Kreyling Korner – 05/04/17

THE LIPSMACKER MATCH OF THE WEEK  

1-1 in the first week of match play. The 2017 goal of .500 is still in place.  Let’s try to keep it rolling in week numero tres.  My heart is still in Mexico…

A/B Group – Danny “Snoodles” Roller vs. Kurt “Lipgloss” Kreyling – As many good matches as there were last week, the pickens are slim in week #3. Don’t get me wrong – there are some to keep an eye on – Goldie/Mitch, Harris/Turnwald – but none have relevant history like me and the old Snoodles.  I hate putting myself in MOWs because 1.) I sort of believe in the MOW JINX and 2.) how can you bet against yourself?  Seriously – that goes against everything I was taught in knothole baseball.  And the best lessons in life come from knothole baseball!  No secret in this match – Roller kicks the butt of Lipgloss.  He is 6-2 overall and I haven’t beaten him since 2012.  But just like Coach Wolnitzek use to tell me when I was a we lad playing first base for the St. Agnes Wildcats – “Come on Squirt.”  Yeah, not all that inspirational but I’m fired up.  GLOSSY PREDICTION – Lipgloss wins 6.5-3.5.

Side note – yes, my baseball coach growing up called me Squirt.

C/D Group – John “Syndrome” Rayburn vs. Mike “Squints” Tucker – This match needs rocky music and Michael Buffer saying “Let’s get ready to rummmmmmlllllleeeee.”   Here’s a stat for you – Mr. Buffer has earned over $400 million for trademarking that phrase.  400.  Million.  Dollars.  Sometimes life just isn’t fair.  That stupid saying doesn’t even take 10 seconds to speak!  Anyway – back to Syndrome and Squints.  This is the first time these two have faced off, so who knows what’s going to happen.  Actually, I know exactly what’s going to happen – Syndrome is going to win.  His victory will have absolutely nothing to do with actual golf, because frankly Tucker is the better golfer.  His win will simply come from the mental games that will ensue for 2 hours.  If I’m Tucker I pull a Mike Harris circa 2014 and play with ear buds all night long.  Otherwise, Syndrome will own real estate in Tucker’s head.  GLOSSY PREDICTION – Rayburn wins 5.5-4.5

THE KREYLING KORNER

It’s the second week of Kreyling Korner and I’m ready to reveal another new “feature.” We are going to do something this week called TREND WATCH.  We will discuss the hot buttons of the league and determine if said topic is trending up, or trending down.   Pretty simple, huh?  Let’s get started!

TRENDING UP

Mitch Smith – To quote the great Roy McAvoy from Tin Cup, “you rider her until she bucks you, or you don’t ride at all.” Two points for me for working a golf movie quote into this week’s blog post.  I’m sure most of you are wondering where I’m going with this.  Mitch is on an incredible hot streak right now – he shot a gross 34 last week, winning him low net money and giving me the MOW middle finger.  He’s also led his team to a second place finish in the Flo-RIDA scramble in week #1.  All of this has resulted in his team being just 4.5 points out of first place.  Oh yeah – I almost forgot to mention he is recently engaged.  The fact that Mitch got any woman to say yes to a proposal (even though she may change her mind and call off the whole thing) is impressive in itself.  Needless to say, Mitch is on a hot streak and has yet to be bucked.  Mitch Smith, you are definitely TRENDING UP.

TRENDING DOWN

League Attendance – Men, there are times in life you have to address issues head on.  And this is one!  What is going on with league attendance this year?  Each of the first two weeks of the year we have had “did not show up and did not get a sub” status.  At the time I’m writing this I know of two members who need sub in week 3 and can’t find anyone.  Believe it or not – I’m not calling out the members of the league.  I get it, it’s hard to commit to 20 weeks of perfect attendance.   Everyone has life and work duties that sometimes just take precedence.  But come on SUBS – we need you to step up and actually play some golf.  And when you say you are going to sub – YOU ACTUALLY SHOW UP!  I bring this up only because I’m afraid for where this is heading.  If attendance continues to lack, we may end up going to 5 teams next year…and I know no one wants that.  League attendance is definitely trending down.

Mother Nature – I used to utter the following saying when members would inquire about the GCCGL being cancelled due to rain, “it doesn’t rain on Thursday night.”  Well color me green and call me Gumby because that ain’t true anymore.  Judging from the first three weeks of this season, I’m starting to wonder if the entire 2017 season will see a clear night at all.  Ok – I know that’s extreme, but this is getting crazy.  If you’re listening Momma Earth…chill out on Thursday nights.  Pretty pretty please.  Mother Nature = trending down.

Until next week – fairways and greens my friends.