some popcorn and watch the cat fight. Anyway, I think this is Russell’s week. GLOSSY PREDICTION – Crowe wins 6.5-3.5.
THE KREYLING KORNER
Speaking of George being all mad at Cupcake, this week was no different. But, this week’s spat actually led to an idea for Kreyling Korner. The best golf pranks! Here is a list of five of my favorites.
Marshmallow Drop
We all know this one, you litter a fairway with marshmallows. As the group behind walks to the green you can stand back and watch them walk aimlessly to round white marshmallows. True, this is really annoying if the prank is played on you, but you cannot deny it’s actually pretty funny because it works every single time. I think Cletus was the last person to execute this prank in a scramble event years ago. I cussed the old man all night because I walked to a marshmallow on every hole.
Trap a man in a port-o-let
Who doesn’t think it’s funny driving a golf cart up next to a port-o-let when your buddy needs to relieve himself of the 6 beers he drank? There is a true sense of enjoyment hearing him pound on the door for a few minutes while you sit in the cart and giggle. This prank was executed by Gobstopper on Prince Albert two years ago in the first ever US Open event which Mitch suddenly had a sudden case of the runs.
“Icing” Someone on the Golf Course
In my vast research for Kreyling Korner, I ran across an old prank that I fell is making somewhat of a comeback. You guys remember when icing was a thing? It just occurred to me we might have members in this league who are both to old and to young to remember this. The prank goes something like this – take a Smirnoff Ice, hide it somewhere, when your buddy finds it said buddy must get on one knee and chuck the fruity concoction. Juvenile? Of course, but it’s kind of funny. Hide a Smirnoff Ice in your playing partners golf bag and BOOM – you have a golf prank. This prank has NOT been executed in the GCCGL.
Taking the Wheels off a Pull Cart
Now we are getting somewhere. The league has turned over quite a bit since this prank was executed, but it was quite funny. Executed by none other than the infamous Cletus, years back the peaceful Portuguese Warrior was warming up on the putting green. PW was so focused on dialing in his putting stroke he completely ignored his unattended golf bag, which was attached firmly to his pull cart. Old Cletus simply walked over and unscrewed the wheels. Once George was done warming up, the peaceful Portuguese Warrior turned into a very angry Portuguese Warrior. The whole league laughed pretty hard as George had to reattach his wheels…Cletus harder than anyone.
Beer Cans In the Golf Bag
There is a common theme here – Cletus executes the prank and George is the target. As mentioned above, George and Jason were in a tiff again this week. This time, Jason received the following text from PW: “Just found half full Miller Lights in golf bag. Empty cans are funny, ones with beer in it that got all over my care and grips are not. Be a man and admit it was you.” I’m starting the Portuguese are not peaceful people. There seems to be some serious anger there! You see, what happened was this. Allen dropped beers in George’s bag at the end of the 2017 season. Obviously, after the season George did not touch his clubs until 2018. For the first three weeks of the 2018 season, PW had no idea his bag was slightly heavier. Until of course one of the beers exploded. Hence, an angry text to George. I hope these two keep fighting all season. For the record, this prank has executed by Cletus on multiple people multiple times. I’m pretty sure Cupcake found an unopened beer in the bottom of his bag last year that has been there for a few years.
Until next week – fairways and greens my friends.
