KREYLING KORNER – WEEK #17 – 07-13-15

THE LIPSMACKER MATCH OF THE WEEK

Some great match-ups in week 17. Here are the MOWs…

A/B Group – Nick “Potter” Duer vs. Joe “Boot-Boy” Eiser – these two have met a total of 7 times and Joe has pretty much dominated the series with a record of 4-1-2. Joe is dead locked in a tie for the points leader at 62 and his team is poised to hoist another championship trophy at the end of the season. When I look at this match-up the record does not necessarily surprise me. I’m assuming Potter has historically given Joe multiple strokes each round. Tonight is no exception as Nick gives Joe 2. Joe is really hard to beat if he gets strokes. Glossy Prediction: I think Boot-boy ekes out a win tonight 5.5 – 4.5.

C/D Group – Oliver “Ollie” Livermore vs. Allen “Cletus” Bloomhuff – these butt-heads have met 6 times and are dead even at 3-3. Here’s the thing about this match – Allen is still dead to me after blowing my STONE COLD LOCK OF THE YEAR. The lay man (“defined as those outside the GCCGL”) would expect me to pick Ollie. However, the MOW jinx is real…and it’s powerful. Therefore I pick Cletus. You hear that Golf Gods…I PICK CLETUS. Cletus…Cletus…Cletus. Who cares what the score is…I PICK CLETUS. You’re welcome Ollie.

THE KREYLING KORNER

Big day today! The PGA Championship starts at Whistling Straits (which I have added to my bucket list courses) and it’s national left handers day. Seriously – this is a real day – read all about it right here: http://www.lefthandersday.com/. As the resident leftie of the golf league I encourage all of you to give your southpaw brethren and high five today…with your left hand of course.

National left hander day got me thinking – what other goofy national days are out there and who would endorse them from the GCCGL?

March 3 – If Pets Had Thumbs Day – seriously, this is the strangest and hardest to match of the bunch. How does one go about celebrating this day? Do you sit around imagining what your dog could do if he had thumbs? It does remind me of a classic line from Meet the Parents – “Mr. Jinx can’t lift the seat, Greg. He lacks the strength and opposable thumbs.”

Who from the GCCGL could be the representative for this? Hell I don’t know. I’m going with the Golf Witch. I played with her last week and she did show my like 15 pictures of her dog. I could see her sitting around on March 3^rd talking to her little Slinky (yep that’s the dog’s name)… “Come on buddy…you can lift the toilet seat.”

April 30 – National Hairstyle Appreciation Day – talk about the jack-pot day for the GCCGL! I mean the possibilities are endless. We could go the “bald route” and pick Carrier, Almeida or myself. Or we could go with Ollie – the walking “Just for Men” endorsement for the past 30 years. Not to mention he is the only guy in the league that can legitimately put his hair in a ponytail. But here in the Kreyling Korner, we look a little deeper. I’m going with Szylakowski – that dude has a great head of hair. I noticed it two weeks ago while playing in his group. It’s the perfect blend of bowl cut and awesome. Long and flowy up top (which he can whip out of his face) but trimmed down low on the back and the sides. This bald man is envious – that’s for sure.

July 3 – Compliment Your Mirror Day – Jason “Cupcake” Nill…hands down. Come on – the guy is almost 40 and he looks like he is 25. He never has a hair out of place and I’m sure it’s because he puts three pounds of gel in it every morning. He obviously cares about his physical physique – he runs 6 miles like 4 or 5 times a week. Now follow me here for a minute – July 3 is the day before July 4^th… a holiday typically spent on a boat or by a pool. You’re telling me you can’t picture Cupcake in front of a mirror on July 3 flexing in his new bathing suit saying – “damn you are a good mirror…or do I just look that good?” NAILED IT!

September 19 – International Talk Like a Pirate Day – I’ve heard of this one before and it always makes me laugh. I mean who doesn’t like talking like a pirate. Admit it – you are doing it right now. It reminds me of a joke (or 2) – Why are pirates called pirates? They just arrrrrgh. What does a dyslexic pirate say? Raaaaaaa.

Anyway – I can actually picture a lot of people in this league as a pirate. Slap an eye patch and a peg leg on any of the following individuals and you have a hell of a pirate: Bloomhuff, Goldenberg, Roller, Seiter, Petryk…seriously the list goes on. At the end of the day, we have to give this one to Joe Carrier. He already looks like the Gorton’s Fish Sticks guy…swap the yellow rain hat out for a three point hat, a hook and a sword and you have yourself a fine looking pirate.

One more Pirate joke – how good was the Pirate’s golf game? Parrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Until next week – fairways and greens my friends.