2018 – Florida Scramble
The 2018 GCCGL campaign is on its way! The clubs were barely dusted off and the season was already rife with controversy. You know what I call that? A GREAT start! It all started with an email from the co-commissioner who was once voted by his GCCGL peers, “the most trustworthy commissioner”, Cupcake. The commissioner’s office has a little nickname for CC, we call him Teflon Cupcake. Nothing sticks to this guy. There’s been a lot of controversy over the 20+ years of the GCCGL and this guy has been smack-dab in the middle of most of them. Yet he always comes out unscathed while Lip Gloss and PW are plucking shrapnel out of their buttocks. All he has to do is look you in the eye with that Cupcake charisma, spout a few words of deceit and show off a smidgeon of those pearly whites and he’s got you under his spell of deception. You know who else had similar character traits? Ted Bundy. Anyway, Cupcake sent out this email to the commissioner’s office indicating that several members had not paid their dues yet. As most of you know, there are stiff penalties for not paying your dues prior to the first tee time of the season. To make a long story short, the GCCGL internal affairs department discovered that Cupcake had failed to include a single member of his team as one of the “unpaid” when in fact several of his team members hadn’t paid yet. Therefore, the emailed document that CC officially filed with the commissioner’s office was forged. When confronted, CC tried to claim that he “covered” the dues for his teammates but alas, there was no money trail, no receipts and no underlying bank statement confirming his lies! In the end, everyone paid on time and no penalties were handed out. But the point is that your day of reckoning has arrived Cupcake! You have finally been exposed for the conniving, scheming weasel you are! That is until you flaunt your perfect head of hair and wink your way out of this scandal……. again.
As is typical with this whacked out golf league of ours, one proverbial controversial door closes and another one opens. The Hackstreet Boys got off to a great start on the first tee (#10 Pioneer) when Goldie’s drive landed within a couple feel of the pin! The best shot on that hole that anyone has ever witnessed probably in GCCGL history. However, the clubhouse received a call from an anonymous caller who would only identify himself as Sniffles, Snickers, Snoodles, something like that. He stated emphatically that Goldie tapped in the putt for the team’s eagle. HOLD ON THERE Spanky! Florida Scramble rules definitively state that the person who’s shot is used, CAN NOT, play the very next shot. Those are the rules. This was a clear violation. As word spread throughout the golf course of this infraction, the GCCGL constituents demanded repercussions. Of course, there was no GCCGL rule for this type of stupidity. Quickly a new rule was drawn up named the “Don’t Be Stupid Rule” later to be renamed the “Goldenberg Rule II”. It was decided that the infraction would incur a two-stroke penalty. However, because we live in America and operate within a democracy, Goldie was allowed to tell his side of the story. He denied the allegations. Since the anonymous caller did not want to press charges, the case was dismissed and the eagle was allowed.
As if it couldn’t get worse, the first group, Ballers Schott Callers!, was supposed to take markers for the CTP on #13. They didn’t. They had one thing to do and couldn’t even do that. I know….I know, that group had three subs and a newbie (Capannari) so it was easy for them to forget. I get it. Oh, and by the way, this is co-commissioner Cupcake’s team. Maybe, Cupcake should have mentioned something to his team? Cletus was subbing for that team, he’s only been playing in the league for a hundred years, you’d think he would know that the one responsibility the first group has is to bring out the markers during a scramble. Sure, you can blame me as one of the commissioners. I should have been on top of things and made sure they brought markers. Or maybe it was Lip Gloss’ responsibility since he is responsible for the tee times and groupings. But it is more fun to blame CC while he’s reading this on vacation. So, there were no CTP winners. We’ll double up on the next event and maybe hold both CTP and Longest Drive competitions.
Whew…. I’m exhausted already.
Some new nicknames are starting to filter in. Looks like Urbano Galindo will be referred to as El Hefe. Perhaps annoyed by his new nickname, El Hefe tabbed Joel Miller with Joey Fatone or Fatone for short. There were a few others floating around but quite frankly, they were just plain mean! I think we’ll let the season percolate for a little while until nicknames start sticking. Remember, you don’t choose your nickname, the nickname chooses you. Speaking of names, does anyone else find it a little maddening that VanPelt isn’t spelled with a space? Is it just me? The first official post round gathering took place at Barleycorn’s and drew a good crowd for the first week. A lot of good, interesting and some disturbing material was gleamed from the evening conversation but of course, I can’t really use any of it because of the family nature of this blog.
The winners of the Florida Scramble were Donkey’s Disciples who finished -3. Putter Face and Ballers Schott Callers! finished tied for second at -1 while the other three teams finished tied at even par. We begin match play next week still on the Pioneer back nine. If you can’t make it, please give one of our subs a chance to play. Several of them have made it known to me that they want to play this year like Ben Leininger, Melissa Cember, Jason Kramer, Allen Bloomhuff. These are the ones who’ve reached out to me and either wanted to play full-time or explicitly told me they’d like to sub a more. If you are a sub and WANT to play more often and want a shout out on the blog, then drop me an email letting me know. I’ll make sure to forward the message. We hope to see you on the course and as always, hit ‘em straight!
George Almeida – GCCGL co-commissioner
