THE LIPSMACKER MATCH OF THE WEEK

Cap takes the W in the Red, White and Blue event (which was awesome) – so the overall MOW record stands at 5-2. 

No MOW in week 12 because it’s time for the GCCGL Stableford Scramble.  This event will separate the men from the boys.  Those whose championship dreams are hanging on for dear life (looking at you Party of Fore) MUST have a big night tonight.  It could also be the week where either ODBY or CC pull away and create some distance between each other.  Playing this event on the front of the Pioneer sets up for some low scores and big points! 

KREYLING KORNER

Portuguese Warrior Might Be on to Something

I know what you are thinking – Lip-Gloss, the title of this topic makes it sound like you agree with George’s rant about the Red, White and Blue old guys stuff.  Well I don’t, and I’ll debate it with anyone that wants to have that conversation tonight, but it’s gotten enough air time and I’m moving on.  What PW and I do agree on…Cupcake might be in the subbing business. 

Last week, Matteo shot out a message on our ODBY group text saying he needed a sub for the Stableford Scramble.  We will miss him, but all good we have plenty of time to get a sub within the rules.  We all debated who to ask, or who had already been asked, and Cap threw out the name of Joe Martin.  This is a Brady sub and is one of his buddies, so cool let’s ask him. 

This is where it gets interesting – here is what Crowe said when he asked Brady to check with Joe about subbing.  Well, Brady is not going to help us next week with a sub.  Said he doesn’t want to help us because we are in second place.

I mean that’s fine, Joe Martin’s cell phone number is on the website as a sub, so I texted him myself.  No response for like 4 days.  I followed up and got a polite – No, I can’t sub.

Ultimately, we were able to lock in Nick Wade as a sub and I’m sure he will do an outstanding job.  But the best part of all of this – after we did find a sub, Matteo sent one final text saying the following: I talked to Brady and he said Nill told him not to help us. 

#thingsthatmakeyougohmmm

You want Jokes, I got Jokes

A buddy of mine was in his residency as an ER doctor and his shift was ending on a Saturday afternoon.  He’s walking out the door when he sees this old man in golfing clothing dragging his unconscious wife into the ER.  She’s covered in blood from a head and wound and my friend immediately starts looking her over right there in front of the entrance trying to find her wound.

Trying to remain calm he asks, “what happened here sir?”

The husband is in a panic and exhausted from carrying her dead weight and is just stumbling over his words and rambling all over the place as he tries to explain.  “Well, me and my wife have been married for 35 years and every Saturday morning since our wedding day we’ve played a round of golf together.  You see her dad was the local golf pro…”

“Sir, please try to focus here.  How did she get injured?”

“Sorry, so I play from the white tees and she plays from the red tees and she normally drops me off in the cart and then heads up to her tees and waits for me to hit and I walk up.”

“Sir!” My buddy’s getting frustrated because he’s really struggling to find the wound with the blood and is searching frantically at this point.

“I’m explaining it to you, son!  So anyways, she drops me off like always and I set up for my drive and I thinned it.  I never thin it!  Never!  And low and behold that ball had eyes for my dear Agnes’ head – Agnes is my wife here.  I yelled ‘FORE’ but she wasn’t looking and BOOM!  Straight to the back of her head!”  He just starts weeping at this point clearly overcome by guilt.

Finally my buddy finds the cause of the bleeding but he’s confused.  “Sir, I actually see two injuries here.”

The old man dries his eyes, instantly gains his composure, and state matter of factly, “Well I had to take a mulligan.”

#shouldhaveplayedfromtheyellowtees

Until next week – fairways and greens my friends.