KREYLING KORNER – WEEK 19 – 08-27-15

THE LIPSMACKER MATCH OF THE WEEK

The 2015 season is drawing to end! Tonight is the annual end of the year Best Ball Scramble. Which means, no mo MOW. Until next year…

THE KREYLING KORNER

You know what I love – survey’s. Workplace happiness surveys. Surveys reviewing a product you just bought off the home shopping network. Hell, you can even fill out surveys on apps you just downloaded to that fly little Apple watch. Well, yesterday, Cupcake sent out a survey asking for votes on closest to the pin, longest drive, and who of the co-commissioners is the most trustworthy. As of the writing of this blog post, I received ZERO votes. NONE. NADA. ZIP.  Seriously – I know I’m not an angel…but NOT ONE VOTE? And I thought I had at least a couple friends in this league (I’m looking at you Mitch and Danielle!). Each week I take your special tee-time requests, I listen to you all complain about how you never get to play with so and so, or how you never get to play in the first group…blah blah blah. Not to mention I bite my lip every time I see you fools roll your balls out of deep rough to basically a fairway lie.  I try to keep everyone happy…and this is what I get in return!

Now – let’s talk about the co-commissioner who is the most trustworthy – Co-commissioner Cupcake. I get it, he comes across as quiet, he is very pleasant when you hand in the scorecards, and he has dimples. Did it ever occur to any of you that maybe he is quiet because he always has a beer can to his mouth? Or that maybe he is pleasant when you hand in your scorecards because he is secretly weaving you into the next GCCGL controversy? As for the dimples – DAMN him for having good genes!

This all brings me to tonight’s End of the Year Best Ball Scramble and Section 9A -1 of the GCCGL Rules and Regulations. Otherwise known as the Witzgall Incident, this rule establishes that, in a scramble event, a substitute can only fill in for a full time member if said sub is within 3 strokes of the member’s handicap. Well, riddle me this batman – what happens when you secure a perfectly legal sub the week prior to the scramble, and then the handicaps change when you move to the back 9 of the Willows? Suddenly it’s the week of the event and your perfectly legal sub is now “technically” illegal. This particular scenario actually happened to two teams this week! And one of them was mine!

Well this co-commissioner (and let me remind you – the one all of you think acts with the LEAST amount honesty and integrity) tried to find a legal sub. And do you know when I stopped looking – when Mr. Trustworthy himself walked straight into my office and said “technically, the rules don’t state which course handicap you have to use when determining if a sub is within the rules of Section 9A-1…so I think they are all legal.” Good enough for me! If Co-Commissioner Cupcake can sit on his throne of golf morale and hand down a judgment, what does it matter if the CON-MAN of the commissioner’s office disagrees? Morale of the story – if any of you has a problem with the subs this week – talk to the golden boy…co-commissioner Cupcake.

It’s the last week of the year, which means – it’s time to hand out some thank you notes…

Thank you,…you know what, screw it….I’m not thanking any of you!

Until next year – fairways and greens…you jerks!